By Esther Andrews

From observing Ruth and many other people around me in my career, I learned a very important lesson: ones confidence determines ones career. A person can be a genius. He can be most qualified for a job. If he doesnt believe that he can do it, he might not even take on the assignment in the first place. If he does take it on, most likely he will not be as successful as he could.

Just a few weeks ago, I had a conversation with Tammy, another friend of mine. She is a very talented psychologist, very respected at her work place and by her superiors. She told me about a position that has become available at her office. I thought that it would be a fabulous opportunity for Tammy, but she said that she is not going to apply for this position, because she doesnt have enough experience, she does not have the skills needed, and it will take at least another 5 years for her to be able to fulfill this position.

Whether Tammy was right or not in her assessment, I think that this incident proves my point: confidence is a deciding factor for how successful one will be.

So how do we make sure our child develops strong confidence in his ability? In my opinion, this is one of the major issues in parenting. All educators need to ponder this and make sure they support confidence.

Here are a few suggestions that can make a huge difference in your childs confidence:

1. 'You can do it'. Say it to your child often. Teach your child to say to himself, when he attempts to conquer a challenging assignment: 'I can do it'. It is very noticeable that when working on a Math problem, again, confidence is the deciding factor. A student who doubts his own ability to solve the problem, may not apply himself in trying to solve the problem. He will easily say 'I cant do it' or 'its impossible to solve this'. A student with strong confidence will try until he finds the solution. Help your child, by reminding him that he can do it. Teach him to say to himself, 'I can do it!'.

2. Dont criticize your child when he attempts an activity. Dont correct him. It is so tempting to correct a child, when you see him doing something 'wrong'. You watch your child coloring, or trying to write, at an early age. He is holding the pen in an awkward position, and your mind is screaming 'You hold the pen like this, not like that!'. Exercise discipline - dont do it!

Should you let your child hold the pen incorrectly? No, of course not! But let him do his research, his experimentation. Let him try different ways to hold the pen, and find out by himself what is most efficient. If you want, you can take your own pen, and your own paper, and do some writing right next to him. He will watch you, and see how you hold the pen. I am sure that he will try your method, and come to his own conclusion.

My neighbor Chris visited me with his 4 year old son, Nick. In order to keep Nick happy and busy, we gave him some crayons, pencils and paper, so that we could have our own conversation. As Nick was trying to write his name, holding the pencil in a slightly awkward position, writing some letters that had no resemblance to the letters in his name, his father jumped up, yanked the pencil out of his hand, wrote the name down in front of him, and said, 'What happened to you! This is wrong, this is how you write your name!' Nick is a very serious child, who attempts everything to the best of his ability. As I looked at him, I noticed the expression on his face. It was very troubled. He laid the pencil down, and refused to try any more. What is the message Chris has given to his son? I think that the thought that went through Nicks head was, 'I am not good at this'. Ok, I give you 3 guesses: how good is Nicks handwriting now, at age 8? - You guessed it! It is not good.

3. Praise, praise, praise. Take the opportunity to celebrate every achievement, big or small. Praise your child for a good effort to complete an assignment. Praise your child for learning a new skill. Praise your child when he shows interest. Praise your child when he shows drive. Praise your child for anything that you would like to encourage.

Praise has to be sincere, of course. Praise has to be accompanied by enthusiasm. It has to feel good.

Before my son, Eric, was 2 years old, we started taking piano lessons together. I have always wanted to learn to play the piano, but my parents did not make it available to me. So now I saw an opportunity. Our scheduled lessons started with Eric, and when Eric was done I got my lesson. The piano teacher used to praise me lavishly. She told me how talented I am. She told me that adults, when learning to play the piano, usually are much slower than I am, that I am learning so fast, that I have a natural ability. Well - I loved going to these lessons. I enjoyed the lessons. I was very enthusiastic about learning to play the piano. Obviously, if the praise worked so well for me, an adult, wouldnt it work wonders for a child?

4. At the end of the day, when you tuck your child to bed, discuss the days events with your child. Ask the important question: Tell me about the good things that happened today. Make sure the last thoughts of your child, before he goes to sleep, are the good, positive experiences of the day. Make sure you praise him for something he did today, some achievement. End the day on a positive note. This will also insure that you havent forgotten to praise your child where praise is due.

5. Write down a few positive affirmations for your child. Good examples for affirmations are: 'You are so smart, and getting smarter every day'. Or 'You are learning more and more every day'. Affirmations have to be written in the present tense, in positive format ('I am strong and healthy', instead of 'I am not sick'). Think of your childs challenges at the time, or if your child had a bad experience, write an affirmation that will negate the negative experience. (Remember - you write it in a positive format).

Repeat the affirmations to your child, 3 times each. 2 to 3 affirmations at a time are plenty. If your child cooperates, teach him to say the affirmations to himself. You can do this during the day, and at bed time. Early morning at the time your child wakes up is also a good time for affirmations. It is a good idea to read the affirmations into a recording device, and let your child listen to them at his convenience, or while you are driving, waiting in line, or just resting.

6. Your child learns about the world and about himself from you, and from the community that he is in. Teachers, classmates and friends can also easily affect your childs confidence. It is a good idea to make sure, to the best of your ability, that your child is in a positive environment.

If your child is very young, make sure all others who take care of him are also aware and considerate of your childs confidence. When you choose a day care facility for your child, or a baby sitter, make sure you choose a positive environment. If your child is older and goes to school, it is a good idea to meet your childs teacher early in the school year, and make sure they are positive, gentle and respectful. You can specifically bring up the issue of confidence and ask them to support your childs confidence. It is always good to choose a teacher for your child who is cooperative, a teacher who will work with you for the benefit of your child.

7. Make sure your child knows he can discuss with you any issue that is on his mind. This way, if something negative happens, you will be able to help your child cope with it in a positive way, instead of creating a painful memory that may affect your child for the rest of his life.

http://www.all-gifted-children.com In the last 27 years, Esther Andrews has specialized in gifted education. In her 'The Manual You Child Should Have Come With - How to Develop Your Childs Genius' she is revealing how she grew 2 profoundly gifted children, and how you can do it too. Check it out at http://www.all-gifted-children.com/package.htm

Tags: Deciding Factor, Self Confidence

By Tony Robinson

Be self-confident as a parent

Children learn by imitating adults, and as parents are the ones who stay the most with the child, the child gets to become like his parents. A self-confident behavior on part of the parent unconsciously establishes self-confident nature as a life skills of the child. A child is a great observer.

So much so that it has been said that a child is the father of man! Observation makes the first half of learning while doing makes the second half. So if he observes you staying idle, not completing your tasks in time, getting confused at the last hour and the resulting fights and bouts of your temper, he might never know the right way to handle situations. He will also be struggling with devils like procrastination and indiscipline.

Give time to your baby

Spending time with your baby is very important. It may be very tempting to put the baby in a daycare and carry on with your day-to-day activities as a parent. You may have an excuse that, after all, you are working so that you can earn and all your earning is for none other than the child. However, what your child needs is you and your time. His treasures are the games you play with him, the long walks you take him to, the way you help in his studies, and the way you tell him what he means to you. This imbues a sense of security in the child that makes him automatically confident. He knows that he has nothing to worry about.

Once your child gets strong and self-confident, he wont need your money, as he will have the aptitude and strength to go out and earn for himself. As the old proverb goes, give a fish to a man and you take care of him for one day. Teach a man how to fish and you take care of him for a lifetime. That is how it must be!

Be a loveable family

The best thing a man can do for his child is to love his mother. Yes. Nothing works better. Children are the worst sufferers should there be any troubles between you and your spouse. These little souls are too sensitive and your yelling at each other cuts deep in his heart and puts lasting scars. A baby is a gift, the most amazing thing nature can gift you - he is your blood. Make sure you take care of him. Love is the most essential thing of all, for in a home where there is love can happiness and prosperity be far behind?

Have faith in your child

As parents, you may have many concerns about the safety and security of your child, but make sure you dont overprotect your child. You cannot be everywhere for him and its he himself who has to learn to make his mark in this world. Faith is the best encouragement. To be trusted is sometimes an even greater compliment that being loved.

Trust your child and give him small tasks to complete. Nothing is as grand for a child than being given the responsibility to handle a task. He feels honored. His self-worth increases. Guide him to complete task successfully and soon he will have his unique way of doing things. Nature gave him the wings of imagination. Dont clip them. Encourage him and let him fly.

Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack of confidence with some students. For more information visit http://www.better-self-esteem.com

Tags: Self Confidence, Wings of Imagination

By Tony Robinson

These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.

Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.

Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your childs development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.

Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each childs progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching.

This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children. Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished. This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students.

Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.

Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.

Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience.

Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.

When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.

Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack of confidence with some students. For more information visit http://www.better-self-esteem.com

Tags: Positive Reinforcement, Self Confidence

By Tony Robinson

These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.

Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.

Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your childs development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.

Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each childs progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching. This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children. Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished.

This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students. Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.

Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.

Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience.

Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.

When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.

Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack of confidence with some students. For more information visit http://www.better-self-esteem.com

Tags: Child Succeed, Self Confidence

By Tim Henry

Generally a preliminary audition is a time when the director, associate directors and casting people can see and hear the actors. Just seeing and hearing your child is an important first impression. Help keep your child calm and focused. If a child is uncomfortable and disagreeable and obviously not happy its a big no-no, and a no-brainer that this child wont be called back.

Your child should have at least one monologue prepared, and, if the show is a musical, a song. Make sure that your child is familiar and comfortable with the monologue and song. It will show.

Keep a positive attitude with your child but remain realistic. Of course not every child will be called back for a second audition for this particular show. However, if your child remains positive and is enthusiastic, and of course is truly talented, he or she will leave a lasting impression on the directors. Often directors remember a stand-out when another opportunity presents itself. Your child could get a surprise call to audition for another part.

Make sure you keep it a light as you can and make sure that this experience is also fun for your child. Auditions take a lot of self-confidence. Being passed over and rejected for a part is not easy, but is a part of the process. A lot of parents say that the skills their children learn in the theatre translate positively into their daily lives.

This article provided courtesy of http://www.acting-school-america.com

Tags: Acting Bug, Self Confidence