By ElmerFizz

Of course theres not much that can be done about rejection but there are a few things you can do that may curtail the teasing or at least lessen the hurt caused by others…

Talk to their teacher, school principal, or camp director: Although there are a few children who are simply insensitive by nature, many just dont stop to think about the impact that their behavior may have on others. By making your concerns known and suggesting that they point out to the guilty children the tremendous pain thats being caused and the long-term effects of teasing; some of them may have a change of heart and a few may even befriend the disabled child.

Talk to the parents of the guilty child: They may not be aware that their child has been teasing your child and may be ashamed that theyve been acting this way. They probably havent raised their child to be a bully and will be eager to put a stop to it right away.

Build your childs self esteem: As the parent of a disabled child you may be prone to overprotect them. If so, try to stop. Allow them to do what theyre capable of on their own–even if they make mistakes–and only help out when its truly necessary.

Remind them often how much loved and wanted. Also of great importance: let them know that you LIKE them as a person and enjoy having them around!

If a child has a healthy view of him or herself in spite of being disabled, the teasing wont have near as much impact on them. Sure it will still be painful but it wont be devastating.

Help them find ways to keep busy: A disabled child may tend to get bored since they cant always do what other children can. Boredom leaves the mind open to replaying painful events so you want to help them avoid this as much as possible.

Occasionally introduce new activities for them to try. Of course a great many wont hold any interest for them but eventually theyll find something intriguing that might even become a passionate hobby!

For Information on Health related topics please visit: http://www.HealthyBodySupplements.com Click on Free Health Newsletter

Tags: Childs Self Esteem, Disabled Child

By Jon Arnold

Why all the hubbub? Autism has been discovered to affect about 1 in every 156 students, depending on which research report you read. This is an incredible statistic and you should be concerned about it. Do you know what the signs of autism are? Do you know what steps you should take if your child has autism?

These are all good questions and they require an answer. First of all, you need to do your homework, do your due diligence, and find out exactly what autism is. Even if your child if affected with autism, it may not be severe enough for you to even notice, but it is something that could grow more pronounced over time, and you need to be prepared to take action and get it diagnosed early enough to make a difference.

One of the problems with autism is that the diagnosis of it is not an exact science. In other words, it is easy to diagnose a broken arm. You can see it, the xrays confirm it, and the doctor or physician knows exactly how to treat it. But on the other hand, autism is not nearly so well defined, and the diagnosis of it often depends on the number of signs of autism that the child represents, and even then can be a subjective call.

One of the primary signs of autism is lack of social interaction. That does not mean that the child is a computer nerd, but that the child clearly has problems, real problems, in social interactions. The verbal speech patterns are also affected, and an unreasonable delay in when your child starts to speak coherent words and phrases could also be a sign of autism. Children with autism have a very difficult time meeting your eyes or looking you in the eyes when you are speaking to them. In the more severe cases of autism, you may see intense concentration on a particular object, even something as simple as a puppet or a ball. This concentration is to the exclusion of all else in the autistic child. Although the signs of autism vary from child to child, it is well known that boys are much more frequently affected by autism than girls, where some studies indicate that the ratio is as high as 4 to 1.

Autism is thought to be a neurological disorder, where the messages coming into the brain in certain areas get scrambled or are not delivered properly. Studies have shown that this is not a hereditary thing, so there is not a need to feel guilty if your natural family tendency is to lean away from social interactions. Yes, you will probably feel guilty if your child is diagnosed with autism, but now is not the time for guilt, now is the time to make plans and arrangements to make things easier for your child and to put them into an environment that will accommodate their affliction.

Do your homework and understand what autism is. If you have reason to suspect that your child has autism, then get them checked out by a trained professional. Like most diseases, early diagnosis will provide your best opportunities to deal with it effectively.

Jon is a computer engineer who maintain a variety of web sites based on his knowledge and experience. For more information about Autism, please visit his web site at Understanding Autism.

Tags: Sign of Autism, Social Interaction

By Jon Arnold

Why all the hubbub? Autism has been discovered to affect about 1 in every 156 students, depending on which research report you read. This is an incredible statistic and you should be concerned about it. Do you know what the signs of autism are? Do you know what steps you should take if your child has autism?

These are all good questions and they require an answer. First of all, you need to do your homework, do your due diligence, and find out exactly what autism is. Even if your child if affected with autism, it may not be severe enough for you to even notice, but it is something that could grow more pronounced over time, and you need to be prepared to take action and get it diagnosed early enough to make a difference.

One of the problems with autism is that the diagnosis of it is not an exact science. In other words, it is easy to diagnose a broken arm. You can see it, the xrays confirm it, and the doctor or physician knows exactly how to treat it. But on the other hand, autism is not nearly so well defined, and the diagnosis of it often depends on the number of signs of autism that the child represents, and even then can be a subjective call.

One of the primary signs of autism is lack of social interaction. That does not mean that the child is a computer nerd, but that the child clearly has problems, real problems, in social interactions. The verbal speech patterns are also affected, and an unreasonable delay in when your child starts to speak coherent words and phrases could also be a sign of autism. Children with autism have a very difficult time meeting your eyes or looking you in the eyes when you are speaking to them. In the more severe cases of autism, you may see intense concentration on a particular object, even something as simple as a puppet or a ball. This concentration is to the exclusion of all else in the autistic child. Although the signs of autism vary from child to child, it is well known that boys are much more frequently affected by autism than girls, where some studies indicate that the ratio is as high as 4 to 1.

Autism is thought to be a neurological disorder, where the messages coming into the brain in certain areas get scrambled or are not delivered properly. Studies have shown that this is not a hereditary thing, so there is not a need to feel guilty if your natural family tendency is to lean away from social interactions. Yes, you will probably feel guilty if your child is diagnosed with autism, but now is not the time for guilt, now is the time to make plans and arrangements to make things easier for your child and to put them into an environment that will accommodate their affliction.

Do your homework and understand what autism is. If you have reason to suspect that your child has autism, then get them checked out by a trained professional. Like most diseases, early diagnosis will provide your best opportunities to deal with it effectively.

Jon is a computer engineer who maintain a variety of web sites based on his knowledge and experience. For more information about Autism, please visit his web site at Understanding Autism.

Tags: Neurological Disorder, Social Interactions

By Floyd Lester Dorrance

Getting the proper child care when you are a parent is not

not always an easy thing to do. You must be able to afford

the care that you are getting but also make sure that it is a

care that you can depend on and trust. There are many

child care grants that you can apply for. A search of the

search engines will turn up many of them.

Taking advantage of the child care grants that are available

to you is something that you have the responsibility to

check out.

You should not be ashamed to get help when it comes to

raising your children the right way. This is something that

you need to take seriously so that you know your child is

taken care of when you are not around.

There are many parents that go to school and need to have

some type of financial aid getting child care for their

children. When this is the case, they can get the child care

grants that are out there. There are very helpful tools that

will get you the care that you and your child deserves while

you are getting a good education to make a better living.

There are many organizations that offer great child care

grants for people that need some type of help. These grants

are going to help parents pay for the care their children

need. The grants are set in place to make sure that no child

is left without care and that parents are able to afford the

best care possible.

All you have to do is make sure that you are getting all the

information that is needed to get the child care grants. You

can check out your resources and get all the facts that you

need. There are many places online that you can visit. You

will then be informed if you qualify or not and you can go

from there.

These child care grants are a great way to do the things that

you want to as a parent. You can now afford to put your

child in the better care centers while you are at work or

school. You will no longer have to feel guilty because you

are going to work and leaving your child behind. You will

actually be able to relax and be comfortable with the choice

of day care provider that you have. These child care grants

are a great thing to take advantage of for any parent that

qualifies.

One of twenty five articles by Floyd Dorrance on child care, day care and obtaining grants for such.

The author, Floyd Dorrance is a reseacher of various article subjects. The current submission is one of a series of twenty five on Child Care. This one is specifically on Obtaining Child Care Grants. Others may be found at: www.myinfohut.info

Tags: Child Care, Obtaining Grants

By Rob Newby

If you are looking to win child custody, all of this will play into what the court will have to examine. What are there advantages and disadvantages of your current situation? Does it meet your childs needs? Does this situation work for both parents? How will this custody arrangement improve or degrade the quality of life for the child? Remember the court will rule in favor of what it perceives as the best interest of the child.

Some of the factors that the court will look at are:

Primary Caregiver
Who would be viewed as the primary caregiver? Who is more involved in your childs life and day-to-day routines? The parent who has been more involved in the childs day-to-day routines will most likely be viewed as the primary caregiver. The courts weigh heavily toward the primary caregiver and dont like changing them unless there are serious problems.

Abuse
Is there an issue of domestic violence between you and your spouse? Allegations are treated seriously when we are talking about how to win child custody. The penalties are heavy if you are found to guilty of domestic violence. Avoid any heated discussions with your spouse. You dont want the police making a visit on your behalf. It will be used against you down the road. If abuse is an issue, know that it will be difficult to almost impossible to win child custody.

Substance Abuse
Is there a history of substance abuse? Alcohol, prescription drugs and illicit drugs all play a factor in trying to win child custody. The court will be hard pressed to grant custody to an abuser, even if they have gone through rehab. A caveat to this would be if the substance abuse was a long time ago. What is a long time? Ask your attorney what this court has ruled in the past. It will be different for each judge hearing the cases.

(End Part 1)

You can get Part 2 on how to win Child Custody at http://child-custody-secrets.com. Its in the FREE report. Heres to you winning the most favorable child custody arrangement.

Get a comprehensive Child Custody Package at Child Custody Secrets - Custody Center. Start Protecting your rights and your children as early as possible!

Tags: Child Custody, Primary Caregiver

By Ed Sherman

1. Tell children the truth in simple terms with simple explanations. Tell them where their other parent has gone. 2. Reassure them that they will continue to be taken care of and that they will be safe and secure.

3. Your children will see that parents can stop loving each other. Reassure them that a parents love for a child is a special kind that never stops.

4. Spend time with each child individually. Whether you have custody or visitation, the most important thing to the child is your individual relationship with him or her. Build the best relationship you can. The future is built of many tiny moments. 5. Children feel responsible for causing the divorce. Reassure them that they are not to blame. They may also feel that it is their responsibility to bring their parents back together. Let them know your decision is final and will have to be accepted.

6. Divorcing parents often feel guilty and become overindulgent. Give your child love, but also give limits.

7. Your child is still a child and cant become the man of the house or a little mother. Continue to be the parent to your child. Seek other adults to fill your own need for companionship. 8. Avoid situations that place a child in the impossible position of choosing between parents:

* Dont use your child as a way to get back at your spouse. Children can be terribly wounded this way. * Dont say bad things about the other parent in hearing of a child. * Dont say or do anything that might discourage the child from spending time with the other parent. * Dont encourage a child to take sides.

9. You and your former spouse will continue to be the parents of your children for life. Pledge to cooperate responsibly toward the growth and development of your children as an expression of your mutual love for them.

10. Be patient and understanding with your children. Be patient and understanding with yourself.

Even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing, cooperating with your spouse during your divorce is one of the best things you can do for your children. They learn that conflicts can be resolved eventually, which is a valuable lesson.

Ed Sherman is a divorce specialist attorney and award-winning author of How to Do Your Own Divorce in California. His books and software have saved millions of people billions of dollars in unnecessary attorney fees. Visit Nolo Press

Tags: Children Divorce, Ten Ways

By Hege Crowton

If you do decide to place your child with a sitter or in daycare where there are other children you may be surprised of how much your child may change in just a short period of time. The majority of these changes tend to be for the good, as long as they are in a well organized daycare facility. Places like these generally put a lot of time into teaching and developing a childs skills.

Finding a good place for your child is something which should not be done hastily. You have all heard horror stories from daycares or babysitters all around the world, so in order to ensure good quality daycare make sure you do a real good check on your childs potential care takers. As long as the place or person are on the up and up, nobody will frown upon or deny any questions or requests you may have. Do not be afraid to ask.

A daycare can be a wonderful experience for both you and your child and being apart from each other while you are at work will not harm any of you. As a matter of fact it can be very good especially for your child who will realize that this is how things work, grown ups has to work in order to take care of their family. Somewhere in their minds, the idea of hard work is something all of us have to do, will take place. They will see you taking responsibility and hopefully it will install the same work ethics in them.

In the beginning it may be hard for you to drop them of every day and listen to them beg you not to leave him or her. This is much harder on you than what it is for your child who after only a short time will have 'forgotten' all about you and are probably having a lot of fun with all the other kids. Bottom line is, you are the one who will suffer the most from placing your childcare, you are the one who will feel guilty while your child is there having fun and learning things.

After having your child in daycare for a period of time one of the biggest changes you may notice is your childs independence. They will learn to do things on their own without having to depend on others to do it for them. To your surprise you might find a child who is much more willing to share than before and who is also willing and wanting to help out around the house. These things are all good but you need to be aware that some of the other kids bad behaviors can be picked up by your little angel. Although these can be quite annoying and bad, this behavior is normal and will pass.

All in all, daycare can be a very good thing for your child and there is no reason to feel bad for you wanting to go back out into the workforce. Do make sure you do some investigation before making the final decision on which daycare to place your child in. Everyone only wants the best for there child and that is how it should be. Enjoy going back to work and know that your child is in the best of care.

Hege Crowton is an established expert copywriter. She is known for doing in-depth research before writing her articles. www.Ispjv.com www.Submitcontent.com Copyright 2005 BabyContent.com

Tags: Babysitters, Daycare

By Jennifer Bingham Hull, http://www.growingafamily.com

Perhaps more than anything else, a woman having a second baby fears losing her special connection to her firstborn. Will the beloved child who was once your one and only get lost in the shuffle as the family grows? Is she already getting short shrift now that the new baby is here?

Its enough to make a mom feel so guilty that she thinks shes got to take her older child to Disney World. Yet who has the time or energy for special outings after having a second child? As the family grows, you need simple strategies to keep love alive, not new things to add to your to do list.

The following tactics helped me stay close to my older daughter after her sister was born. Six years later, I still rely on some of them. The result: my firstborn and I are tight and shes a fabulous big sister. Im close to my younger girl too:

*Greet your older child first. An infants tiny wail will always claim your attention. And babies are so cute! Hug your older child first when you enter a room. The baby wont know the difference, but your firstborn will appreciate the attention.

*Get in cahoots. Early on I developed a habit of looking at my older daughter and rolling my eyes when little sister did something silly. With a glance, I recognized my older girls special status as the more mature child. The new baby became the source of shared amusement rather than a threat.

*Do errands together. In Beyond One I describe preserving my relationship with my firstborn by making her my errand girl after little sisters birth. Doing errands with her while dad or a sitter tended the baby gave us time alone and allowed me to get things done. Now shes 8 and guiding me around Target!

*Get down. Kneel. Sit on the floor. Crouch by the bath. Do what it takes to make direct eye contact with your older child. Enter her world. Otherwise youre always the mom standing holding the baby.

*Seize the moment. Is Dad diapering the baby? Read a short book to your firstborn. Is the little one content in the bouncy seat? Cook with your older child. Look for opportunities to focus one-on-one attention on your firstborn. A few shared minutes can do wonders.

*Make the baby a joint project. Its messy and inefficient. But having the toddler help give the baby a bath can bring you together — though you wont have a hand free to photograph the event. Ask your older child to wash the babys feet, not her head!

*Give time, not toys. Stuff just sends the signal that something is wrong with adding another child to the family. Avoid buying new 'big sister' toys for your older child — unless youre purchasing something to do together. Remember, money cant buy you love.

(c) 2006 Jennifer Bingham Hull. Reprint rights granted as long as entire article is published, including resource box and its live links.

Jennifer Bingham Hull is the award-winning author of Beyond One: Growing a Family and Getting a Life. To learn more, visit www.growingafamily.com, where you can also contact her to receive this 'Life Beyond One' column regularly and sign up for her free newsletter.

Tags: Firstborn, Keep Love

By Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Normal Childhood Behaviour Misconstrued

There is a quote attributed to Sigmund Freud, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar". So too of childhood behaviour and incidents; they may be simply within the range of normal childhood life. However, in the context of high conflict separated parents, the simple explanation can get transplanted with extraordinary suspicions and theories.

Normal childhood development has toddler-age children exploring their bodies, discovering the genitals and anus and taking pleasure from self-touching. They are at the toilet training stage of life and hence are drawn by normal parenting behaviour to attend to these body parts. In intact families as children are observed to engage in self-stimulation and genital play, they are simply redirected to either stop, or to engage privately at appropriate time and place. In the context of high conflict separated parents, there is a risk to ascribe these childhood behaviours to sinister behaviour on the part of one of the parents. So a parent may inadvertently bring greater attention to the child's behaviour and thus actually reinforce the concerning behaviour themselves while at the same time alleging sexual abuse at the hands of the other parent.

As preschoolers, children take flight on playground equipment. They may be learning to ride their two-wheeler. Hence this is a time of childhood injuries, particularly bruises, bumped heads and broken arms. In the context of high conflict separated parents, a parent may be suspicious of child-abuse in view of injuries and use the situation to allege physical abuse or at least neglect. However, and again, even in intact families, children can get hurt; bump their heads and fall from bikes and playground equipment.

As school age children try to get their own way, they naturally try to pit parents against each other. They will use whatever strategy works. Kids may tell you that other kids are getting or doing what is desired or they may tell you that the "other parent" let's them do as requested. In intact families, parents simply call their children on manipulative behaviour or at least check with the other parent to determine if what the child is saying is true. However, in the context of high conflict separated parents, a parent may take what a child says at face value and believe that the other parent is undermining their own parenting or the values of the child.

In intact families or even between separated parents with good communication, normal childhood events tend not to escalate with suspicion and drama. Issues are nipped in the bud and children are redirected to appropriate behaviour. Injuries are attended to without additional fanfare. A parent may feel guilty for a child's injury, but not blamed per se.

In the context of high conflict separated parents, normal childhood behaviour and incidents can take on epic proportions. Otherwise normal behaviour can lead to suspicion or be used against a parent to undermine care and custody. As one parent cries foul, the other cries parental alienation syndrome. The fight is on and heats up to the point of boiling over. The child is caught in the middle and their behaviour escalates as a result. Both parents then use the child's behaviour as evidence of their own claim against the other.

Here is where a good assessment is so necessary. The assessor will tease out normal from abnormal childhood behaviour and incidents and determine how much of a child's behaviour is attributable to just the conflict between the parents versus truly sinister behaviour deliberately aimed at harming or neglecting a child.

Parents beware though. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, despite suspicion.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
(905) 628-4847
gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment criti

 

Tags: Behaviour Misconstrued, Normal Childhood

By Elena Neitlich

Bribery gets immediate results. The behavior the parent is trying to curb stops… but to what future consequence.

In the long run 'bribes' dont work. Bribing children can have the opposite of the intended effect. Behavior can become more and more outrageous in the hopes of attaining better and better prizes. It goes to follow, if a small tussle in the grocery store is rewarded with a pack of gum, what will an out and out brawl get, a cell phone? Bribing creates a situation where the tail is wagging the dog. The childs behavior begins to dictate the culture of the family. The family is happy when the child behaves well and in turmoil when the child misbehaves. The child gains power and the parents lose power.

It is more effective and healthier to tell the child that he or she will face a consequence if the unacceptable behavior continues and then follow-through with that consequence. 'If you continue to do 'X' behavior, we will not go to the park,' (or whatever fun thing the child is looking forward to in the near future). By giving a consequence that the child can actually experience, the child feels the consequence and in turn thinks twice before repeating the offense. Giving a consequence assures that the parent never attacks the essence of the child, which can be damaging to their psyche, just the behavioral offense.

Following through is a crucial step of this learning process. The child must know that the parent means what she says and always follows through.

On the other hand, when the child behaves, praise, praise, and praise! Let him know that it is marvelous and wonderful when he listens. For example a successful trip to the grocery store should be complimented. Consistency, follow-through and praise are essential in promoting and reinforcing good behavior and creating peace in the family.

Consistency, follow-through, and praise sound easy enough. Then why do parents so easily fall into the 'bribery' trap?

One reason parents bribe is because raising kids and running a household are incredibly challenging and taxing. When half-way through folding a load of laundry the child reaches over and tosses the folded clothes across the room or when traveling up and down the aisles of the supermarket and the child starts grabbing food out of the cart and pitching it onto the floor, a parent can feel pushed to the brink. The mundane work has to be completed, it is understandable that parents bribe the child to quickly nix the bad behavior and finish the one of many task on their long daily list.

It is definitely tempting to bribe children to stop the disruptive behavior with a new toy or a snack. However, rewarding the negative behavior with a bribe ultimately leads the child back to that same unacceptable behavior, the next time with a vengeance.

It is really important to be your childs advocate. Think about the tools your child needs to be equipped for teen years and adulthood. As hard as it is not to appease in the moment, consider the childs future interests. The goal of a parent is to help mold a fantastic person and give the necessary tools a child needs to have a great life.

Here are ten tips for parents who want to find an alternative to 'bribery':

1. Immediately respond to the incident making sure that the child realizes that her behavior is unacceptable. Little kids need to be educated about right and wrong.

2. Use words the child will understand to explain that you are upset. Dont assume she knows why you are unhappy. 'Tammy, pulling the folded clothes out of the laundry basket is not okay. Mommy worked hard to fold those clothes. We have discussed this before. I am giving you a three minute time-out.'

3. Follow-through, act immediately, and do what you say you are going to do. Do not make idle threats.

4. Ask the child to apologize.

5. Reward the child with a huge hug and kiss and thank him for completing the time-out. Then let it go. It is not fair to your child to dwell on an incident after he has completed the time-out, or you have taken away a toy or privilege.

6. Do not feel guilty that you had to reprimand your child. It is your obligation to your child to teach her proper behavior. If you are calm and choose an appropriate consequence then you are being a great parent.

7. Be on the look out for good behavior. How refreshing it is for kids to have their positive behavior recognized…especially when they werent expecting it to be noticed.

8. Keep a tally of all of the good behavior over the course of the day and reward with an extra story at bedtime, an extra fun craft project, or a 'tickle extravaganza.' But most importantly, let the child know how proud you are of him or her and how much you love him/her.

9. Talk your children up! Say, 'I have the most wonderful kids! I love to be with them!' Kids do hear you when you talk about them, loud and clear. Make sure that the majority of what they hear makes them feel warm and nurtured, loved, respected and cherished.

10. Children want limits set. They feel out of control if you dont make the boundaries clear, and that scares them. Children want you to be the parent. One of the most wonderful gifts that you can give to your kids is to teach them how to behave properly.

Guiding children through the tough stages of childhood creates parenting opportunities for teaching lessons in manners and good behavior. By promoting peace, quiet and good behavior in the home, parents create a fertile environment that encourages growth and development.

Elena Neitlich is the co-owner and CEO of Moms on Edge, LLC. Her company designs, manufactures and sells childrens behavioral toys, games and parenting aids, Elena and her business partner created Moms on Edge with the mission to promote peace, quiet and good behavior in the home, and to alleviate the stress that parents can feel as they guide their children through the tough stages of childhood.

Elena is the proud mother of Noah (5) and Seth (2). She is committed to raising really great people. For more information about Moms on Edge or to contact Elena please visit http://www.momsonedge.com Permission granted to publish with no links inserted into article text and with live links in the author bio.

Elena Neitlich is the owner and CEO of Moms on Edge, LLC. Her company designs, manufactures and sells childrens behavioral products and parenting tools and aids. She is the proud mother of Noah (5) and Seth (2) and committed to raising great people. For more info: http://www.momsonedge.com

Tags: Parenting Tips, Stop Bribing

By Elena Neitlich

Picture this scenario: A harried mom in a grocery store asks her two young boys to stop fighting. They continue…getting even more boisterous. After asking for the "umpteenth" time and having them ignore her, she starts to raise her voice, but stops herself, she knows she shouldn't yell at them…additionally the kids won't respond to yelling anyway. She reaches the end of her rope, is at her whit's end, wants immediate results, so, "bribes the children." Sound familiar?

Bribery gets immediate results. The behavior the parent is trying to curb stops… but to what future consequence.

In the long run "bribes" don't work. Bribing children can have the opposite of the intended effect. Behavior can become more and more outrageous in the hopes of attaining better and better prizes. It goes to follow, if a small tussle in the grocery store is rewarded with a pack of gum, what will an out and out brawl get, a cell phone? Bribing creates a situation where the tail is wagging the dog. The child's behavior begins to dictate the culture of the family. The family is happy when the child behaves well and in turmoil when the child misbehaves. The child gains power and the parents lose power.

It is more effective and healthier to tell the child that he or she will face a consequence if the unacceptable behavior continues and then follow-through with that consequence. "If you continue to do "X" behavior, we will not go to the park," (or whatever fun thing the child is looking forward to in the near future). By giving a consequence that the child can actually experience, the child feels the consequence and in turn thinks twice before repeating the offense. Giving a consequence assures that the parent never attacks the essence of the child, which can be damaging to their psyche, just the behavioral offense.

Following through is a crucial step of this learning process. The child must know that the parent means what she says and always follows through.

On the other hand, when the child behaves, praise, praise, and praise! Let him know that it is marvelous and wonderful when he listens. For example a successful trip to the grocery store should be complimented. Consistency, follow-through and praise are essential in promoting and reinforcing good behavior and creating peace in the family.

Consistency, follow-through, and praise sound easy enough. Then why do parents so easily fall into the "bribery" trap?

One reason parents bribe is because raising kids and running a household are incredibly challenging and taxing. When half-way through folding a load of laundry the child reaches over and tosses the folded clothes across the room or when traveling up and down the aisles of the supermarket and the child starts grabbing food out of the cart and pitching it onto the floor, a parent can feel pushed to the brink. The mundane work has to be completed, it is understandable that parents bribe the child to quickly nix the bad behavior and finish the one of many task on their long daily list.

It is definitely tempting to bribe children to stop the disruptive behavior with a new toy or a snack. However, rewarding the negative behavior with a bribe ultimately leads the child back to that same unacceptable behavior, the next time with a vengeance.

It is really important to be your child's advocate. Think about the tools your child needs to be equipped for teen years and adulthood. As hard as it is not to appease in the moment, consider the child's future interests. The goal of a parent is to help mold a fantastic person and give the necessary tools a child needs to have a great life.

Here are ten tips for parents who want to find an alternative to "bribery":

1. Immediately respond to the incident making sure that the child realizes that her behavior is unacceptable. Little kids need to be educated about right and wrong.

2. Use words the child will understand to explain that you are upset. Don't assume she knows why you are unhappy. "Tammy, pulling the folded clothes out of the laundry basket is not okay. Mommy worked hard to fold those clothes. We have discussed this before. I am giving you a three minute time-out."

3. Follow-through, act immediately, and do what you say you are going to do. Do not make idle threats.

4. Ask the child to apologize.

5. Reward the child with a huge hug and kiss and thank him for completing the time-out. Then let it go. It is not fair to your child to dwell on an incident after he has completed the time-out, or you have taken away a toy or privilege.

6. Do not feel guilty that you had to reprimand your child. It is your obligation to your child to teach her proper behavior. If you are calm and choose an appropriate consequence then you are being a great parent.

7. Be on the look out for good behavior. How refreshing it is for kids to have their positive behavior recognized…especially when they weren't expecting it to be noticed.

8. Keep a tally of all of the good behavior over the course of the day and reward with an extra story at bedtime, an extra fun craft project, or a "tickle extravaganza." But most importantly, let the child know how proud you are of him or her and how much you love him/her.

9. Talk your children up! Say, "I have the most wonderful kids! I love to be with them!" Kids do hear you when you talk about them, loud and clear. Make sure that the majority of what they hear makes them feel warm and nurtured, loved, respected and cherished.

10. Children want limits set. They feel out of control if you don't make the boundaries clear, and that scares them. Children want you to be the parent. One of the most wonderful gifts that you can give to your kids is to teach them how to behave properly.

Guiding children through the tough stages of childhood creates parenting opportunities for teaching lessons in manners and good behavior. By promoting peace, quiet and good behavior in the home, parents create a fertile environment that encourages growth and development.

 

Elena Neitlich is the co-owner and CEO of Moms on Edge, LLC. Her company designs, manufactures and sells children's behavioral toys, games and parenting aids, Elena and her business partner created Moms on Edge with the mission to promote peace, quiet and good behavior in the home, and to alleviate the stress that parents can feel as they guide their children through the tough stages of childhood.

Elena is the proud mother of Noah (5) and Seth (2). She is committed to raising really great people. For more information about Moms on Edge or to contact Elena please visit http://www.momsonedge.com
Permission granted to publish with no links inserted into article text and with live links in the author bio.

 

 

Elena Neitlich is the owner and CEO of Moms on Edge, LLC. Her company designs, manufactures and sells children's behavioral products and parenting tools and aids. She is the proud mother of Noah (5) and Seth (2) and committed to raising great people. For more info: http://www.momsonedge.com

 

Tags: Bribing Child, Parenting Tips

By Mary Joyce

Even more specifically, the foundation from which to build the foundation for this success is reading. How well your child learns to - and enjoys reading, is absolutely directly related to not only how well your child will do in school, but how successful they will be throughout their lifetime. When a child develops good reading skills they have developed a foundation on which all other learning is built upon.

From the day a child is born they begin to learn. From the moment you begin to talk or sing to your new baby they begin to hear and to respond to sounds. The more your talk and sing to your child, the more you strengthen and advance their understanding of language. You are laying the first blocks for your child to becoming a reader.

As a parent you yourself dont have to be the worlds best reader in order to help your child become a successful reader. It is your time, your interest, your enthusiasm, and your dedication to your childs success that is important. Remember, it is reading that is the essential element that all other learning is dependent upon.

Every child learns to read at different paces. It is a step by step process with each step mastered leading to the next.

Early on babies and toddlers learn primarily by experiencing the sights and sounds that become a part of their world. Babies are natural born curiosity seekers and learners. They are in a constant explore and discover mode. As a parent you should take great advantage of this natural desire.

As a part of this early discovery and leaning stage babies quickly learn to imitate those events that they both see and hear. So, right from the beginning, parents should be reading, singing, gesturing, smiling and making funny faces with their children. Believe it or not, these are the very first activities that begin to establish a childs path toward understanding the language and ultimately begin reading.

So you see, even though your baby hasnt officially began learning to read in a structured manner, becoming an eventual good reader starts from the first day your child begins to hear what is to become their primary language. The first steps of translating sounds into words, words to sentences, and sentences to meanings is, in a sense, the foundation for the foundation of reading.

Mary Joyce is a former educator, successful homeschool parent, and has written many articles on Homeschool Curriculum for the Homeschool-Curriculum-4u website. Please visit (http://www.homeschool-curriculum-4u.com) for more of Marys articles, resources on homeschool, ideas, and curriculum information.

Tags: Curriculum Information, Homeschool Curriculum

By Len Jacob

There can be basically two types of education, one is formal, the other informal education. Now, formal education will include entry to a school or any other educational institution. Informal education occurs outside school guided by people and resources outside the classroom.

Introduce educational toys and game to your child and voila, an informal learning ambience is created. Children are natural learners, so your task as a parent will be to provide them with toys that have the fun as well as the educational quotient. The ideal toys and games will help the all round development of your children. However, there are differences in the emotional and reasoning development of different children.

Remember that the educational toy and game should be compatible with the childs individual personality. As the children grow older, they require educational games and toys that are appropriate for their age. For instance, a child in the adolescent stage may be going through emotional turmoil, as a parent, you can engage your child into chess or sports. Informal education is a way to strengthen formal education.

Educational games for children at various stages of their development

A baby learns to experience taste, touch, smell, hearing and seeing right from infancy. Make use of this. Use the language games and for this you need to talk to your baby repetitively. The baby recognizes a particular word and learns to utter it.

As your baby gets older, you can gift them educational toys and games like crayons, blocks, hand puppets, mobiles, stacking toys, easy puzzles and more. All these toys help to develop spatial awareness, motor skills, recognition of different sounds and language skills, if you keep talking to the baby. No matter, what toys or games your baby is playing, make it a point to talk to your baby always. Just talk, talk and talk, it will be fun for your baby and simultaneously help in learning the language.

Maintain the fun element when teaching your baby. Be sure to clap and applaud when your baby points out to an object and calls it by its name; this further encourages your baby to learn and makes the entire learning process an enjoyable one. Therefore, never think that the childs playtime is merely a pass time, but make use of the opportunity for the better of your child.

Some of the best educational toys for your child

· Fisher Prices Laugh and Learn Home: This is an essential educative toy for children above 6 months. The product teaches your child a number of things that will really keep your child interested till the age of one year.

· LeapFrogs LeapStart Learning Table: This educational toy provides your child lots of fun and has different games in only one fajita. The child comes to know music, colors and alphabets.

· LeapFrogs Fridge Phonics Magnetic Letter Set: Your toddler will love this educational toy that features interactive alphabet figures coupled with a magnetic reader. This is attachable to any surface that can hold magnets like the refrigerator. It can also play a song to entertain your baby.

If you are confused regarding which educational toy to opt for, just ask the toy store attendant for his/her advice. Also get a demonstration of the toy and then decide finally whether you think your child will love it.

Len Jacob is a successful writer and publisher of Educational Toy related issues, for more informative articles go to www.educationaltoyreview.com

Tags: Child Play, Educational Toys

By Jason Carter

Children are now discovering what many adults already know: golf is a lot of fun! While your children may love hitting golf balls with one of your old golf clubs, how do you begin to develop their skills? Here are a few tips to help you give your children a good head start in the golfing world.

One of the first things you may want to do is enroll them into a golf class. Many of your local golf courses have classes just for children. There is no need to go out and buy a new set of golf clubs for your child. The class will provide the equipment necessary. This will not only save you some money right now, but it will give you time to find out if your child truly enjoys the game of golf or not. You dont want to go out and spend a few hundred dollars only to find out your child doesnt really like golf after all.

The next tip is one that is very important for both you and your child. Be patient. It is so easy to want to see your child start hitting long drives and sinking 30 foot putts. In order for them to want to continue learning the game of golf they need your support. Let your child progress at their rate. The golf classes will help them develop immensely.

When you are on the practice range with them be sure you encourage them, even when they are spraying the ball all over the range. They will pick up the finer points of the game later as they grow older.

When your child has taken some classes and they show a genuine interest in the game of golf, buy them their own set of golf clubs. Be sure you have your child fitted properly. Of course, since they will be growing in height and weight, understand that the clubs you buy today may be too small within a year or two at the most. You can get childrens golf clubs at an inexpensive price.

Use the time that you spend golfing with your children as a bonding time. Enjoy yourselves and the time youre out on the course. You can even use this time to develop a good communication with your child. Talk about other things than golf. Youll be surprised at how the golf course can help you and your children bond together. It will spill over into other areas of your lives as well.

Your child may never grow up to be the next Tiger Woods, or Michelle Wie, but they can grow up loving the game of golf. More importantly, they can grow up enjoying the time spent together with you out on the golf course.

Jason is a pro golfer. Learn more about this spetacular golf and get discounts for some products. http://www.freewebs.com/smithkarl/DaveBlogs.htm

Tags: Golf, Golf Clubs

By Joe Thompson

The campaign would include a free child safety seat check. This event would be done on the 26th of this month. From 9am to 1pm, parents can start rushing towards the event and learn about child safety and child safety seats. Parents could also learn more about the importance of safety on the road as well as the importance of Volkswagen auto parts in keeping the passengers safe during unwanted incidents.

Gary Brown is GEICOs regional vice president for the companys operations in Texas. Brown comments, 'A big part of our job at GEICO is helping provide safety information for our customers. We want to extend the same knowledge to the community so that the Dallas Fort Worth area becomes a safer place for all of us, especially our youngsters. We feel it is necessary to spread the message of child car seat safety because, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, approximately 73 per cent of child restraints are used incorrectly.'

This statement from Brown is also backed up by Miriam Wilhelm. Wilhelm is an instructor on child passenger safety at the Presbyterian Hospital. Wilhelm also is the coordinator for Safe Kids Collin County. She further adds insight by saying, 'Its a parents responsibility to make sure a childs car seat is properly installed and adjusted. Were here to show you how. Motor vehicle crashes are the leading killer of children under 14, and under Texas state law, all children under 5 years of age and 36 inches must be restrained in a appropriate car seat or booster seat.'

Joe Thompson is the owner of a successful auto body shop in Ferndale, California. This 38 year old is also a prolific writer, contributing automotive related articles to various publications.

Tags: Child Seat Checks, Insurance Company

By Rebecca Walker

Toddlers

When your child is not yet able to read or write, dont feel that it is not possible to educate them and make them learn processes and other learning mechanisms which they can benefit from for the rest of their life. Many parents believe that teaching their child at this stage is far less valuable than teaching them practical applications of their skills in later years. However, one of the best ways to teach your child, at this age, can be through using educational software that has been designed on the back of decades of research surrounding how young children digest information and benefit from it in the long term. On one level, through using educational software, your children will become far more computer savvy than they otherwise would. They will be accustomed to how one can engage with a user interface through a control pad or keyboard. This, of course, is far from the only benefit. Educational software is usually designed to be fun for children and enhance their learning at the same time. If you decide to explore the educational software with your child, and also let them engage with it on their own, you can also help to develop a bond with your child.

Young Children

Young children can use educational software to further enhance their IT skills on one level. However, they can also use it as a means of being taught new, and the same things, in an innovative way that is proven to have results. Educational software adds a new dimension to how children are taught, other than by their parents and at school, which can ultimately reinforce what they already know and help them to understand things that they were otherwise having problems with at school. It is important that you do not just use educational software to keep your child up-to-date with the curriculum - you should also use it as a means of developing their learning and problem solving skills.

Teens

When your child reaches their teenage years, educational software can still play a massive role in how your child develops. When they get to this age, they can use educational software to learn general knowledge, problem solving skills and subject specific learning. This means that instead of learning how to read, for example, they can learn about historic events and how to calculate maths problems. These are things that they can be taught through software, because they now have the platform in place - in terms of reading, writing and, arithmetic skills - to develop and learn.

The author Rebecca Walker writes articles for childfont.com. He also gives valuable information about child development, home schooling & reading, child development & learning to read, active white board are accessible on the internet.

Tags: Educational Software, Teaching Children

By George Phillips

While teaching salaries vary greatly from state to state, child education is improving from the under paid teachers of the past 10 years. It is sad to realize that dollar signs may limit child education if you happen to live in a state with low teacher salaries, or where the states schools are short on teaching funds.

Another aspect which limits child education in the public school system, is the unfairness of the teacher hiring process. You would think that your school would want to hire the most qualified teachers, but that is often not what happens. The way our schools are set up, it is possible for an individual to control who gets hired and who does not. And many times has a vested interest in the outcome as well.

For instance local (Teacher A)… has a Masters Degree in education, is very sharp, enthusiastic, pleasant personality, married with 3 children of her own, and totally committed to child education. Having made a career commitment to be a teacher.

(Teacher B)… on the otherhand just completed enough schooling to be able to teach, not really sure even if she wants to be a teacher, just looking for a job, and lives out of state where they went to college. So why is your local schools hiring Teacher B, and not Teacher A?

Do you want your childs education in the hands of a teacher like B, when a teacher like A has applied, lives in your city, is available locally to teach your child, and is not being hired…

Do not think for a minute this is not happening in your local schools, it happens every year in almost every school district… Your sons and daughters education is important, and the best child education teacher for the job… may be the waitress at your local steak house, who was not hired as a teacher by your school! It is your duty to get involved and find out what is going on in your schools hiring program.

George Phillips is the webmaster of The Distance Learning Website. Information and Resources on Continuing Education Through Distance Learning.

Tags: Childs Education, Dollar Signs Limit

By Lyn Leckie-Matassa

Chances are you have a child that needs to be encouraged and enticed into some kind of physical activity. However even if your child is of small stature but does no exercise this is just as unhealthy as a child that is overweight and does no exercise. Lets face it there are people out there that can eat and eat and dont have to exercise and never put on weight and others that eat the same amounts and put on weight but that is a fact of life that is unfair but true. If you look at all the food calorie counters it all comes down to energy in energy out and that is the key.

What you eat need to be burnt off so those people that eat and eat actually do more physical activity than the one that gains allot of weight. The reason I say this is because the books all say if you dont do any activity at all during the day you can have this many calories and if you do a walk or run or 30 minutes of physical activity you can have allot more calories.

The key is healthy food and exercise but without letting your child know what you are doing gradually change the foods that you are giving your child to eat. Buy them a skipping rope, balls , hoola hoop anything that is designed to make physical activity fun. Get out and play with them it wont hurt you to get in a bit of extra exercise but it is also quality time with your kids. I know you probably have a very hectic schedule but go out there start them off then do what you need to do inside in a place where you can see what they are doing and encourage them so they will keep going because when the exercise thing is new to them they will get the urge to stop and go back to the TV. Persist and you wont have to worry about your child being labelled the fat kid anymore.

How To get Your Kids To Eat Healthily
More Info On Kids
Make Money Online

Tags: Eat Healthily, Fat Kid

By Tony Robinson

1. Generally a child learns from the habits of his parents. If you are a smoker then the foremost step needs to be taken by you. Get yourself free from the smoking habit and try to figure out the bad effects of smoking in front of your child. If a child sees his parents using good manners like eating healthy food then he is likely to follow those good habits. On the contrary if he sees his parents smoking, he surely takes up that. Only verbal explanation would not help. You have to practically put them.

2. Talk to your kids. You can start with explaining them functions of heart and lungs and how bad habits harm their smooth functioning. Insert a mental picture of the outcomes. Instead of praising the smoking trend, try to criticize actors who smoke in movies and T.V programs. Make sure you do that in front of your kids.

3. Tell him about the harmful effects that smoking leads to like it blocks the bloodstreams, robs the face charm, causes pale look. Try to encourage kids more abut good habits by telling them about its consequences like healthy skin, active body, physical fitness.

4. Help your child to get involve in the activities in which they are interested. A child should learn to develop an optimist point of view towards life. Encourage them to make good friends and not to get involve in bad company. Appreciate your youngsters on their good deeds and also not forget to scold them on their bad ones. Do not pamper them. Your child should be able to judge between right and wrong so they are able to say no to their bad habits when the trying time comes.

5. Spend some good time with your ward. Be aware of your child activities. Talk to him about different topics. Start with asking him how he spent his day. All you need is the tact to handle your kid with care.

Tony Robinson is an ex-smoker, Webmaster and International Author. Visit http://www.quit-smoking-assist.com/ for his quit smoking tips.

Tags: Child Learns, Smoking Tips

By Tom Ambrozewicz

Toddlers

Even the youngest age group can learn beginner skills to scrapbooking. One way to get them involved is to have them try their hand at choosing colors and embellishments that they like. You may be surprised at how quickly a four-year-old picks up on concepts such as color schemes and layout design. You can also ask your child to help with the journaling. This works especially well when you create pages where your child is the main focus-ask for his or her thoughts on the day and include this in your journaling. You might be surprised at what they say, so be ready to write down some great quotes! Toddlers can also be given paper and markers to draw pictures about the event, and these can make heart-warming embellishments to your page.

School-age Children

As your child learns basic motor skills, such as how to use scissors, you can let them practice at making their own pages. Let them use the doubles of your pictures or pictures from the roll that are fuzzy or otherwise undesirable for your own album. Scrapbooking paper can be expensive, so unless your child has a genuine love for the craft, you may want to have them use construction paper, which is not acid free but will help you save money if all your child wants to do is play. At this stage, your child may be able to help you choose all the elements for a page or look through scrapbooking layout ideas to pick some of his or her favorites that you can then create. As a pre-teen, your child may have the skills to begin creating his or her own album and using real scrapbooking paper and supplies. This is an investment that will depend on your childs particular interest and skill level.

Teens

If your child continues to scrapbook at this stage, he or she probably can handle creating a beginning album. A good start is to use the school pictures your child has surely acquired over the years from friends. Encourage your child to be creative and to design pages that interest him or her. If you do digital scrapbooking, this is also a good time to introduce your child to some of the programs available online. The love of scrapbooking may continue past the teen stage and into adulthood, and soon your children may be creating albums that rival your own and teaching their own children how to scrapbook.

Tom Ambrozewicz is one of the pioneers in using breakthrough audio technology on his web sites. You can read, you can listen to professional narrator reading to you or having MP3 files ready to download if you hate to keep printed files. You can check all scrapbooking tips at Ask-How.info now.

Tags: Creative Kids, Scrapbooking