By Dave Angel

It is hard enough for parents of the child with Aspergers to understand why their child has this syndrome, much less why they behave the way they do. Teach siblings about Aspergers Syndrome to the extent that they are able to understand. Let them know that it is okay to be frustrated with their sibling who is affected, but it wont help their relationship. Let siblings know what that child needs, again to the extent that they can understand and provide as normal of an environment as possible. Try to make this as concrete as possible with real life examples of what you mean that they can follow and relate to. Obviously some family dynamics can make this tricky - but try to make some special parent-child time with the non-Aspergers sibling at least weekly. In order to do this you may need to look to your family, friends or local social services to offer the child with Aspergers somewhere to go for some respite. Whilst you can then do some activity with their sibling. This may mean staying in and watching a video or just chilling out in peace. Or it could involve a set activity like swimming, the cinema, walking, shopping etc. Whatever it is try to make it child-focussed so that your child gets to determine what you do (within reason!)

It is often tempting to coddle the child with developmental disabilities, like Aspergers Syndrome, and expect the other children to do so as well. But, the child with Aspergers Syndrome will benefit and learn social skills from their siblings as well, and they should be entitled to a reasonable amount of sibling rivalry as well as any other child. You dont want to deny the child with Aspergers the typical childhood, which includes fighting over toys and television shows. These formative sibling relationships and experiences have a major effect on children as they grow up (regardless of Aspergers).

So to summarise siblings need to know enough about their brother or sisters issues to give them an understanding at their level. They also need to know that it is OK to feel some negative emotions at times to their sibling, and where ever possible they need a little 'special' time with you on their own.

Dave Angel is a social worker with families who have children on the Autistic Spectrum and is the author of a new e-book that answers the 46 most asked questions by parents of children with Aspergers. To claim your free 7 day Mini-Course for parents of children with Aspergers Syndrome, visit http://www.parentingaspergers.com today.

By Brooke Schuman

A new baby to an older sibling can be a nightmare and he/she can act out. The older sibling might feel less loved like they are not the favorite anymore, or feel lonely and jealous because the new baby gets all the attention that he/she used to get before the baby. So here are some tips to make this transition easier for the whole family.

Explain that he is the older sibling and you the parent need help in raising this little baby. Children love to help and will be happy that you are including him/her.

Have your child go and get diapers and clothes for you they love to help out.

Have your baby help you put the baby to sleep by reading to the baby and singing little songs.

If possible rock them both at the same time so the older one doesn't feel left out.

Spend separate alone time with the older sibling at least once a day so they still feel important.

Hang the older siblings drawings and other things child has done on the refrigerator, tell him/her how proud you are of them and how special they are to you.

Keep visitors down to a minimum, for the older child's sake. The visitors came to see the new baby, and chances are they won't pay attention to the older child making the older sibling feel less important.

Just remember to include the older sibling and let him/her know you are proud of them, and that they are special, and you love them. Good Luck with this new and exciting transition.

http://baby.ideas-from.us

http://baby.ideas-from.us/blog

By James Kronefield

Family relationships are critical to the physical, mental, and social health of growing children. Family relationships are so important because they affect many aspects of our lives. Family relationships are strengthened when members relate to one another in order to solve problems, rather than seek to control other. Family relationships are often strained when there is insufficient income for the family. Family relationships are often portrayed as being supportive and an environment for growth yet not everyone is capable of providing the kinds of physical, emotional or mental support we need.

Parenting

Every child deserves to be wanted, loved, and valued for who he is rather than as a stopgap or replacement for a child one dreams of parenting. Parenting styles have a definite impact on children. The authoritative style of parenting fosters open communication and problem solving between parents and their children. In contrast, overbearing parenting may produce fearful and dependent children. Permissive parenting may result in rebellious children. And indifferent parenting may render hostile and delinquent children.

Health

Healthy families communicate their thoughts and feelings in a clear and direct manner. Effective communication is an important characteristic of strong, healthy families. Just as effective communication is almost always found in strong, healthy families, poor communication is usually found in unhealthy family relationships. Researchers agree that clear, open, and frequent communication is a basic characteristic of a strong, healthy family. Families that communicate in healthy ways are more capable of problem solving and tend to be more satisfied with their relationships.

Healthy family relationships teach children not only to develop trust and to be trustworthy, but that they are a part of something larger than themselves. Healthy relationships are those through which you are able to care for yourself physically and emotionally, communicate openly, be respected and respect the other person, resolve conflict and learn to compromise. Neither parents nor their children should be in charge all of the time; such a degree of control leads to unhealthy power struggles within the family.

Family relationships are an important part of our lives, from birth, to weddings, to our old age. Marital and family researchers have discovered that unhappy family relationships are often the result of negative communication patterns. Our family relationships are some of the most important (and frequently difficult) relationships in our lives. People who cultivate extended family relationships are at an advantage emotionally and are often more successful in their personal lives. Families and family relationships are among the basic blessings and challenges of human life.

Do you want to make your family relationships stronger? Learn how at http://familylivingtoday.com/

By Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Two siblings, ages three and five are bickering over the toys. The parent admonishes the younger child, 'You are almost four, now share.' The older child next hits the younger child and the parent shouts, 'Dont hit… you have to love your little sister/brother.' The stage is set for the parent to develop a rivalry between the children with the toys viewed as a valuable and limited resource. What is sought though, is sibling harmony, not rivalry.

Children go through developmental stages where at one stage they are almost incapable of sharing, to the next stage, when they finally develop an ability to share. In developmental terms these stages are described as parallel play and cooperative play.

Parallel play is most common in two to three year olds. The main feature of parallel play is that the child tends to play alone, even though the child may be with other children. For instance, give a two to three year old a ball and they will happily roll it around by themselves but will likely be unable to enjoy rolling it back and forth with another child.

Cooperative play comes around four years of age and is usually well developed in the five year old child. Give these children a ball and they can happily roll it between themselves and take turns using it.

Thus pre-school siblings who are close in age may find themselves in conflict. When at play, the younger will have difficulty sharing and because of this the elder may become upset. The issue isnt love or rivalry though. The issue is one where each child is at a different developmental level. Placing the problem into a context of sibling rivalry only creates a problem where it doesnt have to exist.

The solution is to explain to the older child that the younger hasnt yet learned to share. The older child can be commended for having learned to share and can also be commended for having patience with the younger sibling until the skill of sharing has been learned. Helping the elder sibling place the issue in developmental terms helps release bad feelings the older child may have been harbouring. Their sibling is no longer seen as bad, just younger. Further, the older sibling can be encouraged to share their toys with their younger sibling to help teach or role model how to share. Now, instead of developing sibling rivalry, the parent encourages cooperation and understanding in the older sibling, thus helping to develop empathy and caring.

As for the younger child, this child can be encouraged by the parent to share and take turns with the toys. Depending on the age of the younger child, it may be necessary for the parent to take the toy away and give it to the older child to have a turn. It is important that the parent take this action and not the older child. The parent has legitimate authority to make the decision whereas the older child does not. Further, in taking the toy from the younger, the parent should tell the child, 'Time to share… Its your brothers or sisters turn.' Thus, play or use of the toy is a parental decision and not something the younger child can hold against the older child.

As both children grow and develop, both will achieve cooperative play. Because the parent will have encouraged empathy and cooperation in the older child, both may now come to share well between themselves without parental intervention. The childrens relationship will remain intact. This is sibling harmony and the way to a lifelong mutually supportive sibling relationship.

Assume your children love each other… Now just teach them how to get along. Understanding developmental differences is the first step towards sibling harmony.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW (905) 628-4847 gary@yoursocialworker.com www.yoursocialworker.com Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.

By Rachel Evans

First and foremost, it is important to educate your children about autism. Starting from a young age, your children who are not diagnosed with the disease should learn that their brother or sister has a different understanding of the world. This is especially important because when you and your spouse pass away, your other children will most likely have power-of-attorney over their autistic siblings, even if they do not have direct responsibility for them on a day to day basis. It may be beneficial to explain this to them as they mature, but even as a child, the sense of responsibility for a sibling who needs help can create more understanding. Get you child involved with taking care of your autistic child by learning fun educational games to play together or helping with everyday tasks such as dressing and eating.

However, remember that your non-autistic child needs plenty of care and attention as well. Plan family outing which all of your children can enjoy, but also treat your non-autistic children to other events as well. They may feel resentful because they cannot do all of the things with their family that a typical child and his or her family can do, so try to counteract this with other events. For example, perhaps your family cannot travel to the beach because your autistic child cant handle the stress of the sand, water, and crowds. Instead, plan a family trip to a less-crowded lake destination or, if you live close enough, plan a day trip to the beach while your autistic child visits with grandma or does another activity.

Remember that your non-autistic children need attention at other points in the day, not just every once in awhile for special events. Schedule some time every day to provide these children with your undivided attention. Think of this kind of sibling rivalry as similar to the rivalry that occurs when a new child is born. Although the new baby needs your attention the most, you cannot ignore your other children. The same is true when you have an autistic child.

Lastly, take advantage of programs and organizations aimed at helping families through difficult situations. Many groups are formed specifically for siblings of autistic children to help them cope with the stress that this causes in their lives. If your child does not enjoy these groups, do not force him or her to go, but usually these meetings are fun and inspiring.

Consider joining a family counselling group. This not only helps parents deal with the stress of raising an autistic child, but also helps children, both autistic and non-autistic, learn to interact peacefully with one another. When there is a level of understanding between children and between a child and his or her parents, the family can work together to help their autistic member, as well as help one another be successful in life.

Rachel Evans has an interest in Autism. For further information on Autism please visit Autism or Autism Symptoms

By Hege Crowton

Naturally there are no guarantees on how your older child will react when you bring your newborn back home and everything might turn out to be just fine. You can be among the lucky ones whos older child shows nothing but pride, love, joy and excitement over having a younger sibling. He or she can end up being the greatest helper around the house and with the baby.

Unfortunately things does not always turn out this way and more often than not you will see a lot of rivalry and jealousy come from the older child. This is not a very pleasant experience for anyone in the household and believe it or not it can be very hard on the older child who probably feel left out and less loved than before, not understanding that this is not the case.

In order to try and prevent this situation from happening some adjustment and preparing need to be started already early in your pregnancy. Something that is very important is to be open and honest with your child, include him/her in everything going on and explain what is about to happen. Make your child feel important and let him know that you cant do this without his help.

By doing this you will make him or her feel very important and from the beginning this new baby will be a part of his/her new responsibility. Let your child know what will be the things that you expect, for example; check on the baby when it is sleeping, help feed the baby, help give the baby baths and since he/she is the oldest he has to teach the baby things because a baby knows nothing.

If you are able to convey these responsibilities to your child you will most likely find 'a child on a mission' after the baby is born. Despite all of these new chores there is another thing that needs to be done every day, the most important thing of all, reassure your oldest child that you love him/her just the same as before maybe even more for being such a great brother/sister. Always include your oldest child, never push him/her away and always make sure to spend quality time with him/her alone.

These are some great ways to include your child and prepare him/her for the arrival of the new baby and it may even help prevent some of the jealousy which often occurs with the birth of a new baby. The earlier you start including your child the better, you can even bring your child along for your doctors appointments where he or she can meet the doctor and see what is actually is going on.

Visiting mom in the hospital after the baby is born is also a very good thing, it prepares the child for the homecoming and that mom will not be coming back alone. The child now needs to get ready for his/her responsibilities as the older sibling. As long as they know they are loved and know they are big enough to help out you might have hardly any problems at all when it comes to jealousy and rivalry from your older child.

Hege Crowton is an established expert copywriter. She is known for doing in-depth research before writing her articles. www.Ispjv.com www.Submitcontent.com Copyright 2005 ParentingContent.com

By Debbie Cluff

There are basic reasons behind this. It increases childrens vocabulary, stimulates the imagination, teaches them how to listen, helps improve self-esteem and encourages positive social interaction. These are a few basic principals that need to be taught in the home in order to gain ideal educational goals. Reading stories to children encourages them to read and helps develop emotions and intelligence. Reading to children in the early stages of their learning process, helps to prepare them for kindergarten and school experiences in the future (http://www.beyond-words.org/reading_importance.htm). Reading with a child is the one of the most important projects a parent can do to better his educational success.

Reading together can bring a closeness and sense of security between the parent and child. Dr. Bruce Perry explains, 'The most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate.. Within this inner circle of intimate relationships, we are bonded to each other with 'emotional glue' — bonded with love' (http://teacher.scholastic.com/professional/bruceperry/bonding.htm). Parents can hold their child and share a special moment when reading to them. This time can give the child a sense of love and importance in their parents life. Reading can help form an attachment to their parental figure.

The National Assessment of English Reading tested around eight thousand first and fifth class students at schools around the country. Here is what the tests found in regards to the importance of reading in the home. 'The study found that children who are read to before starting school perform better than average' (http://www.theepochtimes.com/news/6-2-4/37699.html). All these explanations prove that reading in the home is as important as feeding a child. Parents need to feed their childrens education and can do it simply by sitting down with their child for 20 minuts a day and read a book to them. If this cant be done, the parent could have the child read to by a close sibling or in the extreme, online tutoring.

Reading is so important in the home and really sets the basis for the educational success of a child. Reading brings closeness to a family and encourages the building of self-esteem which will last into adulthood. Why would the National Network for Child Care bother with teaching parents about the importance of reading with their child? Simple, reading is that important to care about.

Debbie Cluff is the mother of 3 and owner of two internet companies, Links for Learning, www.links-for-learning.com and Just For Emma, www.justforemma.com. She has her B.A. in Liberal Studies with a mulitple subject credential and her Masters In Education. She is currently in the preschool classroom setting

By Destry Maycock, MSW

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock has over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Visit http://www.parentingstore.com to see the latest parenting programs.

By Destry Maycock

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock, MSW has had over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing tools that help parents with the difficult but rewarding duty of raising children. His most recent creations can be found at http://www.parentingstore.com

By Sarah K. Jenkins

The obvious victim of ADD is the child it affects. Being accustomed to negativity, these children usually suffer from very low self-esteem. Although they want to behave well, they have impulsive actions that typically result in constant punishment. Parents and teachers of an ADD child often are not aware or do not accept that the child suffers from a disorder and they are not always acting on a conscience level. The child, after being reprimanded and not being able to control their actions, is left feeling as though they will never be adequate or meet everyone elses expectations.

The parents of an ADD child suffer from incredible frustration and doubt of their parenting skills. Often ridiculed by teachers, family members, and other acquaintances, they are often viewed as being the cause of their childs behavior, as though lack of discipline is the root cause of their childs actions. Attention Deficit Disorder sometimes places a strain on the parents marital relationship as well, as parents blame each other for being overly lenient or harsh in their rearing habits. This can lead to many arguments and disagreements that prove to be difficult on spouses.

An often forgotten casualty of Attention Deficit Disorder is the siblings of a child with ADD. Often not apparent, siblings in this situation often experience similar frustration and anxiety as the parents and child with ADD. Jealously sometimes plays a factor in their feelings as their sibling requires so much more attention, even if it is negative in nature. Also, these children often get the brunt of their siblings impulsive actions, including aggressive behavior typical of ADD. These children may also find themselves being categorized in school and other social environments because of their siblings behavior, which can also have a negative connotation.

In addition to immediate family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins may also be affected when a child has ADD. Depending on the closeness of the family, behavior outbursts and discipline issues may be a factor dealt with on various levels. In extreme cases, ADD may actually cause some familial relationships to be severed.

Sarah is an acclaimed writer on medical matters, and has written extensively on the subjects of Attention Deficit Disorder, Bird Flu and Crohns Disease. For more of her articles, go to http://www.imedicalvillage.com now. Click here now and re

By Gabriel Adams

If you cause harm to your child while they are growing up, it can cause serious psychological and physical damage for the rest of their lives. On the flip side if you raise them correctly in a healthy, happy home, they can reap benefits for a lifetime. Some of these lifelong benefits include having confidence in themselves, being a productive member of society, and also the ability to have healthy relationships with other people.

If you praise your child and shower them with love when you are raising them, it will give them confidence in themselves. Confidence can lead to many benefits in society from getting good grades, to making friends, to getting a good job. If your child does not have confidence in themselves, they might enter into a deep depression, or become a plague on society.

A healthy, happy home can also lead your child to become a productive member of society, because they will have learned the value of hard work and determination. These two values are very important in the development of a child into an adult. The final lifelong benefit of a healthy, happy home is the ability of your child to build healthy relationships throughout their lives.

If you want your child to be truly happy, then they need to know how to make friends with other people, and hopefully fall in love and get married some day. All parents should consider these benefits when they are raising their children, and make sure to put their childs interests before anything else.

Visit Psychotherapy for Adults, Adolescents and Couples Chapel Hill, NC and Coaching and Consulting.

By Michael Webb

There are specific parenting class offerings for parents of toddlers. This includes the 'terrible twos' and three year olds. By this time, the parent may be having difficulty with an out of control child and may need to learn aspects of disciplining the child that dont involve hitting or spanking the child. They may also wish to learn about things like helping their child socialize and toilet training. Parents may have other children and are worried about sibling rivalry. They may have a new baby on the way and may be trying to establish a calmer household with more than one child in it.

School districts will offer a parenting class for parents of school age children. This may be geared toward helping the child maintain friendships in school, helping children overcome learning disabilities and sibling rivalry. Children have occasional discipline issues as well, which can be handled in this type of parenting class.

An often overlooked type of parenting class is that of parenting teens. Children from ages 13-18 will change a lot during these years. They will test the limits of the parents and may get involved in sexual behaviors, drugs, alcohol or smoking. Parents of teens need to know that they arent alone in dealing with a difficult teen. They may need advice on how to set limits with a teen who is gradually growing into adulthood.

Parents may take a parenting class because they want to improve their abilities as a parent. They may also be ordered by child protective services or the court because the parent has had difficulties with the law or with child abuse issues. These classes are designed to help the parent cope with going back to parenting after the legal system says its okay for the family to be reunited. Parents who go to these kinds of parenting classes often are not happy going to them but must go to them before they can get their children back.

Couples may take a parenting class prior to adopting a child. As they did not know the child from the moment of its birth, they may choose to or be asked to take classes that help them be the best kind of parent they can be. In some cases, there are parenting classes for parents whose children are diabetic or parents whose children are autistic. These kinds of classes are highly specialized and bring together a group of parents who definitely have something in common. Such parents can also get together on a parenting forum to discuss issues even after the classes are over with.

Parenting Class brings you the latest news on parenting class. Parenting class is gaining in popularity, so check out our latest information page at www.parentingknowledge.com

By ian Williamson

Many children are being left on their own, also known as 'latchkey children', because more and more families need two bread-winners, just to be able to live comfortably. Children are usually told to go directly home after school, until their parents return from work, in turn promoting the lack of social skills in children.

Education equips children for every day life in a world that, we, as grown-ups no longer understand because the technological and intellectual levels of teaching have changed. Children now need different skills, often taught in a different way from the way their parents learned, isolating the children and parents from one another through differences in their knowledge.

Loneliness can occur during any disruptions within the family such as divorce, separation, moving to another town, the loss of a close relationship and the dissatisfaction of an existing relationship. Adapting to any changes may be hardest on the children, because if there was a time in which they needed anyone, it is now. Unfortunately, the parents do not seem to have time to spend with the children as they are adjusting to the change themselves.

Society has encouraged loneliness within many individuals by the process of classifying people into groups on the basis of common attributes, this process is known as social categorization. For example, society assumes that a person who is attractive also has desirable personality characteristics, this type of bias is known as ' the what is beautiful is good stereotype.' These stereotypes leave young adults with the feeling of rejection, leading to loneliness, because they do not have what it takes to be popular.

During adolescents the teenager is very self-conscious and aware of how they are perceived by others. The media elaborates on statements such as, 'the thin look is in.' This leads the teenager to try and change into what they are not, only satisfying the expectations of society.

Society often assumes that the relationship between the elderly and being feeble are correlated. Many people often stereotype the elderly as being unable to take care of themselves and that they are a burden on society until they die. Some elderly may assume that this is the way in which they are expected to behave in society, this causes them to be depressed and lonely.

Through the years, adults just do not have time for their parents anymore and so they place them in Nursing Homes to be cared for by others. The sad thing is that many do not return to visit with their parents.

For more Relationships Articles by Ian Williamson please visit http://www.real-articles.com/Category/Relationships/162

By Pat Brill

Have you ever gotten mad at your child? Be honest. No one can answer that question with a 'no' and really mean it. When youve gotten angry, have you said things you didnt necessarily mean? Things that may have been hurtful and degrading?

Lets face it - its not uncommon to say things that you dont really mean in the heat of an argument. The problem is that when you say these things to your children, it really hits home and makes an impact.

#1 - Words Can Hurt Lets say youre fighting with your brother or sister. One thing leads to another and before you know it youre calling your sibling a not-so-nice name and storming out of the room. No big deal, right? After all, siblings fight and sooner or later you both get over it.

Now change the scenario and instead of you fighting with a sibling, its you fighting with your child. One thing leads to another and that not-so-nice name is directed at your child. Think it wont leave a permanent emotional scar? Guess again.

#2 - Your Opinion Makes an Impression As a parent, each and every thing you say to your child about personality, character and intellect really does affect the way your child views themselves as a person. If you call your child dumb, hes really going to think hes dumb. If you call her ignorant, shes really going to think shes ignorant. The harm may not be apparent on the surface, but deep down inside youre planting the seeds of self-doubt and low self esteem in the character of your child.

Its human nature for a child to look to their parent for guidance. If a parent is constantly criticizing a child, that child is going to suffer because of it. Does that mean you should be singing their praises even when theyve done something wrong? Absolutely not! But remember - its not what you say, its how you say it.

#3 - Outbursts Dont Teach Proper Communication or Self Control You can tell your child that youre disappointed in their behavior without calling them a name or degrading them as a person. If youre angry with your child, dont let a word fall from your mouth without first considering how its going to sound when he or she hears it. If it sounds like a personal attack, rethink the way youre approaching it and word your thoughts differently. If you want your child to grow up knowing how to properly communicate and show their disappointment or displeasure, you need to be the one to set the example.

By communicating with your child in a calm, rational and non-confrontational manner, youll be able to get your point across without doing any damage to the emotional development of your son or daughter.

Pat Brill is co-founder of http://www.SilkBow.com which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood. SilkBow is the perfect place for the perfect gift. To contact Pat, email her at pat@silkbow.com

By Kent Pinkerton

It can be difficult on all family members to have a teen move to a boarding facility. As a result, many parents choose to take their troubled teen to an alternative school. In these day schools, the troubled teen stays in a highly structured school during the day and then returns home at night. This may be a viable alternative for teens who are just beginning to spiral, but alternative day schools are not appropriate for teens who have serious behavioral problems that are exacerbated by relationships with peers. Often, these teens will make progress during the day but slide back into negative behaviors when they visit with friends in the evenings.

Because of this, many parents find that specialty boarding schools are a better option. There are many types of specialty boarding schools available, including Christian, military, and therapeutic boarding schools.

Regardless of the type, all specialty boarding schools are highly structured facilities designed to help troubled teens who are struggling with serious issues and who need round-the-clock supervision. An average stay of three to six months, or even a year or more, is not uncommon to ensure a lasting change in behavior. Specialty boarding schools typically offer a variety of programs to help troubled teens, including academics, athletics, personal development courses, emotional growth sessions, and daily responsibilities and duties.

Christian boarding schools address the needs of troubled teens using a Christian-based philosophy. There are also boarding schools that are do not identify themselves as Christian but still utilize the underlying values and principles of Judeo-Christian religions such as respect, honesty, hard work to help troubled teens.

While military schools can help teens with mild problems or who need more discipline and structure, they are not designed to provide help with serious problems. In fact, attending military school is often considered a privilege, and students are usually required to have good grades and references before they will be admitted. Even if a troubled teen is admitted, they typically fail to give him or her useful tools for change and emotional growth.

Therapeutic boarding schools and treatment programs are recommended for troubled teens who are considered extreme cases where therapy is needed. These schools can cost more, but because they provided structure with a therapeutic component, including group sessions, individual therapy sessions, or a combination of both, the results are usually better over time.

Troubled Teens Info provides detailed information on schools, programs, camps, and homes for troubled teens. Troubled Teens Info is the sister site of Relationships Web.

By Kent Pinkerton

Not all parents subscribe to the notion of "tough love," which is used so extensively in many troubled teen programs. Some parents want their children close by and want to avoid placing their troubled teen into an environment that may build even more resentment and anger. For these parents and troubled teens, behavior modification programs are a good starting point. In behavior modification programs, appropriate behavior is reinforced and rewarded and inappropriate behavior is confronted and redirected, with consequences given.

This may be as simple as drawing up a contract with a teen that outlines the rules for the household and identifies the consequences ahead of time if the rules are broken. The rules and consequences must be fair and consistently administered by both parents. A contract is a viable option for teens who are just beginning to misbehave due to a lack of structure in the home for routines, chores and expected behaviors.

For troubled teens who need assistance over and above what their parents can give, outpatient therapy programs may be a viable option, especially for teens who are already committed to recovery. These programs offer a variety of treatment options, including individual and/or group counseling, family counseling, or substance abuse programs. Although outpatient programs can be very beneficial, they are usually relatively short-term, and are not designed for teens with severe emotional or psychiatric problems.

Another option is to enroll a troubled teen in a day treatment program. This type of program is designed for teens who were unsuccessful in an outpatient setting. These teens often struggle with emotional and psychological issues, and are an option for troubled teens who need intensive therapeutic support but who do not yet require a residential environment.

Troubled Teens Info provides detailed information on schools, programs, camps, and homes for troubled teens. Troubled Teens Info is the sister site of Relationships Web.

By Li Ming Wong

Borderline personality disorder and bipolar are often mistaken as being the same thing. They are also often misdiagnosed, one for the other. This is because the symptoms for both illnesses are startlingly similar.

Borderline personality disorder is actually less common and less known than bipolar. Borderline personality disorder accounts for only about twenty percent of hospitalizations for mental illness each year, while bipolar accounts for about fifty percent of hospitalizations. Borderline personality disorder is most common in young women, whereas bipolar is equally common in both men and women, as well as all age groups.

Borderline personality disorder and bipolar patients both experience mood swings that may involve violent outbursts, depression, or anxiety. However, while bipolar patients typically cycle through these moods over a period of weeks or months, borderline personality disorder patients may have bursts of these moods lasting only a few hours or a day.

Borderline personality disorder patients also undergo periods of having no idea who they are in terms of personality, likes, dislikes, and preferences. They may change long term goals frequently, and have trouble sticking to any one activity. Acting with impulsiveness, going on major unaffordable shopping sprees, excessive eating, or engaging in risky sexual relationships can also be experienced. These are also symptoms of mania in bipolar patients.

Borderline personality disorder patients may also undergo periods of worthlessness, feeling mistreated or misunderstood, and emptiness. These symptoms coincide with symptoms of depression in bipolar patients.

Another symptom of borderline personality disorder involves how they deal with relationships. Relationships are often viewed in extremes. Either the patient is totally in love or hates with a passion. A patient may be completely in love one minute, then hate someone totally due to a small conflict or situation. Fears of abandonment often lead to suicide threats, rejection, and depression in the patient. These relationship issues can also be found in bipolar patients.

Treatments of borderline personality disorder and bipolar are also similar. A combination of therapy and medication is typically preferred by the psychiatrist. Cognitive behavioral therapy, while successfully implemented with bipolar patients, was originally developed for use with borderline personality disorder. Various medications can also be prescribed for either mental illness with successful results.

Like bipolar disorder, little is known about the actual causes of borderline personality disorder. There is a lot of controversy about genetics versus environment in this area. However, it appears through research that, while bipolar is definitely hereditary and biological in nature, borderline personality disorder is more likely to be a result of environment and situational stimuli.

As you can see, many similarities exist between bipolar and borderline personality disorder. It can often be quite difficult to distinguish one illness from the other, even for doctors and psychologists. If you suffer any of the symptoms discussed here, it is important to obtain the assistance and diagnosis of a licensed professional for appropriate diagnosis and treatment of your symptoms. You should never attempt self diagnosis and treatment for symptoms such as those associated with bipolar and borderline personality disorder without the help of a psychiatrist or psychologist. Doing so may cause your symptoms to worsen, and make treatment less successful in the future.

To learn more, check out Bipolar Disabilities Guide.

By Nicole Munoz

Spending quality family time together is one of the best things you can do for your children. In today's fast paced society, it is often hard to find time for everyone to come together for fun family activities, but even simple events that only take a few minutes can create lasting childhood memories. Many fun family activities can quickly become cherished family traditions. Try these family fun suggestions to build strong, loving family bonds.

1. Play a game. Traditional board games, jigsaw puzzles, and even silly childhood games are fun activities families can enjoy together. Have a Scrabble tournament or a tic-tac-toe championship match. Play an outdoor game of Duck, Duck, Goose or hide a straw inside and play "hot or cold" until someone finds it. Games are a great way to have quality family fun and quick games only take a few minutes!

2. Make a family treasure. Bring everyone together to create something personal that tells about your family. Make a totem pole from a variety of items to represent each family member or work together to make a family banner. Create a coat of arms for your family using everyone's input. Build a time capsule together, create a family scrapbook for a special event, or make trading cards together as a family. These memories will create more fun family activities when you share them in the future!

3. Communicate. Communication is one of the most important keys to a successful relationship. Make a family mailbox together to encourage more communication between family members. You can decorate a shoebox together or create a more elaborate mailbox. Use it to leave messages and notes of encouragement to one another. To help family members stay more informed with one another, create a family newsletter together. Give everyone a section to write and pair younger children with a parent or older sibling. Once a month or each week, print up a family newsletter to tell about important dates for games or recitals, special achievements, and anything else your family can think of to include!

4. Eat together. Meal time is a great way to spend quality family time and breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so set aside a special time each week for a family breakfast. Go out to a restaurant, buffet, or bagel shop for a special breakfast treat or pack some muffins and fruit with a blanket and enjoy a family breakfast picnic at the park or in the backyard!

5. Take a family outing. Set aside a day each month for fun family activities away from home. Take an educational outing to the zoo or a museum or plan a hike at a local state park. Go for a drive through the country, see a movie, or go out for ice cream. There are all types of fun things families can do together! To create more memories, give everyone a disposable camera and make a photo journal together.

Sharing in fun family activities can strengthen family ties and build healthy, longlasting relationships. Quality family time also boosts children's self esteem and encourages healthy social development. Make time for fun family activities in your house on a regular basis.

For more tips and information about Baby Einstein Collection, check out http: http://www.thekidstoystore.com.

By Kent Pinkerton

Parents looking for a quick fix usually choose troubled teen camps. There are two types of teen camps: boot camps and summer or wilderness camps. They usually last from one to six weeks, and while teens may shows signs of improvement for days or even weeks after coming home, they often revert back to old behaviors after the fear of authority disappears.

Boot camps are military-style facilities that use discipline, military exercises, rigorous physical training, and fear of authority to transform a troubled teen into a "good soldier" who follows rules. Unfortunately, most boot camps do not address underlying emotional or behavioral problems. Without therapy or behavior modification, long-term effectiveness is limited. If parents do chose to send their troubled teen to a boot camp, the best chance for long-term success is to follow it with a treatment program.

Wilderness camps are usually seen as an alternative to boot camps. Instead of the aggressive approach that boot camps tend to use, wilderness camps are more likely to be behavior modification programs with a component of the program held outdoors. They remove urban distractions so troubled teens can reconnect accept responsibility for their choices. Because these wilderness camps are generally held in summer, they may not include an academic component. There are a few that do, though, which is especially important for teens who have fallen behind during the school year.

The biggest benefit to wilderness camps as opposed to boot camps is that they often provide substance abuse treatment for troubled teens. Again, because wilderness camps usually only last for one to six weeks, the best chance for long-term success is to follow it with a treatment program. This will supplement and reinforce the treatment teens receive at camp.

Troubled Teens Info provides detailed information on schools, programs, camps, and homes for troubled teens. Troubled Teens Info is the sister site of Relationships Web.

By Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW Effects of Exposure to Domestic Violence From Childhood to Adult Life

One of the many problems for children exposed to domestic violence, is that for some, it comes to be included amongst their own interpersonal management strategies.

Children exposed to domestic violence learn the use of violence as a strategy to mediate their needs and wants. They see the violence between their parents and how in many cases the violence advances the preferred outcome of the aggressor.

The violence comes in many forms visible to children. It may be through verbally abusive and demeaning language. It could be verbal threats of violence or physical gestures to intimate violence and thus intimidate. The violence may include throwing of objects and destruction of objects and in more extreme forms, it can include physical assault ranging from pushing, shoving and slapping to punching, kicking and strangulation. In the most physically dangerous of forms the violence can include the use of weapons. In so many cases, the violence is meant to assert one's will over the will of another.

There tends to be gender differences with regard to children exposed to domestic violence. Boys are at greater risk of learning that violence gets them what they want. Further, while relying on violence, there tends to be less reliance on verbal skills and hence these same boys are at risk of inadequate verbal relational skills such as dialogue and discussion to mediate their needs. Girls are at risk of learning that violence is normal and as a result can be more apt to accept violence within their relationships.

In terms of child and adult development then, childhood exposure to violence can rear its head in several ways. Within the school settings, both boys and girls may be apt to use violence to get their way. Boys tend to use overt violent behaviour such as bullying, intimidation and physical aggression whereas girls tend to use more covert behaviour such as excluding others from their group and malicious gossip. Within adult life, men exposed to domestic violence in childhood are more apt to use violence in intimate relationships than other men who were not exposed to domestic violence in childhood. Similarly, women who as children were exposed to domestic violence are more apt to tolerate violence from intimate partners.

For both men and women exposed to domestic violence in childhood, there is also a concern of desensitization when it comes to recognizing domestic violence in adulthood. In other words, they may only recognize certain behaviour as violent when it reaches a threshold near their childhood experience. This means that while they may resist or object to violent behaviour as experienced in childhood, they still may engage in, and/or tolerate violent behaviour, not recognizing it as such, because it is less than experienced when young. The problem here is that no amount of violence is acceptable and all violence carries consequences. So even if the adult domestic violence is less than experienced in childhood, intimate relationships will still be problematic and exposure to the children will still be problematic.

If you were exposed to domestic violence in childhood, consider discussing your experience with a counsellor knowledgeable in these matters. In discussing your childhood experiences it could be further helpful to explore current relationships and strategies for getting along and resolving differences. Exposure to domestic violence from childhood can have long-reaching consequences to adulthood. Hence we look to protect children in the present from such exposure to limit risks of their direct and immediate harm as well as their future intimate life.
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW www.yoursocialworker.com
(905) 628-4847
gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.