By Nocita Carter

1) Consider charging your adult child rent while they are staying with you once they have secured a job. This will teach your adult child responsibility and how to manage their personal finances. Theyll need this experience in the future when they have their own apartment or home.

2) If you dont want to charge your adult child rent or dont believe their financially able to pay rent, consider having them pay part or all of a utility bill which would include the electric, gas or cable bill.

3) If your adult child wants to use your telephone, make sure they have their own telephone line or cell phone that they are responsible for paying the bill. This will eliminate future headaches for you later, if your phone bill increases to an astronomical amount, due to your adult child living in your home.

4) Consider having your adult child purchase their own food or contribute to the purchase. You may find that your food bill may increase substantially when your adult child moves in. So, in order to alleviate problems with the potential added cost, have your adult child contribute to the cost or get their own food. Remember youre trying to teach them responsibility and how to manage their own personal finances. So this is a way to do this!

5) Set ground rules for your adult child prior to them moving into your home. Remember, the bottom line is, this is your home and you want to be comfortable while you adult child is living with you. Make sure you make clear whether or not your adult child can have a boyfriend or girlfriend stay overnight in your home, responsibility for certain household chores and any additional ground rules you will want to discuss with your adult child. This will hopefully alleviate problems in the future!

6) You may want to consider setting a time frame for how long your adult child can live with you. That is if you want them to eventually get out on their own and become self sufficient. By doing this, your adult child will continue to learn responsibility and full independence by getting a place of their own!

Its okay to help your adult child by letting them live with you. However, you dont want them to be dependant on you forever! You want them to get themselves financially secure to become self sufficient and an independent adult, being able to take care of themselves in their own place! After all, youve raised them to carry their own torch so they can be prepared when youre no longer able to help them!

Nocita Carter is a writer that designs websites providing informative tips at finance tips http://www.personal-finance-tips-for-you.com & dating tips http://www.mydating-tips.com

Tags: Adult Child, Back Home

By Jerry Stearns

When adult children constantly ask their parents for money even after they have moved out on their own, the habit can be an indication that the child was never fully taught the importance of money management. They may not know how to make their own paycheck stretch properly for instance, or they may not understand the concept of how quickly money can disappear when you spend a few dollars here and a few dollars there. The adult child may also not understand the concept of credit accounts and cards, and if this is the case they are headed for some serious financial trouble in their future.

An adult child who constantly asks their parents for money is usually very used to getting money from their parents. In other words, the parents rarely if ever say no, and things have been that way for many years of their lives. When a child gets money from Mom or Dad anytime they want it as theyre growing up, they often continue the same habits and beliefs once theyre grown too. And unfortunately, Mom and Dad often continue handing out the cash even though the child is now an adult.

After a time of handing over money to your adult child regularly, most parents start becoming frustrated and wonder when the child will ever actually start standing on their own two feet. If however, the parents have fostered this behavior when the child still lived at home, and theyve been fostering it for some time after the child moved out to live as an adult on their own, then it will take some time and difficult steps to break the habits too.

As a responsible parent, you need to make sure your child is able to take care of themselves properly as an adult. And money management is one of the most important skills for you to teach them. It is easier to help teach your child money management skills before they reach adulthood, but all is not lost if theyre now adults and continuously expecting you to give them money.

Tags: Credit Accounts, Money Management

By Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW Effects of Exposure to Domestic Violence From Childhood to Adult Life

One of the many problems for children exposed to domestic violence, is that for some, it comes to be included amongst their own interpersonal management strategies.

Children exposed to domestic violence learn the use of violence as a strategy to mediate their needs and wants. They see the violence between their parents and how in many cases the violence advances the preferred outcome of the aggressor.

The violence comes in many forms visible to children. It may be through verbally abusive and demeaning language. It could be verbal threats of violence or physical gestures to intimate violence and thus intimidate. The violence may include throwing of objects and destruction of objects and in more extreme forms, it can include physical assault ranging from pushing, shoving and slapping to punching, kicking and strangulation. In the most physically dangerous of forms the violence can include the use of weapons. In so many cases, the violence is meant to assert one's will over the will of another.

There tends to be gender differences with regard to children exposed to domestic violence. Boys are at greater risk of learning that violence gets them what they want. Further, while relying on violence, there tends to be less reliance on verbal skills and hence these same boys are at risk of inadequate verbal relational skills such as dialogue and discussion to mediate their needs. Girls are at risk of learning that violence is normal and as a result can be more apt to accept violence within their relationships.

In terms of child and adult development then, childhood exposure to violence can rear its head in several ways. Within the school settings, both boys and girls may be apt to use violence to get their way. Boys tend to use overt violent behaviour such as bullying, intimidation and physical aggression whereas girls tend to use more covert behaviour such as excluding others from their group and malicious gossip. Within adult life, men exposed to domestic violence in childhood are more apt to use violence in intimate relationships than other men who were not exposed to domestic violence in childhood. Similarly, women who as children were exposed to domestic violence are more apt to tolerate violence from intimate partners.

For both men and women exposed to domestic violence in childhood, there is also a concern of desensitization when it comes to recognizing domestic violence in adulthood. In other words, they may only recognize certain behaviour as violent when it reaches a threshold near their childhood experience. This means that while they may resist or object to violent behaviour as experienced in childhood, they still may engage in, and/or tolerate violent behaviour, not recognizing it as such, because it is less than experienced when young. The problem here is that no amount of violence is acceptable and all violence carries consequences. So even if the adult domestic violence is less than experienced in childhood, intimate relationships will still be problematic and exposure to the children will still be problematic.

If you were exposed to domestic violence in childhood, consider discussing your experience with a counsellor knowledgeable in these matters. In discussing your childhood experiences it could be further helpful to explore current relationships and strategies for getting along and resolving differences. Exposure to domestic violence from childhood can have long-reaching consequences to adulthood. Hence we look to protect children in the present from such exposure to limit risks of their direct and immediate harm as well as their future intimate life.
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW www.yoursocialworker.com
(905) 628-4847
gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.

Tags: Domestic Violence, Effects of Exposure

By Donald Saunders

Here are seven tips to set your only child on the right path.

Tip 1. An excellent way of start the process of loosening your childs reliance on you and introducing him to other children in a safe and stimulating environment is to enroll him in a kindergarten. This also has the added advantage of easing him into school when the time comes.

Tip 2. Invite other children into your house so that your child has the chance to get used to interacting with other children in a safe and familiar environment.

Tip 3. If your child is having difficulty in relating to other children try to encourage him to develop a friendship with just one child initially and, once this friendship is established, gradually lead him in the direction of widening his circle of friends.

Tip 4. Choosing a school for your child can be difficult at the best of times but, when it comes to selecting a school for an only child, try to select a school in the immediate neighborhood so that your child will have friends who are close at hand.

Tip 5. When planning a family holiday try to ensure that you stay somewhere where there will be other children of your own childs age. Alternatively, consider arranging for another child to join you on holiday or team up with another family for a joint holiday.

Tip 6. If your child seems happy to enjoy solitary pastimes such as reading you may be tempted to try to discourage him from spending so much time reading and to push him towards other more sociable activities, such as sport. Rather than following this route, work with your childs interest and encourage him to broaden his interest into a group environment, in this case by perhaps joining a reading group.

Tip 7. If your child shows little interest in team sports or group activities then try to gently encourage him in that direction. Great care is needed here however and you should move slowly ensuring that your child follows your lead willingly, rather than reluctantly. At all costs however avoid the mistake of pushing your child into something that he really doesnt want to do.

Parenting4dummies.com provides a rapidly growing resource centre for all aspects of parenting including child parenting, parenting teenagers, only child parenting, step parenting and much more.

Tags: Child Develops, Well Rounded Adult

By Linda Milo

Physical Needs: These needs are the basics. The need for air, water, sleep, exercise, and sex.

Emotional Needs: This is the need for praise, love, trust, security, feeling OK inside, and self-fulfilled.

Social Needs: This is the need for companionship and friendship. This is usually gained from a peer group.

Intellectual Needs: This is the need for challenging thoughts, reading, learning something new, and mind stimulation.

Spiritual Needs: This is the quiet need inside that wants to know and believe in a higher spiritual power than ourselves. This need increases our awareness and sensitivity to the greater aspects of life.

Creative Needs: This is the need to express yourself in any manner you desire. This can include the arts, dancing, acting, and writing - almost anything that allows you to feel imaginative and inspired.

All of the above needs are usually a part of every humans life. All of us want to have these needs met in life. Having these needs met increases our enjoyment of living and creates a healthy body and soul. So how do parents fulfill these needs in their growing children? The first way is to become aware that the needs of a child are the same as yours. Being empathetic to your child at all times creates a bond that nurtures the needs of your child. For example, whenever your child wants to create or make something, allow your attention to center on your child and give him whatever you think will help to inspire your childs creativity.

My children loved to create drawings on large pieces of paper. I helped them do this by supplying them with the all the paper, crayons, paint, brushes, etc. necessary to stimulate their minds. Then I let them go to it! It was exciting to watch my child create a masterpiece of their imagination. Their artwork was sweet, beautiful and full of ingenuity. I then posted the artwork all around the house to show to their siblings and guests. As a parent, it was my goal to communicate with my child that I truly understood and valued his desires and feelings to be creative. I empowered my child to become all that he can be at that moment. This process immediately shows your child that his opinions and thoughts are valued.

By empowering your child, you are allowing your child to take ownership of their feelings, take responsibility for their behavior, make decisions that help them grow, follow through with commitments and most importantly, to become aware of the needs and feelings of others. You are giving your child the chance to experience success and understand his own uniqueness. Its rewarding for a child, adolescent and adult to have recognition and respect. By empowering yourself, as well as your child, you are fostering basic needs that truly make you glow inside and out.

At different times in our lives, we are capable of doing certain things. Stay tuned to where your childs capabilities are during his childhood and supply the above needs according to his stage in life. In fact, developmental stages continue right into old age. When a childs needs are met, his discomforts and fears are quickly removed and he finds that his life is truly a safe and fun place to be. This feeling leads to a child that learns to trust his environment and each successive stage of development.

Know that meeting these six needs in your childs life is not hard to do at any stage. Getting involved in your childs exploration of his life doesnt take money, but it does take thoughtfulness and time. Providing these needs throughout your childs lifetime allows your child to go through his stages of life with a healthy regard for himself and for society. It encourages your childs autonomy and capacity to do more with is his lifetime. Who can ask for more?

Copyright © 2006 by Linda Milo and Empowering Parents Now. All rights reserved.

Linda Milo, The Parent-Child Connection Coach, specializes in helping mothers and fathers turn their parenting challenges into a more livable, more workable, and more enjoyable family life. Her FREE better parenting newsletter covers specific, proven, and immediately usable methods for overcoming the most common parenting challenges. Visit http://www.empoweringparentsnow.com to subscribe to her FREE newsletter.

Tags: Adolescents, Needs of Children

By Gabriel Adams

If you cause harm to your child while they are growing up, it can cause serious psychological and physical damage for the rest of their lives. On the flip side if you raise them correctly in a healthy, happy home, they can reap benefits for a lifetime. Some of these lifelong benefits include having confidence in themselves, being a productive member of society, and also the ability to have healthy relationships with other people.

If you praise your child and shower them with love when you are raising them, it will give them confidence in themselves. Confidence can lead to many benefits in society from getting good grades, to making friends, to getting a good job. If your child does not have confidence in themselves, they might enter into a deep depression, or become a plague on society.

A healthy, happy home can also lead your child to become a productive member of society, because they will have learned the value of hard work and determination. These two values are very important in the development of a child into an adult. The final lifelong benefit of a healthy, happy home is the ability of your child to build healthy relationships throughout their lives.

If you want your child to be truly happy, then they need to know how to make friends with other people, and hopefully fall in love and get married some day. All parents should consider these benefits when they are raising their children, and make sure to put their childs interests before anything else.

Visit Psychotherapy for Adults, Adolescents and Couples Chapel Hill, NC and Coaching and Consulting.

Tags: Happy Home, Lifelong Benefits Of Healthy

By Pj Germain

Exercise And Play

Often times, when children return from playing, they
look quite exhausted and ready for a nap. This is
the most accurate description, and also quite the
truth, as playing is hard work. It's exhausting to
the mind and body of the child, and it plays an
important role in helping them to become productive
and healthy.

The role of play and exercise in the life of a young
child will provide them with several benefits.
Exercise of the body is a very important part of
keeping the young body fit as it grows into an adult
body. Once we reach adulthood, if we've had the
benefit of exercise and play, we all tend to
continue that habit well into our adult years.

Play is also good in the form of participating in
organized sports, coordinated play times, and being
a member of a large group during all of these types
of activities. Playing on this level will teach
us how to interact with peers and perform as a
team with our fellow players. In today's business
world, these skills are essential.

What we learn in body language, coping skills, and
the interaction of the mind and body during our
interaction with others is invaluable. When we
learn this skills to the fullest, not only will
we learn how to get along with others, but we will
also learn how to interact better with ourselves.

Although interacting with ourselves seems like
a rather pointless exercise, it is actually an
important part of maintaining the best sense of
health and wellness. There will always be times
when our bodies are trying to tell us things
about our physical or mental condition, which we
will simply refuse to listen to.

Through exercise and play, we will also learn
what our limitations are - both physical and
mental. At times of play, you'll see children
and young adults push themselves to their limit
and beyond. As children, we are all more able
to distinguish between a real limit versus what
society itself calls our limits.

For children and young adults, the pressures of
the world don't affect them near as much as it
does adults. Children have a much better state of
mind and peace, unlike adults that have let the
outside influence the body and mind, which will
do little more than becoming a dominant factor of
time.

As you can tell, the benefits that are gained from
exercise and play time as children, will benefit
us for the rest of our lives. As adults, we all
too often forget how important both exercise and
play are.

Normally, we want to rush children into their
daily responsibilities, forgetting that at their
age they need play and interaction for their young
minds.

Pj Germain

 

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Tags: Exercise, Play

By Kingston Amadan

Bipolar disorder is a treatable brain disorder marked by extreme shifts in a person's mood and disposition. Periods of intense mania are followed by bouts of severe depression, often with periods of normalcy in between. While on either end of the spectrum, sufferers of bipolar disorder often find it difficult to concentrate and maintain functionality sufficient for leading a productive life. Those who experience severe episodes of depression and hypomania are classified as suffering from bipolar II disorder, which women are diagnosed with more often than men. It is estimated that over two million Americans have a form of bipolar disorder, although many may be unaware of it. Bipolar disorder can develop at any time, however, most will experience the onset of symptoms in the post adolescence/early adulthood phase of their life. Fortunately, bipolar disorder can be treated but must be managed for long term success. Recognizing the symptoms of bipolar disorder is often the first step toward proper diagnosis and treatment.

The manic phases of bipolar disorder can be marked by an increase in energy, restlessness, irritability, the inability to concentrate, aggressiveness, euphoria, irrational thought and limited sleep, among other symptoms. The depression phase of bipolar disorder can be marked by feelings of sadness, guilt, helplessness, pessimism and agitation, as well as weight fluctuation, disturbed sleep patterns and a loss of interest in life. Suicidal thoughts may be present during prolonged periods of depression as well.

The importance of recognizing the symptoms of bipolar disorder cannot be overstated as many who suffer from it are improperly diagnosed because of the nature of their condition. Sufferers may feel that the extreme shifts in mood they are experiencing are simply the ebb and flow of life. They may seek help during periods of depression and not disclose their manic behavior because they associate it with happiness or normalcy. Recent attention paid to bipolar disorder and bipolar II disorder in the media, however, has helped to educate the population. Just as both forms of bipolar disorder have become more widely recognized by the medical community, the general public is also more aware than ever of their existence. Guidance is available for those who exhibit some of the symptoms of bipolar disorder as there are now many excellent resources for detailed information, both in print and on the web. Anyone who feels they may be suffering from bipolar disorder should always consult their physician. With proper treatment, those who have experienced the debilitating nature of this affliction can go on to lead healthy, productive lives.

 

 

Visit our site to learn more about Bipolar treatment You can also learn bout other disorders such as anxiety treatment or depression treatment

 

Tags: Recognizing The Symptoms, Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

By Destry Maycock, MSW

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock has over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Visit http://www.parentingstore.com to see the latest parenting programs.

 

Tags: Childs Behavior, Positive Reinforcement

By Craig J. Clark

These recliners are built on a smaller scale and usually do not have the same reclining mechanism that an adult recliner has. Many adult recliners have spring loaded reclining systems that are operated by a handle that protrudes from the right hand side of the chair. Pulling back on the handle and leaning back in the chair causes the mechanism recline. Child recliners generally do not have such a mechanism.

The child recliner mechanism functions in conjunction with the footrest. The child, or an adult if the child is very small, must pull up the footrest from the bottom. Pulling up the footrest causes the recliner to lay back. Kids are very nimble, probably more so than Grandpa J, and usually have no problem climbing in and out of the recliner even when it stays in its reclined position. Bigger kids will be able to recline and sit up in the recliner simply by pushing their backs against the seat back. They will be able to get up by sitting forward and pushing down on the footrest.

To my knowledge all child recliners work in this manner. Manufacturers tell us that the lever mechanisms arent currently made for small chairs and that they would increase shipping costs due to the need for larger boxes. If you find one with a handle mechanism, please let me know! craig@wcteam.com

Craig J. Clark, owner of numerous child product and furniture web sites, reviews products for children on a continual basis. Find information about Child Recliners, Rocking Chairs, Play Tents, Puppet Theaters and many other items on his web site: http://www.KidRecliners.com

Tags: Child Recliners, Reclining Systems

By Destry Maycock

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock, MSW has had over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing tools that help parents with the difficult but rewarding duty of raising children. His most recent creations can be found at http://www.parentingstore.com

 

Tags: Childs Behavior, Positive Reinforcement

By Annecy Ashburn

If you are fully committed to the decision to adopt, then you already have the most essential factor to gaining custody of a child. Moreover, if you can provide for the basic needs of a child as well as give him a nurturing environment then you may adopt. Here are some factors that will help you know who is qualified to adopt:

- Single individuals who are 21 years old and above - Married couples who are childless or who have other children - The emotional and physical well-being of potential adoptive parents is also taken into consideration

* I am single, can I adopt?

Yes. Even though you are single you have the option to adopt if you wish, given that you are 21 years old and above.

Commitment is the essential factor that most agencies are looking for in adoptive parents. A caring environment is necessary to ensure that the adopted child will grow into a productive adult.

* Is a special needs adoption the right choice for me?

If you are the type of person who is patient, has ample time to give the needs of a special child as well as shower him with the love he needs, then adopting a child with special needs may be for you. Emotional stability is needed to hurdle the many trials you will face with the decision to adopt a child with special needs.

Additionally, being financially and physically strong can be helpful in overcoming the challenge of being an adoptive parent to a child with special needs.

* Should I do international or domestic adoption?

There are numerous factors for you to consider before jumping into the decision to choose either international or domestic adoption. Such factors are:

- Travel. Once you decide to adopt internationally, you are required to personally pick up the child from his or her country. Normally you are required to stay for a week. There are times that the length of stay for adoptive parents can be up to three weeks.

On the other hand, adopting a child within your state will not require you extensive and intercontinental travels.

- Expenses. Surveys show that international adoption is the most expensive type of adoption since there are many documents to prepare as well as fees to pay. On the other hand, opting for a domestic adoption is not as costly as international adoption. There are times when domestic adoption can be free of charge. Each case is individual.

- Adoption Training. It is recommended for domestic adoption to attend trainings and seminars before gaining custody of a child. While international adoptions do not normally have required training.

* What are some legal issues in adoption?

Legal issues in adoption differ from one state to another or from one country to another. It also depends on the type of adoption from which you will be choosing. Hence, if you plan to adopt, it is recommended that you research and be familiar with the existing laws and regulations on adoption in your area.

* How can the Internet help me in adopting a child?

The Internet is a good venue for you to adopt a child. Most adoption websites will help you get through the adoption process. Here are some common factors you may encounter via the Internet when adopting a child:

- Initial process of adopting a child - the things you need to know to start the process - Information on the selection process and post-adoption process - Wide selections of adoption institutions - Support groups - Photos of children waiting to be adopted

Annecy Ashburn is a regular contributor to adoption and infertility-related resources such as Adoption Questions and Answers. Website: http://www.AdoptionQA.com

Tags: Adoption Questions, Eligibility Adoption

By Rachel Evans

Raising a child with high functioning autism can be made easier by providing children with the necessary therapy they require. However, aside from therapy, the following are 5 basic parenting tips that may prove helpful along the way:

Tip 1 - Create Schedules - Most autistics, including those with high functioning autism, resist change and insist on routine. Creating schedules helps autistic children to better comprehend situations and learn. You need to provide your child with a daily schedule that shows him/her the order of activities they will experience. If your child has difficulty reading, create a picture schedule.

Furthermore, telling a child in advance that an activity is about to change, helps to create an easier transition for them. For instance, tell your child 'In 5 minutes, were going to stop coloring and read a story'.

Tip 2 - Create understanding - Make sure your child understands what you want him/her to do. Ensure that the task you are asking is achievable and you understand the specific way in which your child learns and reacts to information told to him/her.

For instance, you should refrain from using figures of speech as part of instruction. A figure of speech is when you use an expression that has a non-literal meaning (IE. metaphors, similes, etc.) This form of language will be lost on an autistic. Thus, a better choice would be to use a visual aid such as a picture or a demonstration, to clarify the task.

Tip 3 - Create a personalized behavior plan - You cant rely on the parenting methods that work for parents with regular children, or even those who have a child with high functioning autism. You need to create a program that is specifically oriented around the interests and needs of your child. This means analyzing your childs behavior and creating a personal program based on his/her behavioral patterns. This is how you will eventually get your child to learn, respond and interact with others.

Tip 4 - Focus on improvement - Instead of trying to explain to your child what you dont like when they do something you deem inappropriate or unproductive, focus on improving their behavior. If you want to improve on past behaviors, teach new 'acceptable' ones to replace the old.

Teaching new behavioral skills will take plenty of time, patience and practice, but eventually the new acceptable behaviors will replace those you dont approve of.

Tip 5 - Sensitivity alert! - Make sure you are aware of the triggers that will upset your child, so you can do your best to ensure they are avoided. Some issues that tend to upset those with high functioning autism include, but are not limited to:

* Sudden loud sounds (IE. alarms) * Unusual smells in a particular room * Discomfort when touched * Being bumped

Although you cant ensure your child will always be safe from sensitive issues, by knowing what they are helps you to have more control. Like any child, the less stress your autistic child has, the more productive they will be.

Remember, as a parent of a child with high functioning autism, you need to learn how to go with the flow, be creative, patient - and above all - maintain a positive attitude.

By Rachel Evans. To find out more about high functioning autism and for information on adult autism please visit the links.

Tags: Functioning Autism, Raising Children

By Candace Cook

I believe that, while it may not be possible to recreate childhood, it is possible to rediscover childhood. As older teens or adult prevailers over childhood sexual abuse or rape, we may feel we were cheated out of our childhood. Our innocence was torn apart as we were introduced to lewd, dishonorable, irresponsible, corrupt, manipulative behavior by child abusers, molesters, and rapists. This cannot be undone.. but, we can re-introduce ourselves to the youthful innocence of play, genuine honesty, and light heartedness. For some, it's easier to do than for others.. but, in this forum, we're going to work on being kids - because that's one of the most important parts of growing up!

I will periodically be posting new, innovative methods of rediscovering childhood - while, not allowing that to interfere with the adult world in which we must function! I hope others will join me in this experiment, exercise or whatever you wish to call it! To participate, just visit the Prevailer Community: http://prevailer.true.ws

24 year old mother/gaurdian of 5 children. Founder of internet support community for sexual abuse %26 rape survivors. http://prevailer.true.ws

 

Tags: Rediscovering Childhood, Sexual Abuse

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

In the 37 years that I have been counseling individuals, I have worked with many people who have suffered from severe physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse in childhood. Many who have sought my help were suffering from fear and anxiety, depression, various addictions, relationship problems and sexual problems. Many of these people had no memory of their childhood and had no idea why there were so unhappy. Many had spent years in therapy yet had never remembered their abuse.

The reason they could not remember the traumatic events of their childhood is because the child or children within, who suffered the abuse, did not feel safe in revealing the abuse. These unconscious inner parts were protecting the person from reliving the horrible pain of the past. These inner children knew that the adult self did not have the strength to learn about and manage the information and the feelings.

In order to remember and heal traumatic events from the past that are affecting you today, you need to have a strong and loving Adult self who is capable of managing emotional pain. Without this loving inner Adult, you may get so flooded and overwhelmed with the feelings of traumatic memories that you cannot function.

The gentle, transformational Inner Bonding process that we teach is a process for developing this strong, loving Adult self. The loving Adult is the aspect of us that is connected with a powerful and loving Source of spiritual guidance - whatever this is for you. Learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process develops your ability to connect with your personal Source of spiritual guidance. It is your connection with your guidance that gives you the strength to manage the intensely painful feelings of childhood abuse.

Once the inner children who hold the memories feel safe that there is a loving Adult self who is capable of managing the feelings, you will start to remember your past. As these memories come up, you will begin to understand the conclusions you drew about yourself that are currently causing your pain. Almost all children who have been abused draw erroneous conclusions about themselves as a result of the abuse - false beliefs such as, "I'm not important." "I have no worth." "I am just an object for others' use." "I am not lovable." "I should never have been born." "I would be better off dead." "I don't deserve love." "I am a bad person." It is these beliefs that are causing your present pain.

Healing from childhood abuse is not just about remembering the past. It is about remembering the very good reasons you had for drawing the conclusions that are currently causing you such pain. It is about gently and lovingly acknowledging what happened that led to your present beliefs that are now limiting you. It is about learning how to access the truth from your spiritual source so that you can move out of lies that you are telling yourself that are causing your current pain.

Most of us learn to treat ourselves based on how we were treated and how our parents or caregivers treated themselves. When your parents abused you, they were also not taking loving care of themselves and were not role modeling loving self-care. As long as you treat yourself the way your parents or other caregivers treated you and themselves, you will suffer. Healing from childhood abuse is about developing your loving Adult self so that you can learn to treat your inner child or inner children the way you always wanted to be treated.

You CAN fully heal from childhood abuse, but only through learning to access and bring into your being the love, truth, wisdom and strength of your spiritual guidance. Through learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process, you will discover the incredibly beautiful and perfect essence within you - the part of you that was never damaged by the abuse. This is your true Self that will emerge as you heal the false beliefs of your wounded self. This is what will happen as you develop your loving Adult self through learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. best-selling author of eight books, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com.

 

Tags: Childhood Abuse, Innerbonding

By Ray Stone

Bipolar disorder is also known as manic depression. Bipolar disorder is a psychological disorder that effects a person's mood. The mood swings are very extreme with a manic (high elation) phase and a very deep depressive phase. There is estimated to effect approximately 1%25 of the adult population. There is also evidence that shows that neither men nor women have a greater chance of suffering from bipolar disorder than the other. Bipolar is the third most common disorder after major depression and dysthymic disorder (a mild but persistent form of depression). Because of the extreme psychological disturbances caused by bipolar disorder, it can destroy lives. Alcohol and drug problems are often present in sufferers and without proper medication and care, it leads to 20%25 of sufferers committing suicide.

Many people experience a depressive phase most of the time, while only experiencing very few manic episodes. It is the swing between moods that people find hardest to deal with. Although no one would care to feel deeply depressed.

There is no cure for bipolar disorder and it is a life-long condition that often needs to be controlled with medication. Lithium is used to help control mania phases of people who suffer from bipolar disorder. Bipolar often begins in adolescence or early adulthood, and continues throughout life. Bipolar disorder is very seldom diagnosed in people who are 40 years old and above.

Types of Phases

Although it is generally accepted that bipolar disorder alternates the sufferers mood between mania and depression, the American Psychiatric Association has identified four different moods that are experienced in varying degrees of intensity and length, or not at all.

 

• Depression - typical depression from a lack of motivation or interest in anything including eating to thoughts and attempts at suicide.
• Mania - often begins with an elated or euphoric feeling. can also cause a sufferer to feel angry and irritable.
• Hypomania - a milder form of mania where the person feels good and feels they are becoming more productive with their life.
• Mixed mood - a mixed episode is characterised by experiencing feelings of mania and depression all in the same day.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder symptoms are disturbances or abnormality of moods with the sufferer alternating between a manic phase and a depressive phase repetitively.

 

Depressive Phase Symptoms

• Very deep negative moods often with thoughts or attempts at suicide.
• Eating disorders.
• No interest in activities enjoyed in the past.
• None or very little interest in sex.
• No self esteem.
• Sleeping problems high an low.
• Feeling guilty.

 

Manic Phase Symptoms

• Excessive high or euphoric feelings along with many grand or over-ambitious ideas or plans.
• Excessive amounts of energy.
• Unnaturally high self-esteem and self-belief.
• Increased sex drive which may lead to promiscuity and aggressive sexual behaviour.
• Extreme irritability and easily distracted.
• Alcohol and drug abuse, usually cocaine and sleeping medication.
• Little need for sleep.
• Manic phase lasts at least one week.

 

Author: R. Stone

Depression Medication

(c) 2006, PerfectDrugRx. All rights in all media reserved. Reprints must include
byline, contact information and copyright.

 

Tags: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Symptoms

By Sarah K. Jenkins

The first thing you should do to help your child is research ADD; learn everything you can about the disorder. You will be more help to your child if you fully understand what they are up against, common treatments, and what to expect down the road. You will also be more prepared to work with your childs doctor in effective management of the disorder.

You should also decide, with the help of your doctor, if your child should be medicated. This is a personal decision and can be only be made by you. Some parents feel they are giving their child the best opportunity they can by providing a means to a normal life. Others feel as though medication is not an option. Whatever your decision, you should be educated and certain of your decision.

Regardless of if you use medication, you should implement certain behavior therapy guidelines to help your child control their behavior. These train your child to utilize lifelong skills to be effective and productive. You should have set behaviour guidelines, as well as consequences. Children with ADD need clear expectations and consistent discipline.

You should be supportive of your child; you are their best advocate. In school, be sure they are being treated in a manner that will ensure their growth and development, as well as at home. You should consider yourself, your childs teachers, and doctors a part of a team whose goal is to help your child succeed.

Help your child grow to be a confident and happy person. Acknowledge their strengths and tell them how much you love them. Children with ADD often suffer depression and low self-esteem; if you know this is the case, take measures to help avoid this fate for your child. Seek professional help if necessary.

Consider joining a support group and seek out people that share your situation. Often the best advice you can take is from someone that has been in your shoes. Utilize life experience!

Sarah is an acclaimed writer on medical matters, and has written extensively on the subjects of Attention Deficit Disorder, Bird Flu and Crohns Disease. For more of her articles, go to http://www.imedicalvillage.com now. Click here now and re

Tags: Children With ADD, Self Esteem

By Carl DiNello

Winston Churchill used to refer to it as his "black dog." When haunted by this problem, Churchill would undergo manic phases of intense productivity.

Florence Nightingale, the noted nurse and statistician, would hear voices in her head. During her teens, and early 20's, she would experience severe depressive episodes as a result of this problem.

One of the most popular among the paintings of Vincent Van Gogh, is one titled "The Starry Night." This painting is said to depict the extreme highs and lows that Van-Gogh suffered as a result of this disorder.

These are but a few of the great and well-known personalities of both past and present that have displayed a symptom of bipolar disorder. It is no surprise that bipolar disorder, as the sixth largest cause of disability in the world, has affected, and continues to affect a great many individuals. It is a disorder that causes its sufferers to experience extreme changes in mood that can rapidly shift from manic episodes of intense energy levels, to an extremely depressed condition.

While bipolar disorder, particularly those cases classified as Bipolar I, can greatly hamper a person's ability to function normally, all is not lost. People suffering from bipolar disorder can still live relatively normal lives. An accurate diagnosis by a trained professional in this area, is essential to helping a person achieve a normal life. An accurate diagnosis will lead to an accurate prognosis, which in turn will lead to appropriate treatment.

However, a person must first be able to recognize that they are in fact experiencing a symptom of bipolar disorder. It is this recognition of a bipolar symptom that will lead them to seek medical attention. Here are some symptoms of bipolar disorder to look for in yourself, or a person you know who may be suffering from bipolar disorder:

Symptoms Of A Manic Episode

- Feeling unusually happy and optimistic: feeling "high"

- The inability to sleep, or the feeling of a decreased need for sleep

- Sudden feelings of anger, aggression, provocation, and intrusion

- A sudden increase in creativity and productivity due to an abnormally high energy level

- Feeling extremely distracted and unable to concentrate of focus

- Experiencing delusions or hallucinations

- Involvement in dangerous or high-risk activities such as drug use or alcohol abuse

- Increased recklessness as a result of impaired judgment

Symptoms Of A Depressive Episode

- Extreme feelings of sadness and pessimism

- Displaying a lack of interest in the surroundings, or in the participation of pleasure activities

- Feeling a sense of worthlessness

- Becoming, without provocation, extremely angry, irritable, and anxious

- Considering the possibility of taking one's own life

- Struggling just to get out of bed in the morning, and generally displaying decreased levels of energy

- A loss of appetite, or even a refusal to eat anything

These symptoms, or even a singular symptom of bipolar disorder may occur during, or just after experienceing any of the following:

- Suffering as a result of a chronic illness

- Experiencing a major life event, whether it is a positive one, or a negative one

- Dealing with a major personal, or family crisis

- Excessive use of drugs, or alcohol

- Excessive sleep deprivation

Bipolar disorder is extremely serious. It is very important for you to learn to recognize any symptom of bipolar disorder. Discovery of this problem is critical to the receiving of proper treatment, and the living of a normal, productive life. Can one have bipolar disorder and still be productive? Absolutely! Here are some other individuals who have suffered from bipolar disorder that you just might have heard of:

Ludwig van Beethoven
Kurt Cobain
Stephen Fry
Vincent Van Gogh
Ernest Hemingway
Sylvia Plath
Sidney Sheldon
Mark Twain
and many more!

If you think that perhaps you, or someone you know may be suffering from a symptom of bipolar disorder, it is imperative that you immediately visit a doctor who is highly competent in this field. Should you not know a doctor who specializes in this field, just ask your physician to refer you to a specialist.

Carl DiNello is an Article Author whose articles are featured on websites covering the Internets most popular topics.

To read more on this topic, please visit Bipolar Information %26 Resources!

By melvin polatnick

People that have been homely all of their lives have a unique way of looking at the world. They are much different than the person who has become homely through personal neglect or old age. Some of those that have been homely since childhood have learned to accept their shortcomings, and if they havent been psychologically devastated, they will try to make something out of themselves in an area that doesnt require good appearance.

Many people that were born homely, and have been unloved since childhood, have turned to crime, it is out of anger at a world that has treats them as unwanted citizens. Criminals were once called: 'Plug-Uglies', because many of them were homely. There was a prison rehabilitation program in the 1930s where plastic surgery was used to enhance the appearance of: 'Plug-Uglies' it was successful but it ran out of funds. It should be reestablished as a solution to the plight of the less than attractive criminal

There are many areas of child abuse, and the media is full of all kinds of stories about them. But the worse type of child abuse is, the abuse of a parent that avoids a child because the child is seen as less than attractive. That child is very aware of its parents feelings, and can detect in the facial expressions of an adult if it is loved. When the child detects that it is seen as worthless, the childs world is shattered and those pieces can never be reconstructed

If you are planning to have a child it is your responsibility as a parent to love that child even if that child turns out to be less than adorable. If you refuse to give your love to a child that is homely, you will be committing a great crime. Because that unloved child will turn into an angry and unhappy adult and will always hate you for your coldness.

retired and single

Tags: Plug Uglies, Unwanted Children

By Atty. Gabriel Cosh

For SSI, a child is somebody who is under 18 years old and not married or a head of the family. A 22 year old person is also considered a child with the added qualification that he or she is a student who is regularly attending school.

If a person qualifies as a child under SSI Rules, he or she may be eligible for SSI benefits if the child is either blind or disabled.

A child below 18 is considered disabled if he or she has mental or physical impairment which: (1) Results in marked and severe functional limitations; (2) May reasonably result in death; or (3) Has lasted or expected to last for a period of not less than 12 months.

On the other hand, a child who is 18 or older is considered disabled if the child has mental or physical impairment which: (1) Results in the incapacity to engage in any substantial gainful employment; (2) May reasonably result in death; or (3) Has lasted or expected o last for at least 12 months.

Similarly, blindness to be a disability under the SSI means statutory blindness. A person is considered blind for purposes of being eligible for SSI benefit when: (1) the child or adult has a central visual acuity of 20/200 or less in the better eye even while wearing eye glasses or contact lens; or (2) the child or adult has limited field of vision in the better eye in that the child or adult has a contraction of peripheral visual fields to 10 degrees from the point of fixation or the widest diameter of the childs or adults visual field subtends an angle no greater than 20 degrees.

Other than SSI benefits, a child of 22 years of age can also get Medicaid in some states. The reason is that, even though the child is already getting SSI benefits, the child might be in need of Medicaid as well to help pay the childs medical bills.

If the child is deemed eligible for Medicaid as well, the state has the option to live at home and still keep Medicaid if this will be less costly than having the child in an institution-level care and getting Medicaid also.

If you are a child of 22 and below and is in need of SSI benefits, do not hesitate to contact your local Social Security Office for more information or ask the help of an attorney to assist you in your application.

Find out more of SSI benefits and other social security issues, visit http://www.socialsecuritylawattorney.com

Atty Gabriel Cosh is a legal advocate and a pratitioner of law for over 10 years now. He is also an expert in the field of social legislation and personal injury cases.

Tags: Dangerous Conditions, Public Property