By Deanna Mascle

The truth is that both parties have a share in the truth. There is probably too much emphasis on self-esteem today and self-esteem development is crucial. However middle ground can be found between the two groups. The emphasis shouldnt be on building self-esteem but rather helping children learn and grow so they naturally develop a feeling of worth and value.

Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. If you child has high self-esteem she is likely to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in her accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, and offer assistance to others. If your child has low self-esteem he will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for his own shortcomings, feel (or pretend to feel) emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, put down his own talents and abilities, and be easily influenced.

Parents have the most influence on their childs self-esteem. Most parents do not realize how great an impact their words and actions have on their child.

Be Quick With Praise

When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but often dont get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesnt know when you are feeling good about him unless you tell him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and 'replay' these statements to themselves. Make a point of giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day. Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job, working hard, trying a new challenge, overcoming a difficulty or displaying a talent.

Lay It On Thick

Be generous with your praise. Use what is called descriptive praise rather than the general, such as 'good job'. For example, during a recent swimming lesson my son was expected to swim the length of the pool. He was frightened and didnt think he could make it. When he successfully accomplished the goal I told him I was proud of him for two things. One for trying even though he was afraid hed fail and two for pushing himself to reach his goal.

Make Them Talk The Talk

Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is frequently the root cause of depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel about ourselves and those feelings determine how we behave. This is the reason it is important to teach children talk to themselves in a positive manner. You can start them off by asking directed questions.

Avoid Name Calling

While it is often important for parents to be critical, the focus should be on the action you would like to see rather than the child. Rather than calling a child a slob for keeping a messy room focus on the desired action, which is to sort clothes and toys into their proper places. Encourage the child by saying something like 'I know you can get this place ship shape by dinner' and reward them with specific praise 'You did a great job cleaning up your room'.

Always Speak Of Your Child As If They Were Listening

Many parents do a wonderful job of building up their childs self esteem while spending time with the child. Then later they undo all their good work and let the child overhear some negative comments. It is difficult to explain away or undo this damage as you may well not even know when it occurs. Obviously parents need to communicate with each other about their children and adults often need to vent their frustrations. Just make sure when you do so that your child is not able to overhear. Even a child who is apparently concentrating on play will perk his ears when he hears his name.

If you follow these five methods then your childs self esteem will grow.

Deanna Mascle shares more parenting advice in her blog Parents Learn More at http://ParentsLearnMore.com

Tags: Childs Self Esteem, Success of Children

By Aurelia Williams

* Model good self-esteem: Express through your actions and words that you respect yourself. Children are wonderful at imitating what they see and hear. Remember, you are your childs best role model.

* Create positive routines: Young children need routines to help them to feel secure and competent. Try to set a good schedule for bedtime, rest/naps, meals, etc. Try to keep exceptions to the routine to a minimum and explain any necessary changes if/when they occur.

* Allow many opportunities for children to contribute to the family: Give your child a job/chore that only he/she does for the family. Even a small job can have a positive lasting impact on your childs self esteem.

* Talk about the world in positive terms: Even though there is negativity in the world, dont dwell on it with your child. When with your child, be sure to point out the many positive things in the world.

* Spend time with your child: Remember quality is more important than quantity. Even if you spend just 30 minutes with your child one on one — playing games, taking walks, having long bedtime chats, or just snuggling in front of the TV, spending time with your child shows them that you value their company.

* Give your child choices: Giving your child choices between a reasonable set of options that are already predetermined by you will make them feel empowered.

Aurelia Williams is the host of Parenting My Teen Podcast and is also the owner of Real Life Solutions, a free resource site for moms.

Tags: Childs Self Esteem, Strategies to Help Boost

By ElmerFizz

Of course theres not much that can be done about rejection but there are a few things you can do that may curtail the teasing or at least lessen the hurt caused by others…

Talk to their teacher, school principal, or camp director: Although there are a few children who are simply insensitive by nature, many just dont stop to think about the impact that their behavior may have on others. By making your concerns known and suggesting that they point out to the guilty children the tremendous pain thats being caused and the long-term effects of teasing; some of them may have a change of heart and a few may even befriend the disabled child.

Talk to the parents of the guilty child: They may not be aware that their child has been teasing your child and may be ashamed that theyve been acting this way. They probably havent raised their child to be a bully and will be eager to put a stop to it right away.

Build your childs self esteem: As the parent of a disabled child you may be prone to overprotect them. If so, try to stop. Allow them to do what theyre capable of on their own–even if they make mistakes–and only help out when its truly necessary.

Remind them often how much loved and wanted. Also of great importance: let them know that you LIKE them as a person and enjoy having them around!

If a child has a healthy view of him or herself in spite of being disabled, the teasing wont have near as much impact on them. Sure it will still be painful but it wont be devastating.

Help them find ways to keep busy: A disabled child may tend to get bored since they cant always do what other children can. Boredom leaves the mind open to replaying painful events so you want to help them avoid this as much as possible.

Occasionally introduce new activities for them to try. Of course a great many wont hold any interest for them but eventually theyll find something intriguing that might even become a passionate hobby!

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Tags: Childs Self Esteem, Disabled Child