By Destry Maycock, MSW

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock has over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Visit http://www.parentingstore.com to see the latest parenting programs.

By Destry Maycock

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock, MSW has had over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing tools that help parents with the difficult but rewarding duty of raising children. His most recent creations can be found at http://www.parentingstore.com

By Rachel Evans

Why do some autistic kids have trouble when it comes to toilet training? There are different reasons, some of which include:

* Imitation difficulties

* Hypnotic condition - A lack of muscle control and failing to react or recognize the urge to urinate.

* Not being aware of feeling wet can also complicate and delay toilet training.

* Damaged cerebellum and basal ganglia - These are areas of the brain that are not formed correctly in autistic children, and are responsible for functions related to learning, motivation, cognition and movement control.

There are different methods to help your child overcome enuresis. However, the treatment that will work best depends on the childs individual needs. In addition, you need to make sure your child can efficiently use the toilet during the day before working on controlling bedwetting.

The following are 5 tips you can try to help eliminate bedwetting:

1.Diet adjustment - Diet intervention may help autistic children with bedwetting because many autistics are prone to allergies and have sensitivities to certain foods, because they have a damaged immune system.

Common food allergies that can lead to bedwetting include grain (IE wheat, oats, barley), dairy products, strawberries and citrus fruits. Aside from bedwetting, other symptoms caused by these foods may be stomachaches, nausea, whining, crying, hyperactivity, aggression, insomnia, and in rare cases, a seizure.

In order to find out if your child has an allergy, you will need to remove the food from their regular diet for about two weeks and then give it to them on an empty stomach. If allergic, they will have a reaction 15 minutes to an hour from the time they ingested the food. If a reaction occurs, then you know what food to eliminate. Note: consult your doctor before trying this treatment method.

2. Reduce fluids - Limit the amount of fluids you give your child before bed. Get your child used to having a drink an hour before bedtime, instead of right before its time to sleep. This will help reduce the chance of bedwetting.

3. Night-lifting - This technique involves waking you child occasionally throughout the night and walking them to the bathroom to use the toilet, and returning them to their bed. Teaching your child to wake up and empty their bladder at various times during the night can help send the right message and improve toilet training.

4. Dry protection - Absorbent underpants, a protector sheet and placing a protector pad between the sheets and mattress are all great ways to help a child feel dry at night while they are still learning how to develop control. Disposable, absorbent underpants help your child and you cope with bedwetting, by preventing pajamas and sheets from having to be washed when there is an accident. Furthermore, when using such protection, talk to your child about what the urge to urinate feels like.

5. Moisture Alarm - This is a special alarm that clips on to the outside of bed sheets and activates as soon as the child begins to wet the bed. The idea is the alarm will wake the child who will then finish their business in the washroom before returning to sleep. Note: talk to your doctor about moisture alarms.

It takes time to stop your autistic child from bedwetting, but you need to stay persistent, patient and understanding even well after it appears the child has ceased enuresis as it is not uncommon for relapses to occur.

If you are looking for more help for Autism symptoms please visit EssentialGuideToAutism.com and sign up for a free newsletter.

By Michele Ballard

One need not be a psychologist or psychiatrist to know that ADD behavior management can be a tricky task. Medication may not be enough as drugs may merely be palliative, and not able to attack the heart of the problem. Behavior management that considers the physiological and psychological sides of the disorder will have better chances of success.

ADD behavior management must start from the sufferers immediate circle of family members, friends, classmates or colleagues. The ADD sufferer will, over time and medication and therapy, surely begin to change for the better, but the change must start from the individuals family for one.

A parent must begin to accept the difficult situation brought about by the disorder, and must make a conscionable decision to mend his or her ways to adapt to the demands of an ADHD child. When the child misbehaves or gets into trouble as a result of the hyperactivity, the parent might think it natural to shout at the child or levy some sort of punishment for the misbehavior. Instinctive, but not very helpful, really, as experts agree. The parent has to practice positive reinforcement of the childs deeds, however dysfunctional they may be. Mere rephrasing a scolding statement can spell the difference between the child regressing and the child realizing his mistake and resolving not to do it again. Rather than saying youre bad, you wont change, the child can be reprimanded with youre better than that or you can do it.

ADD behavior management may take several forms, but one very basic strategy is to adopt a rewards-based method rather than a punishment-based one. While the child is made aware of the consequences of the behavior, the child can also be assured that a reward awaits positive behavior and efforts to do so. It does not have to be monetary; it does not even have to be tangible. As long as there is positive recognition, positive reinforcement, the child will deem it as reward enough. The parent, therapist, or doctor, must be able to make the child aware of the situation, the consequences, and the rewards.

myboardingschool.com

writer

By Jean Tracy, MSS

How positive affirmations increase thoughtfulness:

When your child invites a shy kid to play, you can increase your childs thoughtfulness with a positive affirmation like: 'Im pleased when you include kids who arent playing -

Because it shows how thoughtful you are. Because you just made (kids name) feel welcomed. Because you made sure everyone is having a good time.' Your child is likely to increase non-violent behavior and include even more kids when playing. Your positive affirmation encouraged him. All kids crave encouragement. Your positive affirmation increased his character too.

How positive affirmations increase empathy:

When your child helps a fallen child with a bloody knee, you can increase your childs character with a positive affirmation like: 'I admire you when you help kids who are hurt - Because you are taking care of others. Because it shows that you think beyond yourself. Because it shows you have a heart that cares.'

Your child is likely to increase non-violent behavior and continue helping kids. Your positive affirmation appreciated her. All kids crave appreciation. Your positive affirmation increased her character too.

How positive affirmations increase tolerance:

When your child forgives another child for teasing, you can increase your childs character with a positive affirmation like: 'I respect you when you forgive those who hurt you -

Because you didnt take the teasing personally. Because you realize words cant hurt you unless you let them. Because it takes a child with a big heart to forgive.'

Your child is likely to increase non-violent behavior and become even more tolerant. Your positive affirmation praised him. All kids crave praise. Your positive affirmation increased his character too. You can raise a child with non-violent behavior. When you encourage, appreciate, and praise, you respect your child. Your child, in turn, will respect you and others. Why not use positive affirmations everyday and build character too?

Jean Tracy, MSS, publishes a Free top-rated parenting newsletter, Tips and Tools for Character Builders. Subscribe and receive 80 Free family fun activities to share with your kids.

By Mary Hanna

There are a few tools you will need to get started; purchase the doll at a childrens store or website and get use to how it works. 'Big Kid' underwear is your next purchase to get the child use to not using diapers. You will also need a potty chair or a potty seat cover to dismiss any fears your child will have of the big opening on the toilet. These will get you started on training your child to use the bathroom.

Start the process together. The child needs to name the doll, usually after someone, like a cartoon or someone they consider to be a Hero. Have the child feed the doll some water, then both of you walk to the potty chair pull down the dolls underwear, place it on the seat, and press on its stomach so it expels the water into the potty chair/seat. When thats done make a big deal out of it with maybe horns or noise makers, or cookies and milk. This conveys to the child that using the potty is a good thing. The psychology here is that if their Hero does it and gains praise, then maybe your child should do it too. All young children thrive on praise from their parents.

Now is also the time to get rid of the diapers and introduce the Big Kid underwear to the child. Remember, the Hero Doll just used the underwear and wouldnt your child want to be just like their Hero? Start giving the child a lot of liquids to encourage the use of the potty; this reinforces the need to use the potty.

Ask frequently if they need to go to the potty. Remember young children are not yet programmed to head to the potty when an urge is felt. Since they have been born they have just acted on that urge immediately. You need to train them to use the potty when they feel the urge and by mentioning it frequently they will get the hint.

When they are ready, take them to the potty and help them pull down their underwear. If you are successful in this endeavor praise the child profusely. This will be a positive reinforcement. Never, never ever scold a child if they have an accident because using negative attitudes will undo all your hard work in trying to get the child trained.

After your child has used the potty for the first time, it is time to get the milk and cookies out again to make him/her feel special, once more, turn the event into a positive rewarding experience.

Well you might say, thats great information but when do I start? There are a zillion schools of thought on this. Some say as early as six months while others think it easier to train children when they are older. The best advice I have seen is to let your child tell you!

Weve all seen little kids scrunch their faces and make grunting noises when the feel the need to 'eliminate'. This is your cue that they are getting ready, so why not start right then. If they are completely against the potty training they will let you know, but if you follow the steps outlined above it will work.

Try to make this experience seem positive so that it will be virtually painless for both you and your child.

Good Luck!

Visit Mary Hannas websites at: Potty Training Herb Gardening and Cruise Reviews or contact her at mary@webmarketingreviews.com

By Jeff Foster

They do not pay the bills, have to worry about peer pressure, or even deal with the stresses of employment. Despite all of these things which children do not need to worry about, children are still very subjective to the effects of anxiety.

Kids worry about their schools, their health, the health of their families, world events, their families and a host of other things that seem like the things that would be quite far from their mind.

Many of these topics may seem very adult but that is exactly how child anxiety works. They worry about things which should not worry them at their age - leading to the development of phobias, panic disorders, and even OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder.

Many consider these symptoms to be very rare and never occurring in their own worrisome youngster. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In reality, these symptoms can usually go unnoticed, if you are not even considering child anxiety to be the problem.

Some of the most common symptoms of child anxiety include restlessness, fatigue, irritability, insomnia and difficulty in concentration. In most cases involving child anxiety, the children do not understand their condition and so it makes it harder to pinpoint the exact problem.

If these symptoms seem to match the behavior of your child then seek the help of a psychotherapist or pediatrician. Of course, use medicines and other drugs as a last resort and only for severe conditions.

Many cases of mild anxiety can be cured by relaxation time, such as a back rub before bedtime, positive self-talk, such as I am sure you know the You Can Do It lectures, and even praising them for daily tasks, for example, when they help you with unloading the dishwasher or getting a good grade on a test or quiz.

During this time of treatment for child anxiety, it is also very important that you not hide your childs condition from them. In some cases, just knowing what the problem is can be a way to help your child to relax and things could begin to improve.

Another form of anxiety is known as selective mutism anxiety. This is when a child refuses or is unable to speak in a specific situation where speaking is expected of him or her. Some times, the child will be able to speak in slightly different situations but do not assume the worst of your children. This could be something which they cannot control with professional intervention.

If this seems like your child, then you should probably seek professional guidance. Remember, it is never safe to do a self-diagnosis. You could be right, but lets leave the final analysis to the experts.

In the meantime, try some other therapeutic techniques like positive reinforcement, role playing, teacher involvement and relaxation training.

Child anxiety can be very scary but you and your little one can tackle it, step by step.

For more important information on anxiety & depression 0-depression.com where you will find advice and tips on anxiety self help, depression and more

By Tony Robinson

These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.

Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.

Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your childs development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.

Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each childs progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching.

This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children. Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished. This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students.

Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.

Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.

Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience.

Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.

When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.

Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack of confidence with some students. For more information visit http://www.better-self-esteem.com

By Rachel Evans

The first thing youll need to understand is that some of the universal rules that apply to potty training a child are not always applicable with an autistic child. Rather, they require some adaptation from their original form to become relevant. It is also important to remember that patience and determination are both prerequisites when attempting to undergo this challenge. It will not be easy, and will take some hard work.

Another thing you will need to remember is that autistic children do not react to positive reinforcement as you might expect a non-ASD child to act. Because of this, you cant count on utilizing prizes and rewards to get your child to learn. And if you cant count on a consistent reaction, it may be best to abandon this tactic altogether.

It is also very important that you take the time to effectively communicate the importance of using a bathroom or toilet to your child. This is because a child with autism simply might not understand the importance of the matter. One smart idea to accomplish this might be to use visual references instead of verbal references. You can use simple illustrative guides that show the step-by-step process. You can buy books or flash cards for this purpose or you could make your own. It doesnt matter how you choose to address the problem, however it is vital to communicate the importance of why big boy and girls use the bathroom, which may be an especially difficult concept for an autistic child to understand.

Yet another obstacle you may encounter is the fact that children with autism have a difficult time knowing when they need to use the bathroom. This is probably the number one reason that accidents are common. The best way to overcome this is to set up a routine. Using a timer or a clock, have your child go to the bathroom at the same time every day. This shouldnt be too hard to accomplish, as autistic children are generally prone to wanting routine anyway.

While you should be resolute in your commitment to helping your child, it is important to bear in mind that children with autism do not willingly and readily accept change into their lives. So, dont become frustrated or disheartened if you dont achieve your desired results soon. If your child does not respond positively to one strategy, then dont be too unwilling to try another. If youre determined to achieve success from the onset, then you will help your child master this very critical step in the developmental process.

It is true that autism potty training might not seem to mix without eliciting some negative emotion, but this neednt be the case. Follow the above tips, stay flexible in your approach, and you should get the positive results youre looking for.

By Rachel Evans. Sign up for a free newsletter about autism and discover more on the signs and symptoms of autism.

By Tony Robinson

These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.

Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.

Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your childs development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.

Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each childs progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching. This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children. Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished.

This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students. Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.

Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.

Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience.

Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.

When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.

Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack of confidence with some students. For more information visit http://www.better-self-esteem.com

By Jean Tracy, MSS

Jaclyn O'Malley published an article about a middle school student in the Reno Gazette-Journal last March. The student deliberately shot one classmate. A second bullet ricocheted off the floor and hit a nearby girl. The 14 year-old shooter did it because his classmates made fun of him.

Having been a child/family counselor, I know the pain parents feel when an enraged child becomes violent. I know how helpless parents can feel, and I know how parents can build character so that their kids choose non-violent behavior.

Using positive affirmations from early childhood can help. Below are 3 positive affirmations that increase non-violent behavior and build character too.

How positive affirmations increase thoughtfulness:

When your child invites a shy kid to play, you can increase your child's thoughtfulness with a positive affirmation like:
"I'm pleased when you include kids who aren't playing -

Because it shows how thoughtful you are.
Because you just made (kid's name) feel welcomed.
Because you made sure everyone is having a good time."

Your child is likely to increase non-violent behavior and include even more kids when playing. Your positive affirmation encouraged him. All kids crave encouragement. Your positive affirmation increased his character too.

How positive affirmations increase empathy:

When your child helps a fallen child with a bloody knee, you can increase your child's character with a positive affirmation like:
"I admire you when you help kids who are hurt -

Because you are taking care of others.
Because it shows that you think beyond yourself.
Because it shows you have a heart that cares."

Your child is likely to increase non-violent behavior and continue helping kids. Your positive affirmation appreciated her. All kids crave appreciation. Your positive affirmation increased her character too.

How positive affirmations increase tolerance:

When your child forgives another child for teasing, you can increase your child's character with a positive affirmation like:
"I respect you when you forgive those who hurt you -

Because you didn't take the teasing personally.
Because you realize words can't hurt you unless you let them.
Because it takes a child with a big heart to forgive."

Your child is likely to increase non-violent behavior and become even more tolerant. Your positive affirmation praised him. All kids crave praise. Your positive affirmation increased his character too.

You can raise a child with non-violent behavior. When you encourage, appreciate, and praise, you respect your child. Your child, in turn, will respect you and others. Why not use positive affirmations everyday and build character too?

Jean Tracy, MSS, publishes a Free top-rated parenting newsletter, Tips and Tools for Character Builders. Subscribe and receive 80 Free family fun activities to share with your kids.

By Stacie Mahoe

Encourage a Healthy Lifestyle
Making exercise a part of your childs life teaches your child the importance of fitness. This, along with proper nutrition, plays a vital role in maintaining health. Children need physical activity every day and participation in sports helps fill this need. With todays wealth of video games and increasing computer literacy, daily physical activity is often times forgotten. Getting your child involved with sports helps them make exercise a part of their lifestyle and increases their chance of a being a healthier adult.

Promote Self Esteem
When a child realizes that they are getting better and better at their sport, they cant help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Choosing a sport your child can grow and improve in gives your child an opportunity to build self-esteem. Together, with positive reinforcement from you their parent, they will gain confidence and have a more positive view of themselves.

Learn Goal Setting
Im sure youll agree goal setting and success go hand in hand. Participation in sports gives your child a fun, practical way to learn about goal setting. Theyll see, experience, and learn about how goal setting works. If your childs coach doesnt cover goal setting, thats okay! You as a parent can sit down with your child and set goals. By assisting your child in developing this skill, you give them a better chance at succeeding in life.

Learn and Experience Teamwork
How often have you read a help wanted ad where the employer wants a 'team player' or a candidate that 'works well with others'? I see it all the time. How much more valuable are you as an employee when you can put differences aside and get the job done? Sports teach children about teamwork and about how their actions affect other people. If they cant learn to work together with teammates while playing a sport they enjoy, how will they be able to work with co-workers they may or may not like while performing a job they may or may not enjoy? This is an important lesson to learn. Encourage your child to be a team player and, as a sports parent, keep tabs on whether or not your words and actions promote this trait in your child.

Develop Time Management Skills
Adding extracurricular activities to your childs schedule encourages development of and time management and prioritization skills. Teach your child that taking care of responsibilities, such as school work and cleaning up after themselves, comes first. This gives them their first taste of prioritization. Next, help your child formulate a plan which enables them to efficiently handle their responsibilities while still leaving time for sports practices and competitions. For example, show your child how working on homework instead of playing outside during their after-school program helps them finish their homework in time for practice each day. Then go ahead and make that part of your plan.

Learn About Dealing with Adversity
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has problems. How well you handle these mistakes and problems directly affects happiness and quality of life. Many people 'get in a slump' and cant get out of it. Others continue making the same mistakes over and over again. In sports, we always try to minimize errors, but were human. Mistakes happen. Even professional athletes make bad choices and make bad plays, but its not the mistake that counts. What you do from that point forward carries much more significance. If your child learns how to deal with adversity, errors, and challenges in sports, chances are, theyll be able to translate that skill to real life and effectively minimize mistakes and/or bad decisions as well as competently recover from set backs.

Have Fun!
Positive experiences play an essential role in raising a happy, healthy human being. Sports provide numerous opportunities for positive experiences both for your child as an individual, and for your family as a whole. 'Sports parents' are blessed with the chance to watch their child have fun while learning and developing as an athlete and as a human being.

Stacie Mahoe
Owner - www.AllAboutFastpitch.com
For more sports-related articles visit www.AllAboutFastpitch.com

By Cynthia Hammer, MSW, Director of ADD Resources

I belong to an online discussion group for ADHD professionals. A topic of interest lately has been, "Can ADHD ever be a positive in a person's life?" sparked by Dr. Hallowell's continued belief that ADHD can be a positive in a person's life if properly managed. Is there anything positive about having ADHD even when properly managed? Or does getting your ADHD "properly managed" just make your difficult life less difficult?

The positive attributes of ADHD that are often cited are energy, humor, creativity, empathy, and intelligence. Are these characteristics truly a part of ADHD the same way disorganization, procrastination, impulsivity and distractibility are. According to Sam Goldstein, Ph.D. there is no research demonstrating consistent positive traits in people with ADHD.

I am reminded of Louis Braille, blind from birth, who, when asked if he would like to be sighted, answered, "I would prefer to have more sensitive fingers." He had no idea what the other choice–sightedness–would be like. He only knew his life would be easier to navigate if he had more sensitive fingers. For those of us with ADHD, we will never know what life is like without ADHD. Perhaps, like Mr. Braille's sensitive fingers, our disability gives us some special abilities, but we will never know if these special abilities make up for what we are missing. So for me the question is not whether or not ADHD is a blessing or a curse. We can't change what we have been given. The question for me is "Are we making the most of what/who we are?"

~~Cynthia Hammer, MSW, Director
ADD Resources
www.addresources.org
Creators of the National ADHD Directory

For more information on ADD/ADHD visit our website at www. addresources.org

To view a complete listing of national ADD/ADHD events visit www. addresources.org/calendar_natl.php

By Kent Pinkerton

What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet child went and who the angry and rebellious child is that took his or her place. After all, adolescence is a time of change. While each child is different, there are some behaviors that all normal teens seem to exhibit. These include: acting moody and/or rude, complaining about parental interference, experimenting with sex and/or drugs, searching for a sense of identity, showing less affection to parents and/or siblings.

Unfortunately, some teens are more troubled than others and may spiral out of control. These teens are at higher risk of developing serious problems such as substance abuse and addiction, eating disorders, failure in school, legal problems, pregnancy, and in the worst-case scenario, attempted suicide. The difficulty for parents lies in trying to interrupt their teen's downward spiral and replace it with positive steps to help him or her regain a healthy way of life.

Often the hardest part for parents is to admit that they can't do it alone and that their teen needs professional help. Once they can do that, parents will find that there is help available for troubled teens. Some of the options available to parents include boarding schools, boot camps, military style schools, and even residential treatment centers. Deciding which type of program or facility is best suited to help your teen with his or her issues can be a daunting task. Each program or facility will have a different philosophy toward treatment and techniques to achieve results. Parents must do a little research, and whenever possible, take the time to visit facilities and meet the staff to ensure that it's a good fit for their troubled teen.

The most effective programs or facilities offer a number of key components to help troubled teens deal with their issues. These components include academics to enable teens to earn high school credit while they attend the program, as well as recreation, exercise and social opportunities. Other components may include reinforcement of appropriate behavior, family involvement that helps families understand and rebuild problems, as well as personal and emotional development.

Troubled Teens Info provides detailed information on schools, programs, camps, and homes for troubled teens. Troubled Teens Info is the sister site of Relationships Web.

By Aurelia Williams

* Model good self-esteem: Express through your actions and words that you respect yourself. Children are wonderful at imitating what they see and hear. Remember, you are your childs best role model.

* Create positive routines: Young children need routines to help them to feel secure and competent. Try to set a good schedule for bedtime, rest/naps, meals, etc. Try to keep exceptions to the routine to a minimum and explain any necessary changes if/when they occur.

* Allow many opportunities for children to contribute to the family: Give your child a job/chore that only he/she does for the family. Even a small job can have a positive lasting impact on your childs self esteem.

* Talk about the world in positive terms: Even though there is negativity in the world, dont dwell on it with your child. When with your child, be sure to point out the many positive things in the world.

* Spend time with your child: Remember quality is more important than quantity. Even if you spend just 30 minutes with your child one on one — playing games, taking walks, having long bedtime chats, or just snuggling in front of the TV, spending time with your child shows them that you value their company.

* Give your child choices: Giving your child choices between a reasonable set of options that are already predetermined by you will make them feel empowered.

Aurelia Williams is the host of Parenting My Teen Podcast and is also the owner of Real Life Solutions, a free resource site for moms.

By Aurelia Williams

* Model good self-esteem: Express through your actions and words that you respect yourself. Children are wonderful at imitating what they see and hear. Remember, you are your childs best role model.

* Create positive routines: Young children need routines to help them to feel secure and competent. Try to set a good schedule for bedtime, rest/naps, meals, etc. Try to keep exceptions to the routine to a minimum and explain any necessary changes if/when they occur.

* Allow many opportunities for children to contribute to the family: Give your child a job/chore that only he/she does for the family. Even a small job can have a positive lasting impact on your childs self esteem.

* Talk about the world in positive terms: Even though there is negativity in the world, dont dwell on it with your child. When with your child, be sure to point out the many positive things in the world.

* Spend time with your child: Remember quality is more important than quantity. Even if you spend just 30 minutes with your child one on one — playing games, taking walks, having long bedtime chats, or just snuggling in front of the TV, spending time with your child shows them that you value their company.

* Give your child choices: Giving your child choices between a reasonable set of options that are already predetermined by you will make them feel empowered.

Aurelia Williams is the host of Parenting My Teen Podcast and is also the owner of Real Life Solutions, a free resource site for moms.

By Brook Noel

Children with healthy self-esteems try hard in school, get along well with others, hold a 'can-do' attitude about life, and feel positive about their environment. They can accept ups and downs graciously. The opposite is true of children who suffer from low self-esteems. These children compare themselves to others and never feel they have done well enough. They are frustrated easily and fear risk and challenge. Children with low self-esteems can easily fall prey to peer pressure, eating disorders, and other dangers.

You can help a child who has a low self-esteem by examining the reasons behind it. You can also encourage the continuity of those children who have healthy self-esteems. By using a positive, can-do attitude in your home, you will pass that attitude on to your child. Try the following ideas to encourage a positive self-esteem:

EXAMINE YOURSELF AND YOUR ATTITUDE Children learn by example. If you hold a high self-esteem and think positively, odds are your child will to. If you suffer from a low self-esteem you will need to examine your current patterns of thinking and work on changing them.

SEEK OUT THE POSITIVE This does not mean you need to be a Pollyanna but you should search for the positive side of things. When your child comes to you with a problem, ask questions and pursue the positive side. The same goes for how you act in your own endeavors. When things go wrong look for the up side.

RELATE TO YOUR CHILD Parents often will sit and tell the humorous stories of their past. There is probably much more your child would like to hear. When your child comes to you with a dilemma, share your own experience. Even though you may be years apart your child may find relief that you have had times of self-doubt and concern.

WHY ASK WHY? If your child uses statements like 'I cant' or other statements that show he is frustrated or giving up, ask 'Why cant you?' Asking these questions may frustrate your child and you may hear answers like 'I dont know… I just cant!' Try bringing the subject up later when the intensity of the situation has lessened. Then ask 'Earlier today you said you could not solve that puzzle, why dont you think you could solve it?' By exploring reasons together you may find the source of a low self-esteem.

IDENTIFY STRENGTHS Another way to increase self-esteem is to emphasize a childs strong points. If he is good in art but doesnt do well in sports–work with him and praise him on his art. By developing a feeling of confidence in one area, that confidence may spread into another area of a childs life.

PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT Praise and encouragement are essential vitamins for a child. Encourage all children and praise them for situations where they put their 'all' into it, no matter what the result. Filling your vocabulary with positive statements and providing a positive environment are big steps in helping your child build a healthy self-esteem.

Brook Noel is an international best-selling author and has written over 10 books. Her newest book The Change Your Life Challenge: A 70 Day Life Makeover Program for Women has helped thousands of women improve relationships, finances, home management, self-esteem, fitness, self-care, stress and depression you can visit the website at http://www.changeyourlifechallenge.com/.

By Rachel Evans

There are techniques for potty training a normally developing child. These practices are fairly universal, but for the most part, they do not apply to the autistic child. Toilet training an autistic child requires some adjustment to basic strategies.

When potty training a normally developing child it is common for parents to use prizes and rewards to reinforce the behavior being taught. However, when it comes to autistic children, they do not usually react in the same way to positive reinforcement.

Sometimes they may acknowledge it and other times it can be totally ignored. Autism is a disorder in which social interactions are impaired. Some autistic children may even avoid close relationships with their own parents, preferring to be alone or detached. This must be taken into consideration when drawing up a plan for potty training.

Furthermore, autistic children may not have an understanding of why it is important to relieve themselves in the toilet. This breakdown in communication is extremely important to address.

Many autistic children do not speak. This creates another problem in terms of potty training. However, one of the most difficult challenges seems to be breaking autistic children out of rigidly adhered to routines. Many autistic children become attached to routines and find them difficult to break out of. An autistic child switching from diapers to underwear might sense this as a threatening change. The noise of the toilet flushing could also bother them.

If youve looked into methods of how autistic children learn then you are aware that most are extreme visual learners. Instead of using words to communicate the importance of toilet training to autistic toddlers, it is best to utilize visuals. The rate of success in toilet training using visual cues over verbal ones in toddlers with autism has been well documented. In fact, there is an entire industry of products related to helping teach autistic toddlers how to be properly potty trained.

In terms of the visuals that can be employed, the most common type is a series of pictures, similar to a comic book that relates the behavior that is going to be taught. These cards demonstrate the entire process of using the toilet and include information on what happens after the toilet process is finished. If youre comfortable with the idea, let your child see you use the toilet. This visual cue will reinforce what you are telling them.

One of the other difficulties of potty training an autistic child is the fact that many of them do not sense the need to use the bathroom and are prone to having accidents. One of the ways this can be addressed in through the use of a timer. Timing out when the child should go to the bathroom can turn the urge to go into a routine.

As mentioned earlier, autistic children are often fiercely opposed to change. When beginning potty training do not expect to succeed all at once. The process should be taken slow and steady, completely at the pace of your child.

Although autism is a disorder that impairs the ability to communicate in a social manner it is possible for many autistic children to learn how to function independently. Potty training is one of the most important steps that will influence the life of an autistic child. If you want further information on potty training autistic children, there are plenty of resources and experts that can lead you in the right direction.

Rachel Evans has an interest in Autism. For further information on Autism please visit http://www.essential-guide-to-autism.com/autism.html or http://www.essential-guide-to-autism.com/blog/2006/08/18/potty-training/ .

By John White

All Children Learn Differently

It is essential for parents not to worry about what their friends daughter is doing but to look at their own daughter. If they are worried that they are not at the level of development that they should be, then they should talk to a professional on the matter. That would be the childs doctor or their teacher. These individuals will assess things like hearing, sight and language barriers. They can also help to screen for any learning disabilities that may be holding your child back. These are not necessarily things that are going to be obvious to you, especially when a child is young, but working through these types of problems now, can mean success down the road.

What is important to understand, though, is that all children learn differently. Most children do not follow a specific chart for learning. It is not like they hit the age of one and all just get up and walk. In some cases, the child will learn to walk at nine months while others take longer maybe even 14 months or more. This does not mean there is something wrong, just that this is when they are ready to do it.

When children are learning, one of the most beneficial things for parents to do is to commit to providing them with the resources that they need to succeed. This can be educational learning games and learning toys. It can also be one on one time doing things together. Or, it can be reading a book every night before bed. When a child is older, providing reinforcement to what they learn in a school setting also is helpful. Perhaps they are learning about volcanoes. Build one with your child.

When a child is provided with the elements that he needs to succeed and there is still some holding back, it is time to take the child to see if there are developmental problems. Again, instead of feeling sorry about the problems that are found, those parents that seek out the necessary remedy to the situation will ultimately provide the best development for their child.

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John White, the webmaster of childrenstreet.com, is a part of the Sharing Information Group that provides useful information to the public through the syndication of free articles.

By Patricia Twitchell

Do you have a child or grandchild getting ready to start the school year? If yes, you are in a position to make the experience a great one.

The first few days of school can be exciting and yet, overwhelming for many young students. It is a time of change for parents, grandparents and children.

How you handle yourself can directly impact the childs experience. The younger the child the more important it is for the parent (or legal guardian) to do whatever they can to make it a positive experience.

Starting school can be challenging for many, yet, with some simple steps the experience can be one that will be remembered as fun and enjoyable. Often, we forget how it was for us when we started out on the big adventure. In doing so, we may not realize what the child is going through. Here are a few simple steps you can take to make the experience a positive one. 1. Make this an exciting experience for your child. Everything leading up to the first day will determine how your child will view the experience. What you do when you shop for clothes, for school supplies and the conversations at the dinner table can lay the foundation for a great experience. If you are positive about what they will encounter, chances are your child will be. 2. Take the time to meet teachers. Also take time to visit the school with your child in order to alleviate any anxiety they may have. 3. Avoid minimizing your childs concerns. Take the time to listen to what they have to say rather than saying something like, 'You shouldnt feel that way.' Whatever they are feeling is real. By listening and acknowledging their concerns you can help them alleviate their concerns. 4. Realize you may go through some separation anxiety. If you and your child are extremely close, the first day of school can be just as trying for you as for them. 5. Make sure they have all your contact information in the case of an emergency. Set ground rules for when it is appropriate to call you. 6. Have time set aside in the evening where you can check in with your child to hear about their experiences. Be genuinely interested in what they are learning and discovering. 7. Always remember to take time to connect with your child before they head out for school. Take a few extra minutes to make sure they know you love them. By taking a few simple steps towards making the experience a positive one you are laying the foundation for your child to do well.

About the author Patricia Twitchell is the proprietor of Just Bears and Stuff, a unique gift shop located in Myrtle Creek, Oregon. Whether visiting the shop or browsing the website, you can enjoy one of the best selections of Boyds, Gund, Cottage Collectibles, Quarry Critters, Ganz and more.. Receive 'Beary Special Moments' a free online teddy bear facts and tips e-zine by visiting www.justbearsandstuff.com