By Wayne Gillie

'Im dumb'

'Im stupid'

'Im just not good enough'

'I hate myself'

'I wish I wasnt born'

These are all examples of negative self-talk, one of the most destructive habits that a child (or an adult for that matter) can have. Unfortunately this is all too common amongst children today. In just about every classroom teachers will be able to identify children who put themselves down, and typically the comments they make will be totally out of all proportion to the reality of any situation they may be facing.

Negative self-talk is much worse than many other bad habits (like biting fingernails) that people develop, because it attacks their own identity, and invariably leads to problems such as: * low self-esteem; * unhappiness; * inability to make friends, and * poor performance in school.

If your child has been engaged in negative self-talk, you need to act NOW. If it has just started you need to nip the problem in the bud, NOW. If it has been going on for some time, you need to act NOW to prevent it from becoming an entrenched habit.

Here are some steps that you can take to help your child:

1. Let your child know regularly that he or she is loved. Show this love in words and in actions.

2. Look for opportunities to praise your child for achievements or positive behaviors. Be real in your comments, but not flattering - children are experts at detecting insincerity!

3. Look for opportunities to praise your child when talking to others. This is especially effective if you are talking to a friend and your child is in an adjacent room and in earshot but is not a part of the conversation.

4. Find a time when your child is in a good mood, and give some instruction on how and why you would like them to stop the negative self-talk. Discuss together some appropriate responses to the incidents that have tended to lead to this problem. Get an agreement on the right way to respond!

5. If the negative talk starts, kindly but firmly put a stop to it straight away. Remind your child of the agreement you made together.

The aim is for children to have a positive and healthy self-image but without an inflated ego. If you suspect the problems your child has are deep seated and not responding to your efforts, it is recommended that you seek professional advice from a qualified psychologist or family counselor.

Wayne and Jenny Gillie are parents and school teachers, and have established www.buildkidsconfidence.com as a resource for parents and teachers who want to improve the self confidence of their children or students.

Tags: Five Keys, Negative Self talk

By Tony Robinson

These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.

Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.

Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your childs development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.

Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each childs progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching.

This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children. Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished. This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students.

Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.

Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.

Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience.

Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.

When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.

Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack of confidence with some students. For more information visit http://www.better-self-esteem.com

Tags: Positive Reinforcement, Self Confidence

By Tony Robinson

These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.

Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born. Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things. Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis.

Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read. Each step in your childs development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner. This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.

Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom. Carefully monitor each childs progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching. This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children. Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished.

This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence. Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students. Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence. Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.

Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence. Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals. A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills. These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities.

Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake. Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished. A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience.

Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.

When working with children of any age, you must lead by example. If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well. Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.

Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack of confidence with some students. For more information visit http://www.better-self-esteem.com

Tags: Child Succeed, Self Confidence

By Mary Hanna

There are a few tools you will need to get started; purchase the doll at a childrens store or website and get use to how it works. 'Big Kid' underwear is your next purchase to get the child use to not using diapers. You will also need a potty chair or a potty seat cover to dismiss any fears your child will have of the big opening on the toilet. These will get you started on training your child to use the bathroom.

Start the process together. The child needs to name the doll, usually after someone, like a cartoon or someone they consider to be a Hero. Have the child feed the doll some water, then both of you walk to the potty chair pull down the dolls underwear, place it on the seat, and press on its stomach so it expels the water into the potty chair/seat. When thats done make a big deal out of it with maybe horns or noise makers, or cookies and milk. This conveys to the child that using the potty is a good thing. The psychology here is that if their Hero does it and gains praise, then maybe your child should do it too. All young children thrive on praise from their parents.

Now is also the time to get rid of the diapers and introduce the Big Kid underwear to the child. Remember, the Hero Doll just used the underwear and wouldnt your child want to be just like their Hero? Start giving the child a lot of liquids to encourage the use of the potty; this reinforces the need to use the potty.

Ask frequently if they need to go to the potty. Remember young children are not yet programmed to head to the potty when an urge is felt. Since they have been born they have just acted on that urge immediately. You need to train them to use the potty when they feel the urge and by mentioning it frequently they will get the hint.

When they are ready, take them to the potty and help them pull down their underwear. If you are successful in this endeavor praise the child profusely. This will be a positive reinforcement. Never, never ever scold a child if they have an accident because using negative attitudes will undo all your hard work in trying to get the child trained.

After your child has used the potty for the first time, it is time to get the milk and cookies out again to make him/her feel special, once more, turn the event into a positive rewarding experience.

Well you might say, thats great information but when do I start? There are a zillion schools of thought on this. Some say as early as six months while others think it easier to train children when they are older. The best advice I have seen is to let your child tell you!

Weve all seen little kids scrunch their faces and make grunting noises when the feel the need to 'eliminate'. This is your cue that they are getting ready, so why not start right then. If they are completely against the potty training they will let you know, but if you follow the steps outlined above it will work.

Try to make this experience seem positive so that it will be virtually painless for both you and your child.

Good Luck!

Visit Mary Hannas websites at: Potty Training Herb Gardening and Cruise Reviews or contact her at mary@webmarketingreviews.com

Tags: Potty Chair, Potty Dolls

By Lori S. Anton

Responsible behavior doesn't come naturally; it is a learned trait. It is important for parents to teach their children responsible behavior at an early age; a healthy respect for the feelings of others, and a strong sense of right and wrong.

Combined with setting a good example and involvement in a young child's development of social skills, spend quality time with your child and instruct them about proper, responsible behavior. It can go a long way in helping to correct behavior problems that could lead to serious consequences down the road.

Everyday experiences are a parent's best tool when it comes to teaching responsible behavior. Because this type behavior is a learned trait, it can become habit through repetitiveness.

Parents can effectively teach children with both words and deeds. Parents can always tell a child to respect others, and they may or may not comply in any given situation. But, when a parent consistently shows respect for other's opinions, feelings, and possessions, they teach their children to do the same.

Actions & Words = Effective Training Methods

Our daily actions, attitudes, and social skills speak louder and much more effectively than words. As children watch what we do and ask questions, a golden opportunity is presented to teach valuable "life-lessons."

"Mommy, why did you let that old lady skip in front of us?"

"Because she had only a few things to buy and we have a full cartload. I didn't want her to have to stand in line for a long time."

"Do you know her?"

"No. I've never met her before."

"Then how do you know she didn't want to wait in line."

"Because she looked uncomfortable, and seemed to be in a hurry."

By exhibiting responsible, considerate behavior toward others, children learn from our actions. As we encourage questions and answer in ways that explain why we did something, children better understand and become more conscientious of other people's needs instead of just their own.

Story Time…A Golden Opportunity to Teach Responsibility

Another good method for teaching children responsible behavior is with the use of stories. Most children are enthusiastic when it comes to having someone read them a story. Select books that teach life-lessons, and then discuss what was read. Encourage the child to ask questions, seeking the opportunity to emphasize good character traits, and the awareness that all actions - good or bad - will have consequences.

Every Day Presents Opportunities of Its Own

Consistency and application are keys when teaching small children about responsible behavior. Spend time with your child regularly. Encourage them to tell you about their day and things that happened; what they thought or felt, what they saw or heard, what they did or wanted to do. Use every opportunity to stimulate thoughts of awareness.

Put emphasis on positive feelings, emotions, and qualities such as bravery, thoughtfulness, compassion, honesty, kindness, etc. Help your children identify these traits in persons they know, characters they see on television, or people they read about. Help them to identify and cultivate these qualities in themselves. At the end of each day, ask, "How were you honest today?" or "Tell me two ways you were considerate to someone else today."

Show Children How to Handle Negative Feelings Responsibly

Also help children explore acceptable ways to effectively deal with negative feelings such as anger, hurt, resentment, loneliness, etc. If a child expresses feelings of anger toward someone, avoid the urge to say that anger is wrong; instead, explore their feelings of anger with them.

Ask why they were angry, or ask them to tell you how angry they were. Help them understand that while it is natural to feel angry at times, how we express that anger is very important. There are acceptable ways to express anger, as well as unacceptable ways.

Tell them a story or cite an example of someone who experienced a particular negative feeling, then ask your child questions like, "What should Becky have done when she got angry?" or, "Why do you think Eric was lonely? What could he have done about it?"

Helping a child to understand the feelings of others as well as their own, and appropriate ways to express those feelings, are big strides toward learning responsible behavior.

By spending time with your child on a regular basis and teaching through example and discussion, you equip your child with good socialization skills, and cultivate responsible behaviors sure to benefit them and others around them for a lifetime.

Lori S. Anton has been a published writer for nearly 30 years. She is founder and editor of Writers Write Now, offering original professionally written SEO custom content, quick content, and free content for web sites. Visit Writers Write Now.

Lori is also editor for the Savvy Baby Gear web site at http://www.savvy-baby-gear.com, your one-stop shop for everything today's parents of

 

Tags: Child Responsible Behavior, Practical Ways

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Most of us do not like to be controlled, and children are no exception. While they may comply in certain areas to avoid punishment, they will likely resist in other areas.

WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR CHILD OF ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL HIM OR HER?

Your choice to control always has negative consequences for your children. It is important to connect your controlling behavior with the consequences that may result. While controlling might work in the short run, it can create many problems in the long run.

What are the problems you are having?

* My child and I get into power struggles.

* My child does what I want most of the time but becomes resistant in certain areas. My child resists:

Taking a bath or shower

Brushing teeth

Going to bed

Doing homework Getting ready for school

Learning

Going to school

Reading

Keeping his or room clean

Doing chores

Telling the truth

Dressing appropriately for school

Using appropriate language

Looking nice

Being kind and considerate

Being on time

Talking with me

Having my values

Eating well

Caring about his or her health. Instead, he or she:

Smokes

Drinks alcohol

Smokes pot

Uses drugs

Eats junk

Caring about his or her safety. Instead, he or she:

Rides a motorcycle without a helmet

Drinks or uses drugs and drives

Drives recklessly

Has unprotected sex

Walks in dangerous areas

Calling when he or she is going to be late

Caring about what is important to me

Being loving to me

Listening to me

Getting a job

* My child never does what I ask. He or she is always resistant.

* My child suffers from low self-esteem.

* My child is depressed.

* My child feels unloved.

* My child is bossy with other kids . * My child is tense, anxious, angry and/or unhappy.

* My child beats up on younger kids.

*My child does not take personal responsibility.

WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES TO YOU OF TRYING TO CONTROL YOUR CHILD?

Your controlling behavior may also have negative consequences for you, especially in the long run.

What are the consequences for you?

* Parenting is not fun. It feels like a burden.

* I feel resentful toward my child.

* I am tired of the power struggles.

* I feel tense, anxious, angry or frustrated.

* I feel like a failure as a parent.

* My child and I do not have fun together.

* I feel rageful and out of control.

* I feel overwhelmed.

Parenting really can become a wonderfully fulfilling experience when you learn to parent as a loving and respectful adult rather than from the fear and insecurity that underlies controlling behavior.

The secret of letting go of controlling parenting is to learn what it means to be kind to yourself. If your focus is on being kind to your children but not to yourself, you will likely become a permissive parent, which has just as many negative consequences as controlling parenting. When you focus on being kind to yourself, you naturally refuse to tolerate unkind behavior from your children. However, instead of trying to control your children, you learn to take care of yourself. By learning to take loving action in your own behalf and setting logical consequences for your childrens unacceptable behavior, your children will learn to take personal responsibility far more quickly than when you attempt to force it on them.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. best-selling author of eight books, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Tags: Authoritarian Parenting, Self Esteem

By Groshan Fabiola

It can be difficult for parents of troubled teens to find solutions on how to help their child who is spiraling out of control. If your teen is having trouble respecting authority and is failing at school, be aware that there are numerous options that are available to help get your troubled teen on the right path. Some teens who are troubled struggle with substance abuse, identity issues, and familial relationships. As a parent you need to know that you are not alone and there are options such as boarding schools to help your troubled teen get on the right path.

There are numerous types of treatment options for troubled teens. Places such as residential treatment centers, boarding schools, boot camps, and wilderness camps are all established to help troubled teens. There have been a lot of negative connotations in the past regarding boarding schools. But as time has progressed and the programs have evolved, their success rate is something that is a positive aspect of the system.

Sending your troubled teen to a boarding school can be a difficult decision to make for a parent. But if things are not improving at home, an outside influence could be what is needed to offset the destructive behavior your troubled teen is displaying. Boarding schools have trained staff and a regimented structure that will help troubled teens escape whatever negative influences were around them back home. Also, because of the stricter discipline that is in place at boarding schools, troubled teens will have to become responsible for their actions.

One of the most important things about sending your troubled teen to a boarding school is the treatment does not end when they get home. As a concerned parent, you need to ensure the programs instilled in your rehabilitated teen are continued.

For more resources about Boarding Schools or even about Teen boarding schools and especially about Teens with Bipolar Disorder please review these links.

 

Tags: Boarding Schools, Troubled Teens

By Deanna Mascle

The truth is that both parties have a share in the truth. There is probably too much emphasis on self-esteem today and self-esteem development is crucial. However middle ground can be found between the two groups. The emphasis shouldnt be on building self-esteem but rather helping children learn and grow so they naturally develop a feeling of worth and value.

Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. If you child has high self-esteem she is likely to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in her accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, and offer assistance to others. If your child has low self-esteem he will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for his own shortcomings, feel (or pretend to feel) emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, put down his own talents and abilities, and be easily influenced.

Parents have the most influence on their childs self-esteem. Most parents do not realize how great an impact their words and actions have on their child.

Be Quick With Praise

When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but often dont get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesnt know when you are feeling good about him unless you tell him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and 'replay' these statements to themselves. Make a point of giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day. Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job, working hard, trying a new challenge, overcoming a difficulty or displaying a talent.

Lay It On Thick

Be generous with your praise. Use what is called descriptive praise rather than the general, such as 'good job'. For example, during a recent swimming lesson my son was expected to swim the length of the pool. He was frightened and didnt think he could make it. When he successfully accomplished the goal I told him I was proud of him for two things. One for trying even though he was afraid hed fail and two for pushing himself to reach his goal.

Make Them Talk The Talk

Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is frequently the root cause of depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel about ourselves and those feelings determine how we behave. This is the reason it is important to teach children talk to themselves in a positive manner. You can start them off by asking directed questions.

Avoid Name Calling

While it is often important for parents to be critical, the focus should be on the action you would like to see rather than the child. Rather than calling a child a slob for keeping a messy room focus on the desired action, which is to sort clothes and toys into their proper places. Encourage the child by saying something like 'I know you can get this place ship shape by dinner' and reward them with specific praise 'You did a great job cleaning up your room'.

Always Speak Of Your Child As If They Were Listening

Many parents do a wonderful job of building up their childs self esteem while spending time with the child. Then later they undo all their good work and let the child overhear some negative comments. It is difficult to explain away or undo this damage as you may well not even know when it occurs. Obviously parents need to communicate with each other about their children and adults often need to vent their frustrations. Just make sure when you do so that your child is not able to overhear. Even a child who is apparently concentrating on play will perk his ears when he hears his name.

If you follow these five methods then your childs self esteem will grow.

Deanna Mascle shares more parenting advice in her blog Parents Learn More at http://ParentsLearnMore.com

Tags: Childs Self Esteem, Success of Children

By Sarah K. Jenkins

The obvious victim of ADD is the child it affects. Being accustomed to negativity, these children usually suffer from very low self-esteem. Although they want to behave well, they have impulsive actions that typically result in constant punishment. Parents and teachers of an ADD child often are not aware or do not accept that the child suffers from a disorder and they are not always acting on a conscience level. The child, after being reprimanded and not being able to control their actions, is left feeling as though they will never be adequate or meet everyone elses expectations.

The parents of an ADD child suffer from incredible frustration and doubt of their parenting skills. Often ridiculed by teachers, family members, and other acquaintances, they are often viewed as being the cause of their childs behavior, as though lack of discipline is the root cause of their childs actions. Attention Deficit Disorder sometimes places a strain on the parents marital relationship as well, as parents blame each other for being overly lenient or harsh in their rearing habits. This can lead to many arguments and disagreements that prove to be difficult on spouses.

An often forgotten casualty of Attention Deficit Disorder is the siblings of a child with ADD. Often not apparent, siblings in this situation often experience similar frustration and anxiety as the parents and child with ADD. Jealously sometimes plays a factor in their feelings as their sibling requires so much more attention, even if it is negative in nature. Also, these children often get the brunt of their siblings impulsive actions, including aggressive behavior typical of ADD. These children may also find themselves being categorized in school and other social environments because of their siblings behavior, which can also have a negative connotation.

In addition to immediate family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins may also be affected when a child has ADD. Depending on the closeness of the family, behavior outbursts and discipline issues may be a factor dealt with on various levels. In extreme cases, ADD may actually cause some familial relationships to be severed.

Sarah is an acclaimed writer on medical matters, and has written extensively on the subjects of Attention Deficit Disorder, Bird Flu and Crohns Disease. For more of her articles, go to http://www.imedicalvillage.com now. Click here now and re

Tags: ADD Affects, Familial Relationship

By Destry Maycock, MSW

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock has over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Visit http://www.parentingstore.com to see the latest parenting programs.

 

Tags: Childs Behavior, Positive Reinforcement

By Destry Maycock

Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.

Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.

Destry Maycock, MSW has had over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing tools that help parents with the difficult but rewarding duty of raising children. His most recent creations can be found at http://www.parentingstore.com

 

Tags: Childs Behavior, Positive Reinforcement

By Jenny Gill

Most parents would like to give their child a good head start in school. Reading is a vitally important skill and spelling is an integral part of reading. Parents can find a list of 1st grade spelling words to practice with their child and help them get the jump start that they need.

Flooding your child with too much information too soon may overwhelm him. If he enters the classroom already knowing the information and skills developed in the curriculum he may become bored. The boredom could lead to behavior problems. Not that using a list of 1st grade spelling words guarantees behavioral troubles in the classroom but too much preparation can work against your child in school.

Also, its possible to turn your child against reading and writing if you push too much information on him too soon. He may become frustrated if he is not ready to learn 1st grade spelling words quite yet.

We know that children tend to imitate their parents. What parents say and do every day can help children to develop positive attitudes toward school and learning. Years of research show clearly that children are more likely to succeed in learning when their families actively support them. Every child has the power to succeed in school and in life and every parent, family member and caregiver can help.

If you want to help prepare your child for school, follow the lead of his teacher. There are specific steps that teachers take to ensure that their students will comfortably enjoy learning to read and write. They start by developing a list of 1st grade spelling words that are commonly used in stories and in everyday situations. Words like dog, cat, say, red and hen are common words for the 1st grade spelling words.

These familiar words are introduced to the class systematically. The children learn the words by sight and sound as they are presented by the teacher. The 1st grade spelling words in most cases are associated with a story that your child will bring home to read with you. This gives your child an opportunity to see the words and listen to how they function in a sentence.

Even though the list of 1st grade spelling words are not going to be studied in great depth, reading them in stories helps your child understand that the word serves a specific function. He also comes to realize that concrete objects are associated with language as well.

The English language can be complex. Introducing spelling and grammar in fun ways can make all the difference to a childs success in this area. Using a list of 1st grade spelling words to create a fun world of stories and a feeling of comfort and confidence for the child will pave the way to a bright reading and writing future.

Author: Jenny Gill is an international author with vast experience in a diverse range of subjects, for more information visit www.totaleducationsyte.com

Jenny Gill is an international author with an immense range of knowledge and skills in a wide range of areas. Jenny is a mother and a grandmother and devotes a lot of her time supporting the aged in her community.

Tags: Introducing Spelling, Spelling Words

By Denise Underwood

Montessori also found that children, from early in the first year of life, pass through a series of 'sensitive periods where they are absorbed' when they are absorbed in one element of their environment with an intense desire to explore that aspect, often repeating many times actions related to that interest until this leads into the next phase. Grasping the opportunities for development in each 'sensitive period' is most important.

Consequently, the Montessori classroom is devised as a total environment to aid the childs development into a fully integrated and independent individual, with areas which cater for all the 'sensitive periods' which appear in the age range of the classroom. This classroom is composed of three essential parts: the child, the prepared environment and the director/directress.

The child teaches himself/herself using especially designed Montessori equipment, which is attractive and self-correcting. In this classroom the teacher is known as a director/directress, as he/she acts as a guide and facilitator, demonstrating new activities and pieces of equipment to individual children or small groups. In a child-centred classroom, with each child working at their own pace, the director/directress also observes and monitors their progress to assist and encourage their activities and interests.

The Montessori classroom is non-competitive and, because a child may choose his/her own activities and do them at his/her own pace, the child has many opportunities for success and is able to build a positive self-image.

The pre-school programme is designed to cover an important three-year development span of the child. Between the age of three and six years this development is characterised by increasing abilities to explore the environment. During the first year the child is introduced primarily to the practical life and sensorial apparatus. These refine skills and help the child function in the classroom and at home. Further work in these areas helps prepare the child for concepts and co-ordination needed for maths and language work.

The third year is the culmination of the programme with the previous two years preparing the child for creative and meaningful exploration and progress in many areas. Often it appears to parents that the child develops greatly in the first year of the programme but outwardly shows little progress in the second year. Yet these first two years are laying the foundations. Many of the benefits of the Montessori approach are only truly seen in the third year when concepts and skills come to fruition and the love of learning becomes a real part of the child.

Socially, in the third year, the opportunity exists for the child to develop leadership qualities, self-confidence, caring attitudes towards others and a sense of responsibility as he/she interacts with the younger children and in his/her own social group of the older children.

Denise Underwood is the Directress for The Childrens House Montessori Pre-School situated in Sydney, Australia. You can find out more information on the Montessori method and about this pre-school by visiting http://www.thechildrenshousemontessori.com.au.

Tags: Method of Education, Montessori School

By Carl DiNello

The United States may in fact be the richest country in terms of technology, and natural resources, but the majority of its citizens suffer from various kinds of disorders ranging from simple depression, as a result of too much societal pressure, all the way up to very serious disorders requiring long term clinical treatment.

One of the more serious disorders that effects both the young and the old is bipolar disorder. While bipolar disorder will affect people of all ages, it is most often detected, or diagnosed in adulthood. Today, we find an increase in teen bipolar disorder, as well as an increase of children showing signs of potentially having this problem.

Bipolar disorder occurs as a result of hormonal imbalances in a person's brain. It is often considered hereditary due to the increased risk of getting the disorder should a person have a parent with the problem.

Bipolar disorder is most commonly identified with manic and depressive symptoms. Symptoms that are characterized by rapid and extreme mood changes resulting in a person behaving in a manner that cannot be classified as rational.

Usually diagnosed in adulthood, bipolar disorder affects an increasing number of our younger children, and our teenagers. We are learning to recognize teen bipolar disorder more efficiently. The rapid changes in the mood of teenagers are no longer being taken for granted, and treated as regular mood swings common among their age group. Many parents are now aware that their may be something more going on with their teenagers than just bad behavior.

Bipolar disorder affects how the mind functions, and as a result, drastic mood changes can always be expected. A teenager with bipolar disorder will often feel hilarious one moment, and totally depressed just moments later.

Teenagers suffering from teen bipolar disorder can also display manic, or obsessive behavior. Parents sometimes dismiss this behavior as being ordinary teenage attitude. But, there is a strong possibility that the teenager may be exhibiting symptoms of bipolar disorder.

All teenagers go through their own highs and lows depending, but the symptoms of mania and depression exhibited by a teenager can be recognized by swift and intense mood changes that is beyond those normally felt by teenagers.

Teenagers, who display excessive energy, can't sit still, or who talk incessantly about a single or several topics for days may be exhibiting symptoms of teen bipolar disorder. In the same manner, teenagers who exhibit reckless behavior, or sexual promiscuity may also be exhibiting symptoms of teen bipolar disorder.

A teenager exhibiting manic or depressive symptoms, or perhaps both, who turns to alcohol, drugs, or promiscuity, should be carefully evaluated by a medical professional. A teenager demonstrating this behavior usually does so because it may be their only way of coping with bipolar disorder. Not only are alcohol and the use of drugs not a solution to someone with teen bipolar disorder, they will only make the disorder worse.

Parents be vigilant when observing the attitudes of their teenagers. Do not take dramatic changes in attitude as typical teenage behavior, it may well be a symptom to teen bipolar disorder.

Carl DiNello is an Article Author whose articles are featured on websites covering the Internets most popular topics.

To read more on this topic, please visit Bipolar Information %26 Resources!

 

 

Tags: Teen Bipolar, Teen Disorder

By Andre Bias

The internet has its positives and negatives. Some of its positive are the information it can provide people with, it is good for socializing with people, and if can be used to make money. One of many negative of the internet is that it can be used for the purpose of child enticement. Many parents may not have understood how big the problem was until dateline began to run child predator shows a few years back.

In these child predator show men are lured to a home with the impression that they are meeting a young boy or girl. Once they arrive they are surprised to see a journalist and cameras. The thing that dateline has done by doing this is alert parents of the dangers that are online so that they can make sure their child is not lured in by an adult. The shows may also entice some predators to get help so that they do not put themselves in a position to be exposed on national television as a pervert.

The best thing the shows do is let parents know that they have to educate themselves about the internet and advances in technology since it changes to often. When parents do not do that, that is when horrible things happen.

Andre Bias is the owner of the websites http://www.enlargementdeals.com, http://www.goodbyeacne.net, and http://www.inkjetdealz.com.

Tags: Child Enticement, Child Predators

By Andre Bias

The internet has its positives and negatives. Some of its positive are the information it can provide people with, it is good for socializing with people, and if can be used to make money. One of many negative of the internet is that it can be used for the purpose of child enticement. Many parents may not have understood how big the problem was until dateline began to run child predator shows a few years back.

In these child predator show men are lured to a home with the impression that they are meeting a young boy or girl. Once they arrive they are surprised to see a journalist and cameras. The thing that dateline has done by doing this is alert parents of the dangers that are online so that they can make sure their child is not lured in by an adult. The shows may also entice some predators to get help so that they do not put themselves in a position to be exposed on national television as a pervert.

The best thing the shows do is let parents know that they have to educate themselves about the internet and advances in technology since it changes to often. When parents do not do that, that is when horrible things happen.

Andre Bias is the owner of the websites http://www.enlargementdeals.com, http://www.goodbyeacne.net, and http://www.inkjetdealz.com.

Tags: Child Predators, Dateline Child

By Lokesh Monga

What are Boot Camps for Troubled Teens?

Teen boot camps are correctional programs for delinquent youth in a military-style environment. These programs typically emphasize discipline and physical conditioning and were developed as a rigorous alternative to longer terms of confinement in juvenile correctional facilities. Many, but not all, of these programs are followed by a period of probation or some form of aftercare. Boot camps are generally restricted to non-violent or first-time offenders.

The idea of "shock incarceration" as a tough, low-cost alternative to more intensive programming brought about the establishment of military-style boot camps for troubled teens.

Are Boot Camps Effective? Experts agree that a confrontational approach is often inappropriate. Most correctional and military experts agree that a confrontational model, employing tactics of intimidation and humiliation, is counterproductive for most troubled teens. The use of this kind of model has led to disturbing incidents of abuse. For youth with emotional, behavioral, or learning problems, degrading tactics may be particularly inappropriate and potentially damaging. The bullying style and aggressive interactions that characterize the boot camp environment fail to model the pro-social behavior and development of empathy that these youth really need to learn.

Positive changes demonstrated while in the boot camp may not last when a youth returns to his community. Many juveniles report that the program is helpful to them and they feel more positive about their futures. It is unclear, however, whether these attitudes persist after youth leave the boot camp, or whether they are related to actual changes in behavior once a youth returns to his community. Without significant therapeutic intervention while in the program, as well as specialized aftercare following release, boot camp programs have been consistently unsuccessful in "changing" juveniles.

What are the alternatives? Youth who need some form of treatment care require an individualized approach that takes their strengths and needs into account. Programs and policies should be family-centered, including the family in all decision making about a child, as well as culturally and developmentally appropriate. Research has shown that small, family-centered programs are more effective than boot camps in the long term.

You have made the right choice in seeking help. The next step is to contact us. We have a great deal of experience in the treatment care industry. We have worked in the industry. We have lived in the industry. We have seen what works …… and what doesn't.

Does Your Child Need a Boot Camp for Troubled Teens?

Often when teens struggle with the numerous issues they face in today's society they become, frankly, quite unpleasant. Thousands of families throughout the country have felt that the best way to get youth back on track is to send them to boot camps for troubled teens. The idea is to both "straighten them out" and to legally punish them in the most painful way possible. However, unreported in both the media and from these programs is the fact that there is very little statistical evidence that boot camps for troubled teens have a long-term impact on the success of the child. In fact, there is mounting evidence that they are both ineffective and in many cases detrimental.

But there are other options to boot camps for troubled teens. InsightPros is here to help.

We will guide you. We will inform you. Take advantage of our knowledge and insight. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Michael Behunin is the author of this article. For more information on this article or Boot Camps for Troubled Teens, please feel free to visit our site http://www.insightpros.com/

 

Tags: Boot Camps, Troubled Teens

By Razvan Rovinaru

The first thing you need to do after deciding to home educate you child is to develop a clear curriculum. The flexibility that comes with home based schooling allows you to teach something in many different ways which can be a positive thing but also a negative one, because you risk providing an unbalanced education that can affect your childs learning experience.

Setting a clear learning plan will help you be more effective as a teacher. A good start would be to look at the standard curriculum for his grade in a public or private school. This way you could notice the expectations for any given subject and decide on your targets and timeline.

Another very important aspect of home based schooling is discipline as you must draw a line between home and learning at home. The familiar environment can prove to be a distraction for your child. Thats why you, as the parent, must focus 100 percent on his education between 'school hours'. Imagine teaching your child at the same time as trying to cook dinner or watch the Monday night sitcom. This attitude will send him the message that his education is not a main priority to you and he will treat it likewise.

As you and your child learn together, not only will you develop a priceless learning experience but youll also strengthen your relationship with him - a very important benefit.

Free Home Based Schooling Information, Advice and Help.

Tags: Home schooling, Private School

By T. Joseph Hauenstien

When either one parent is not available for sexual or emotional needs of the other parent in the household, parental incest occur. The present parent may substitute the child for the missing wife or husband. The mother or father who is not around will not be able to check on his wife or husbands activities. Although in some culture incest is done and is required in a family clan, it can still have a negative psychological effect to a child.

Clinical statistics in the U.S. shows that more than five million children are sexually abuse in spite the fact that incest is a taboo in nature.

Covert parental Incest is also called psychological or emotional incest. It is defined when a child is being seduced by a parent. It is considered a violation because it puts a demand on a child to fulfill a role of a parent or a spouse. It is usually called 'special relationship' by the assaulting parent.

Psychologist often points out that there is a role reversal being done in an incest relationship, where the parent tries to give a pseudo-respect and pseudo-maturity like a peer partner to a child to meet his needs.

Covert incest is distinguished to be harmful to a child because it denies him or her the proper parenting and betrays his or her innocence. The parent demands the child to do parent obligations.

T. Joseph Hauenstien webnewsb@webnewsblog.com SEO & Web Marketing Consultant http://www.linkbuilding.net http://www.webnewsblog.com http://www.cubefiles.com

Tags: Culture Incest, Parental Incest

By John White

In many cases, children are in need of more than monetary support, though. They are quite often experiencing the fact that their other parent has left them, even if it is only temporary. The fact that that parent is not in the same home with them any longer is quite traumatic and can be very life changing to them. In this case, it is essential for their well being that that parent makes a good deal of effort to provide the support the child needs.

Support in this form can come in many things. First of all, the parent that is living with them should provide the child with the ability to see their other parent. Now, when there are concerns about the safety of the child, this is a completely different case. Yet, in most cases, this is not the case. The parent then should provide them with ample ways to communicate and welcome their other parent into their life.

This many include conversations over the phone and in email. One great way for this to work is through the internet process of web cams. They can see and hear their parent which makes them really feel as if they are there for them. It is also important that the parent living with the child to never say negative things about the other in front of the child, no matter how harsh the settlement is.

Child support should also come in the forms of counseling. Many parents notice changes in their child when there is divorce or separation. Many blame themselves and many more will worry about this endlessly. It is essential for both parents to play a role in supporting their child in a positive way throughout the entire process. If they seem to need to an outlet and it is about the situation, it may not be wise to talk to the parents. The child may want someone else to help them. In this case, seeking the help of a professional can really make a difference.

View more articles from childrenstreet.com

John White, the webmaster of childrenstreet.com, is a part of the Sharing Information Group that provides useful information to the public through the syndication of free articles.

Tags: Child Support, Monetary Support