By B. Bryan Post, PhD, LCSW

Bishop T.D. Jakes says, 'If you always do what youve always done, you will always be where youve already been!' If the dunce chair or standing with your nose in the corner didnt work when we were children, then why do we think by dressing it up as something seemingly more contemporary, that it is going to work now? Many of you may be saying, 'But it does work. All I have to do is start counting to three and my child stops their behavior to avoid time out,' or maybe youre saying, 'If its good enough for Super Nanny, its good enough for me.' Have you seen the new King Kong flick? Well, to a two-year old, an adult looks something like Kong did to the blonde, an utter giant. Wouldnt you sit in a chair for two or three minutes if King Kong told you to do so? Wouldnt you stop your behavior if you knew that if you continued, you would lose the loving support of your most secure attachment figure? Help me understand how it makes sense to send a child whose behavior is clearly communicating that they are unable to manage their current emotional state, to go sit by themselves to sort through their upset emotions, alone. 'Time-out' does not recognize the developmental and regulatory struggles a child is demonstrating in the midst of their behavior of acting out. Consider for a moment that rather than a child acting out for attention, he is in fact, acting out because he needs attention. Read that sentence again. It can make all of the difference. Instead of sending the child off to sit in a chair or be isolated, bring the child into you for a period of time. Have him sit next to you, hold your hand, stand beside you. Say to the child, 'When you are feeling better you may go back and play.' In other words, allow the child to determine how much time-in that he needs. Important point: It is not imperative that you touch the child during this time. A child that does not want to be touched, or reacts violently, should not be touched. In that moment, the child is in survival mode and feels very threatened. Keep your distance, but indicate to the child that you are nearby and will stay so, until the child feels safer.

'Time-in' can be a very effective alternative to 'time-out'. 'Time-in' teaches compassion, regulation, the ability to create internal calm in the midst of stress, and understanding. Before providing 'Time-In' for your child, give some to yourself. Take a moment, find a quiet corner, take four deep breaths, and find your calm, peaceful self. Now you are ready to help calm your child.

Copyright© 2006 Dr. Bryan Post. All rights reserved.

To learn more about 'time-in' and calming your child when in a state of stress, visit http://www.postfamilysystem.com and http://www.parentingtheadoptedchild.com . B. Bryan Post PhD, LCSW, is an internationally recognized expert in the treatment of children and families struggling with issues related to traum

By MaryLynne White

When a child responds angrily to a parents message, that message has not gone to the thinking part of the childs brain. No, it has not reached the front part of the brain that does logical, rational thinking and problem solving. It has actually traveled to the part of the brain dealing with emotions. Most people know this as the limbic system, which is located in the central part of the brain. I call this the lizard part of the brain because it has no thinking abilities whatsoever; it merely reacts.

Have you ever noticed how angry, upset children (and some adults) appear as irrational? Theyre in the lizard part of their brain and cant think straight. Theyre not trying to control and manipulate you. Whats happening is something lying underneath the surface of their conscious mind. Underneath the anger is a feeling of fear. Its totally unconscious so usually both parents and children are unaware of it. When a child becomes angry and moves toward a temper tantrum stage of feelings, what the child is non-verbally telling you is: • 'I cant think–Im in the lizard part of my brain and I dont know how to get out of it to the thinking part where I can talk you in a way that makes sense.' • 'I need your help–I dont know what to do; Ive become so upset, Ive regressed to about the age of 2 or 3.' Would you expect a 2 year old to be able to sit down and have a rational, logical conversation with you? I dont think so! And yet, that is the very thing many parents attempt to do when their child is angry and upset. Can you see the waste of energy that gets expended doing this?

What you as a parent can do to help your angry child is to remain calm. Think like a super nanny on the front lines of parenting. The first thing you have to do is to help your child move to the thinking part of his or her brain. To do this, calmly (and with no sarcasm) 1. Ask your child, 'What part of your brain do you think youre using right now, the lizard part or the thinking part?' if the answer is, 'lizard part', then ask, 2. Is that working for you? Are you getting what you want?' If your child tells you 'no', then go the next question, 3. 'What do you need to do to get back to the thinking part of your brain?' If the child says, 'I dont know,' let him or her know you can see the shift has already happened because your child is answering your questions. This is a good thing! 4. If your child has calmed down a bit, ask if he or she needs some time to think about what just happened so you can talk about it together and come up with a way to handle the situation differently next time. If the child responds with a 'no', give a hug and say something like, 'You are always so much nicer when youre using the thinking part of your brain.' Then, walk away.

The next time, youre faced with an angry child ask yourself two important questions before you respond: 1. What part of the brain is my child using right now? 2. At what age do I usually see these behaviors in a child If your child is in the lizard part of the brain and acting like a toddler, this would not be a good time to talk. Get your child so he or she can think rationally, calm down and then go for the talk. You cant talk to a toddler (or anyone else for that matter) when hes upset. Help him calm down simply by acknowledging his angry feelings and be there with a smile and a hug (regardless of how youre feeling). This is a small gesture and will pay big benefits for you down the road.

MaryLynne White Can a Game Really Compel Any Child to Behave? 'How to Become a Super Nanny in Your Own Home! Free Consumer Awareness Guide Shows You How…' http://www.ParentSurvival911.com

MaryLynne has been in the field of child development and counseling, as well as educating and coaching parents professionally for several years. She has assisted families from all over the country to become happier, more structured and improved relationships between children and their parents.

By Dave Angel

Role-play activities, in natural settings, may assist your child in developing the social skills that he or she will need. This could include role-playing scenarios such as how to join in playground games, how to converse with class mates, what is expected in group settings etc. Providing them with a way to meet the special needs that they have may also be helpful. Special needs may include sensory integration techniques (of which I will mention more below), designed to reduce their anxiety. Anxiety among children with AS is common, usually because they cannot adapt to the stressors they experience. Most common among those stressors are transitional periods (such as going from school to home - which I will detail below).

During transitional periods, it is best to let your child fulfil their sensory needs, which may include obsessing about certain preferred items or activities. An alternative may include providing them with calming activities, such as massage, deep therapeutic touch or wrestling if that is their preferred activity. The trick is to find what makes them calm down, and then do it. What makes your child calm may be completely different than what calms another child, but thats okay. Difference is inevitable and as far as I am concerned diversity should always be welcomed.

The transition to school and home again can be especially difficult. Work with your childs school to develop a method that works well at both ends. Social activities are important for all children whether they have special needs or not. Therefore it will be critical for you to work out what makes your child socially acceptable and methods to teach them what they lack. Part of this challenge will be providing them opportunities to interact with other people where they will succeed rather than placing them in circles where they are not likely to succeed. For example is there a local scout group, sports group, church group or youth club that is led by someone who could be sympathetic and supportive of your childs needs? Often they will be happy to help you and your child with the right guidance. So in that situation you need to be a good advocate for your son and also an 'Aspergers expert' to teach the leader and others that run the group about your sons needs.

So to summarize this article it is essential that children with Aspergers are given the chance to build social networks and friendships. The challenge is that they do not have all the skills to do this. So it is important for the parent to teach their child through role play and other techniques these particular skills. Then the parent should also look for social activities for their son or daughter that will be a positive and supportive experience for them.

Dave Angel is a social worker with families who have children on the Autistic Spectrum and is the author of a new e-book that answers the 46 most asked questions by parents of children with Aspergers. To claim your free 7 day Mini-Course for parents of children with Aspergers Syndrome visit: http://www.parentingaspergers.com today.

By Tim Henry

Generally a preliminary audition is a time when the director, associate directors and casting people can see and hear the actors. Just seeing and hearing your child is an important first impression. Help keep your child calm and focused. If a child is uncomfortable and disagreeable and obviously not happy its a big no-no, and a no-brainer that this child wont be called back.

Your child should have at least one monologue prepared, and, if the show is a musical, a song. Make sure that your child is familiar and comfortable with the monologue and song. It will show.

Keep a positive attitude with your child but remain realistic. Of course not every child will be called back for a second audition for this particular show. However, if your child remains positive and is enthusiastic, and of course is truly talented, he or she will leave a lasting impression on the directors. Often directors remember a stand-out when another opportunity presents itself. Your child could get a surprise call to audition for another part.

Make sure you keep it a light as you can and make sure that this experience is also fun for your child. Auditions take a lot of self-confidence. Being passed over and rejected for a part is not easy, but is a part of the process. A lot of parents say that the skills their children learn in the theatre translate positively into their daily lives.

This article provided courtesy of http://www.acting-school-america.com

By Joseph Then

You can change the pattern in your life and it is never too late. Use simple steps each time you ask your child to do something. They will just take a little bit more time and lots of attention at the first request but you will save time and frustration when you are done. With some practice, this will become a habit. You will see that this is less frustrating and you will not be so angry or stressed out when you ask your child to do something. You will see that you will get respect from your child with a few parenting tips to follow.

The first thing that you want to do is decide in your own mind what you want your child to do and give them a time frame to complete it in. You will need to get their attention, which means that you need to make eye contact at least. Do not yell a chore from another room. If you are busy, stop what you are doing and ask the child to do the chore face to face.

Good parenting advice is to make sure that you tell the child specifically what you want them to do. Watch to make sure they start what you have asked them to do. After they do the requested task, you should praise them for what they did. This is very important. You must tell them how wonderful they did each time.

Good parenting also requires you to ask the child why they have not started the task if they do not do it when you ask. Do not use a harsh voice, be calm and respectfull when you ask them why.

If you have asked twice and the child still has not done what you wanted, make everything stop. They cannot to do anything else until they have completed what you ask of them. When the child throws a fit put them in a time out as a first step in settling the child. When they come out, tell them again what you want and explain that there will be consequences if it incomplete.

It is not easy to have good parenting skills and it will not come at once. You have to be patient and understanding and it will all work out in the end.

For more information on the parenting and how you can be a better parent, please visit: http://www.parenting-tips-online.info

By Sara J

You may decide to for go tradition and have a themed first birthday party. You can have decorations, cake, games and invitations that all coordinate with the theme of the party. You might want to keep in mind, babys love bright colors. Balloons are fine as long as they do not pop during the first birthday party. This could cause the little ones to become scared. Crying babies at a party are difficult to calm down with so many people around.

Plan the first birthday party for a time when the baby has had a nap. Even though birthdays are exciting and fun, little ones do get cranky if they are tired, no matter how much fun they are having. Always remember to include parents of little children no matter what the age is, you need to control all the little ones and be the party host. Plan what you will do as far as food and drinks. Usually the babys first birthday is adults and some cousins, you can have finger foods and soft drinks.

Because the babys first birthday is more for the adults, you can have games if you want too. If the weather is nice, you might want to have a scavenger hunt, play horseshoes or some other outdoor games. This is more for the adults, you will know your guest better and be able to plan accordingly. If the party is a success, you will have very few dishes to clean and hardly any mess.

The hardest part is planning a theme, you might want a baby block theme, number theme or the alphabet theme. Everything you need can be bought from the party store or online. You can even make your own invitations.

SaraJ is very much into music. She plays the piano and her favourite band is duran duran. She is also fond of writing. Especially about kids clothing which she has done for ababy clothing website called børnetøj.

By Digital Excellent

It seems to be a natural tendency to react rather than to respond. We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences. However, responding means being receptive to our childs feelings and emotions and allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us. By reacting, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions are invalid. But by responding and asking questions about why the child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows them to discuss their feelings further, and allows you a better understanding of where theyre coming from. Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel.

Its crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be inquisitive, and afterwards offer potential solutions to the problem.

Dont discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic. Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.

Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations. By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can draw from. Remember, respond - dont react.

For more information, please visit http://www.digitalexcellent.com/Parenting-Skills

Owner of http://www.digitalexcellent.com/

By Ampuan Yussof

One very important thing a parent needs to do is set clear goals for themselves and their children. After these goals are set, it is crucial to be as consistent as possible.

Keep in mind that a parents relationship with their child is essential in any family, but it is doubly important with ADHD children. For a relationship to work, you need both time and a willingness to listen. Spend at least fifteen minutes to half an hour a day with your child. Ask him or her about their day. Have a conversation or eat dinner with them. Simple things like this are the most important in keeping good connections with your child.

Even though it may seem like an ADHD child has more bad behaviors than good, emphasize the good ones as much as possible. The more you emphasize the good behaviors your child does, the better their self-concept will be.

When your child has misbehaved, try to stay as calm as you possibly can. The more out of control you act, the less seriously discipline is taken. Make sure when rules are broken that there are very clear consequences and that they are delivered in an unemotional manner. Yelling at a child with ADHD is extremely destructive.

Give your child choices for what they can do. Do not tell them exactly what they will eat, wear and do. The more choices they have, the more independent they will be as time goes on.

Make sure that the relationship behaviors modeled between parents are good ones. Children watch what you do, and they will imitate what they see later on in life. Make sure your behaviors are positive ones.

It is important that parents have time for themselves, or it is only natural that you will become stressed out. This is especially true for mothers who always feel they need to give 100% of themselves at all time. Even as a mother, you are an individual and need to take care of yourself as well.

Remember to be strict but kind. It is good to be firm, but being overly firm is not good either. Make sure your children know the difference. It is not good to be overly passive either.

About Author Ampuan Yussof co writter of A Comprehensive Guide Living & Thriving with ADHD You can reach him at http://www.living-with-adhd.org/ Get Free Report About ADHD Today

By Dawn Holland

Reading to your child has many benefits one of which is simply having time to snuggle together. Here are 10 reasons to read to your child.

1.When you read to your child, he/she will learn that reading is important to you, therefore reading will become important to him/her.

2.The more your child hears sounds, the better he/she will process these sounds into words. When a child is preschool/kindergarten age the listening word starts to become the written word.

3.Reading has a calming effect on a restless or fussy baby. Who doesnt want an easy way to calm a fussy baby?

4.Reading is a wonderful before bed routine. Studies have shown that a child will thrive in an atmosphere in which routines are present.

5.Reading will help to develop your childs imagination. Have you ever gotten lost in a good book? Your child can do the same while you are reading to him/her.

6.Reading will foster your childs ability to listen and pay attention. With all the problems we here about concerning attention spans this is a great way to avoid that.

7.Reading to a young child will teach him/her the correct way to hold a book and turn the pages.

8.Reading to your child will develop in him/her the desire to become a reader.

9.Teachers will thank you

10.When a child is read a personalized story book, he/she will be able to recognize his/her name in print at an early age. Isnt it exciting to think that you can have such an effect on your childs ability to read just by reading to him/her? You have the power to develop a life long joy of reading and learning in your child. WOW! Just read.

Dawn Holland is a WAHM of 3 boys and an RN with 12 years of maternal infant and pediatric nursing. She is also a Certified Breastfeeding counselor. Dawn owns Books from the Hearth, an online bookstore and gift shop specializing in personalized childrens books and personalized baby gifts. http://www.BooksFromTheHearth.com

By Chris Lakatos

Teaching and helping your child to deal with stress is important and below are some ways that we could look into :

(1) To decrease a childs stress, adults need to be observant of the basic sign of stress found in their child. Some common symtoms that parents could take note of includes : bedwetting, complaints of a pounding heart, stomachache, gradual decline or poor performance in school, demand for constant perfection, downgrading of self-esteem, extreme worry, irritability, lying, nightmares, overeating, poor sleep or eating habits, teeth grinding, difficulty getting along with friends and withdrawal from social activities. Ask your child what is wrong, and then confront the problem head on. Sometimes the smallest things can cause added stress and it will affect their grades. Find the source of stress, such as the presence of a bully or a child that is calling them names, or perhaps they just dont like to walk to school by themself - find the situation that is causing your child to lose sleep or have a bad day and help them solve that problem.

(2) Parenting is difficult as you are going to be put to the test with every child, with many situations in life. Keeping your patience and to tackle problems with a calm mind is all a part of being a good parent. To keep your calm and to build your patience, you can count to ten, before screaming, you could drink a glass of water, before finishing the argument or you could send the child to their room while you gather your composure and your thoughts before getting out of control. Remaining in control will prevent you from saying things you dont mean, and from doing things that you dont really want to happen. Remember : Be reasonable to your children no matter what wrong they have done and be fair if you think that punishment is inevitable.

(3) Anger can be a problem for a child of any age. Anger is expressed in many ways. If you find your child is punching things, or is throwing many objects when he or she is angry, teach the child other ways of expressing their anger. Teach the child to use the punching bag, to run on the treadmill, to talk to you about what is wrong, or to face their problems head on. Allowing a child to feel anger, and to keep pent up anger inside of their mind is only going to make the feelings of anger grow. Always try to seek and provide methods of expressing and venting the childs anger for good growth.

(4) A childs room is their own little castle. Respect the privacy of your child by allowing them to decorate and use their space, as their creative mind would like. Although you may not like the color of the paint, or you may not like the best up against the wall, the child has a creative imagination, and exploring it is not going to actually hurt anything. The colors of paint can be painted over, and the furniture can be moved again later, but by allowing a child to decorate their own room, you are also giving them a little more freedom and respect in their own life they will remember for a lifetime.

(5) Listen to the teacher who is involved in your childs life. As a young child, the growth and development of a child is watched by your childs teacher. A child will be spending a large portion of their time in school and a teacher is going to be able to watch and report to you how your child interacts with others in class and at play. A teacher will relay information to you if he/she feels your child requires extra help or may be heading down a path you would not desire involving behavior or stressful situations.

(6) Always put schoolwork before playtime. The best time for homework is in the timeframe of when the child comes home from school, and before they head out with their friends to the playground. This is a great boosting factor to get the homework done and completed, so they can get outside and play. After a child comes back from being out with their friends or out playing on the playground all evening, they are more likely to be too tired to do their homework without a fight.

All these will directly or indirectly helps you and your child cultivate the lifestyle to manage stress they experience in ways that they can feel more confidence in themselves and have a better relationship with you.

Last but not least, be generous with hugs and kisses or and signs of affection. Your child needs love and understanding more than ever during times of stress.

Take what youve learned from this article and begin working now… I am sure both you and your child will benefit from the love and care you shower them.

MyBestParentingTips.com provides Tips and resources for modern Parents. Articles are added consistently based on trends and we welcome visitors to add their contents to our site by visiting us.

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By Vaughn Balchunas

Bed Wetting and Children

Bed wetting is one of the most common bedtime issues with children. Boys are most often bed wetters as opposed to girls. Studies have shown that boys wet the bed up to twice as much as girls do. Bed wetting can not only cause stress for your child, but very often it causes embarrassment, as well. You should consult with a doctor if your childs if:

Your child is over the age of 7 and is still bed wetting. Your child is potty trained then all the sudden starts bed wetting. Your child tells you they need help.

It is also a good idea to seek professional help if your childs bed wetting is affecting his ability to sleep.

Nightmares

It is common for most children to experience nightmares every once in a while. Nightmares are just one bedtime issue regarding children. They most often occur during light sleep, and will usually awaken your child. They leave children very frightened, and most of the time a child will not want to go back to sleep. There are some actions you can take to help your child with this bedtime issue.

Firstly, you can limit what your child sees on television before bedtime. By eliminating violent shows and movies from your childs viewing, you will be in a sense, preventing a nightmare before it happens. Trying to prevent nightmares in the first place is always a good idea.

Secondly, you should anticipate nightmares, and always be prepared. It is very important for a parent to go to their child if their child is awaken at night by a scary dream. In order to go back to sleep successfully, your child may need your comfort, as well as your support.

Lastly, reassure your child after a bad dream, and remind them that you are always there to be their protector. You should always speak to your child in a calm manner, and always tell them it is safe to go back to sleep. Stay with your child as long as they need you to, but do not let your child get in bed with you. It is very important to make them comfortable in their own bed.

Bedtime can often be stressful, no matter what the issue might be. The most important factor in regular, peaceful sleep is routine. By establishing a set routine, it will help your child develop more consistent sleeping habits, as they will be training themselves when they should be tired. Routines can actually take the stress out of bedtime, and thus eliminate most bedtime issues.

For more information about children and bed wetting and parenting preschoolers and teenagers visit http://parentingclub.info

By Ann Marier

Child Diabetes Testing Tips

If your child has trouble with needles then it is best to prepare the testing supplies where they cannot see them. When it comes time for the test make sure you do it as quickly as possible and let the child resume normal activities right after the test is complete. If a child is fine with the testing process then perhaps you can allow them to take part by doing such tasks as wiping the spot with alcohol or select which finger to use for testing. Your child will be calmed by having a sense of control over the testing process.

Mealtime Tips

Child diabetes can be especially challenging for a child when it comes to mealtime. If possible, it is best to make mealtime a calm and pleasant experience. Avoid choosing food for your child and expecting them to eat it, rather it is best to provide your child with a few food choices so they can still eat healthy but not feel forced to do so. Have everyone eat the same food so that the child wont be left out and the family can have the benefit of eating healthy food.

Signs Of Low Blood Sugar In Child Diabetes

Despite all the efforts on behalf of parents, children with diabetes are still going to have low blood sugar from time to time. A sign of low blood sugar may be a change from a childs normal behavior. If children become more irritable thank usual or are becoming sleepy during a time they normally dont then this can be a good indication that their blood sugar is getting low.

In case of low blood sugars, you should have something such as juice or soda on hand. For children with diabetes it is better to have drinks rather than something that needs to be chewed. It is best to have a meal or snack follow these sugar sources since they will not last long and you dont want the blood sugar levels to drop down again. To avoid low blood sugars at night it may be a good idea to do extra testing at night before bed.

So your child will be prepared it is a good idea to discuss and teach the signs of low blood sugar to your child. You should make sure they have a sugar source with them at all times and know what to do should their blood sugar get too low. It is also extremely important that you make sure your child wears a medical ID as all time. If your child isnt comfortable with having, others see the medical ID bracelet then consider getting a medical ID that is on a necklace so it can be worn under their clothes.

Ann Merier writes articles about the home and family health in general. Her many article topics include mothers day,diabetes,detox diet,yoga,fireplaces Mothers Day Diabetes

By Rachel Evans

First of all, when your child is diagnosed with autism, research the symptoms that are associated with this developmental disorder. The more information you have, the better you will be qualified to deal with certain situations. It will also help to join a support group for parents with autistic children. Youll find other parents will be willing to share their sources of information with you.

When you find a program for your child, youll want to make sure it is appropriately qualified to deal with your childs social anxiety. Every autistic child is different so youll want to make sure you are honest and up-front about the symptoms your child displays. Its also important to remember that the sooner you can get your child enrolled in a program, the more significant difference it can make in alleviating their social anxiety.

Your childs program should include playtime where they will be able to learn to make friends and how to interact with others. This play activity is very important to getting over their social anxiety. The activities should include something fun. For example, having children play an appropriate aged-level board game. This can help your child to learn how to interact with others.

Many children with autism have difficulty when it comes to understanding how another individual feels. This influences how they are able to interact with others. One way to help them with this is to use picture cards of characters with different facial expressions and posture. Once they understand how others may possibly feel by facial expressions and body language, they will more easily interact with others.

There are many things you can work on with your child to help them manage the social anxieties they face. Most children with autism simply lack the ability to react to change in a calm manner. Your child, if given the opportunity to become social, may simply wander off to be by themselves.

To be successful in helping your child, the most important thing you can do is to be patient with them. Do not force social activities on them, however, make sure they are available. Whether it is sitting down to dinner with the family or going over to a friends house to play, youll want to do what you can to make sure your child is as comfortable as possible. Talk to them and explain to them what is going to happen and where they are going. Try not to shove surprises on them, as youll need to prepare them for activities.

Your child with autism can learn, with time and patience, how to handle different social interactions with others. As their parent, your job is to assist them with managing their anxieties by providing them with plenty of opportunities in which to adjust to a variety of situations.

Rachel Evans. You can sign up for a Free Autism Newsletter at Essential Guide To Autism or for autism articles click here Autism Articles

By KC Smith

Shortening the length of the goodbye can also be key in lessening Separation Anxiety. Be sure to have all of your childs necessities packed in one place so that you can hand them over to the caregiver and make your exit. It is important to say goodbye to the child, however. Sometimes it seems like sneaking out the door is the easiest way to avoid a scene, but it will only add to the childs sense of distrust about you leaving. Having everything gathered together makes it easier to leave without having to keep returning to drop off items from the car and thus drawing out the inevitable. If you are leaving the child with a caregiver at your own home, resist the urge to return to the house, even if you can hear your little one crying. It generally takes a few minutes for kids to calm down, and every time to return, you are increasing that duration.

Anticipation of a separation can also increase the childs anxiety, so its best not to discuss it too much ahead of time. It may be helpful, however, to practice separating so the child becomes accustomed to the act. Set up a time with a friend or family member when you can drop the child off for short periods of time. Try leaving your child there for 15 minutes or so, and then return and point out that you did as you said you would. Gradually increase the time you are gone, remembering to always say 'goodbye' before you leave and to make note of your return. It is best to return while the child is awake, too, so he is aware that you are safe before trying to go to sleep.

You can also decrease our childs anxiety by making the situation less novel. This suggestion is less for parents who deal with Separation Anxiety each day when dropping the child off at the same daycare, and more for those whose children become clingy in new situations. If you are planning to drop your child off at a new daycare or school, it can be extremely helpful to do a little reconnaissance first. Ask the caregivers for names of other families at that daycare or school and look into setting up play dates before the big event. Then you can take your child to the new environment, and he will already know someone there. You can extend this by taking the child to the new place for a little tour for the both of you before his first day. Talk about all the fun things you saw and the child will experience when he returns to spend time on his own.

Finally, children often respond to separation as their parents do. If you find leaving your child to be traumatic, dont let on. Be brave and avoid letting him see you cry. The same is true upon your return. It is great to hug the child and tell him how happy you are to see him, but getting overly emotional will just reinforce the childs idea that separation is difficult. For the majority of children, this phase will pass with time, but there are ways to lessen the effects. As with so many aspects of parenting, your strength will likely be the factor that teaches your child the proper response to separation.

Learn many more tips and tricks to overcome Child Separation Anxiety at… http://www.separation-anxiety-solution.com

By Bonnie Foshee

Parenting is not an easy job, and it is especially hard when you see your child struggling to master something as complex as reading and phonics. As an adult with years of reading experience, it can be hard to visualize why your child is having problems picking up something that came so naturally to you and to others. This can leave you feeling inadequate and frustrated, both of which can have a negative impact on your efforts to improve your childs reading skills.

So, be calm; be patient, and follow these parenting tips for improving reading skills:

1. Read with your child often no matter what his or her age. Bedtime stories are not just for babies and preschoolers. Schedule some sort of age-appropriate reading activity that the whole family can enjoy each and every day. Some ideas include reading the newspaper, sharing poetry, creating plays from story books, and having a family reading hour. Remember what families did before radio and television? They read together, and you can too.

2. Ask your son questions about what was read to see if he understands the text. Can your child relate the story to something or someone that he knows?

3. At different points in story books, ask your daughter to predict what is going to happen. Do not tell her what you think is going to happen. Be sure to ask questions at the end about the outcome and what she thought about it.

4. Educational toys and computer programs that reinforce reading skills can be a great idea. Be sure that these encourage your child to read, though, and that they do not become a chore. Your child will not stick with anything that is not enjoyable. Strive to keep reading an enjoyable part of your childs education.

5. Instill a love of reading by setting a good example. Turn off the TV and pick up a book yourself. If you make reading a regular part of your life, your child will want to follow suit. Go to the library together, and make reading a leisure activity.

6. Look for opportunities to read where your child least expects it. This can be especially good for children who refuse to cooperate with tutoring or other efforts to improve their reading skills. Ask your child to help you follow a recipe for making their favorite cookies or have him read you the lyrics of his favorite song. Be creative; the goal is to get your child reading.

Remember, creativity is the key to teaching your child to read, and then helping your child improve her reading skills. Dont just bark commands at her or make her practice reading drills. Instill a love of reading in her and she will continue to learn and grow even when you are not watching.

Bonnie Foshee, Parenting Expert. If you are not yet receiving my free powerful parenting tips, you are missing out. Go to http://www.child-success-secrets.com now.

By Pat Brill

Have you ever gotten mad at your child? Be honest. No one can answer that question with a 'no' and really mean it. When youve gotten angry, have you said things you didnt necessarily mean? Things that may have been hurtful and degrading?

Lets face it - its not uncommon to say things that you dont really mean in the heat of an argument. The problem is that when you say these things to your children, it really hits home and makes an impact.

#1 - Words Can Hurt Lets say youre fighting with your brother or sister. One thing leads to another and before you know it youre calling your sibling a not-so-nice name and storming out of the room. No big deal, right? After all, siblings fight and sooner or later you both get over it.

Now change the scenario and instead of you fighting with a sibling, its you fighting with your child. One thing leads to another and that not-so-nice name is directed at your child. Think it wont leave a permanent emotional scar? Guess again.

#2 - Your Opinion Makes an Impression As a parent, each and every thing you say to your child about personality, character and intellect really does affect the way your child views themselves as a person. If you call your child dumb, hes really going to think hes dumb. If you call her ignorant, shes really going to think shes ignorant. The harm may not be apparent on the surface, but deep down inside youre planting the seeds of self-doubt and low self esteem in the character of your child.

Its human nature for a child to look to their parent for guidance. If a parent is constantly criticizing a child, that child is going to suffer because of it. Does that mean you should be singing their praises even when theyve done something wrong? Absolutely not! But remember - its not what you say, its how you say it.

#3 - Outbursts Dont Teach Proper Communication or Self Control You can tell your child that youre disappointed in their behavior without calling them a name or degrading them as a person. If youre angry with your child, dont let a word fall from your mouth without first considering how its going to sound when he or she hears it. If it sounds like a personal attack, rethink the way youre approaching it and word your thoughts differently. If you want your child to grow up knowing how to properly communicate and show their disappointment or displeasure, you need to be the one to set the example.

By communicating with your child in a calm, rational and non-confrontational manner, youll be able to get your point across without doing any damage to the emotional development of your son or daughter.

Pat Brill is co-founder of http://www.SilkBow.com which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood. SilkBow is the perfect place for the perfect gift. To contact Pat, email her at pat@silkbow.com

By Dave Angel

Anticipation for a child with Aspergers Syndrome leads to increased levels of anxiety which they cannot control. They become overloaded and then you have a massive meltdown at the time when you are all supposed to be enjoying and celebrating the season of peace and goodwill! The party will be ruined and everybody upset, especially your child who is trying so hard to fit in and be like everybody else. So how can you achieve the impossible and enjoy the season while at the same time keeping your Aspergers child calm and behaving appropriately?

The first simple step to take is to simply reduce the time talking about the festive occasion. Remember he /she cannot easily control their emotions and to chatter constantly about the event will simply lead to stress and anxiety. It is useful to enlist the help of others in your home in this and keep any conversations to a minimum while your Aspergers child is around. Another great strategy to help is to keep any physical changes to your home to the minimum, so by all means decorate, put up cards and a tree but just dont make a big fuss about it all. A good tip is to not put out any presents until the day they are to be opened as your Aspergers child will have a hard time keeping their hands off and will became anxious and potentially oppositional.

Although its important not to overload your child it is equally important to explain any changes to their routines. So prepare your child for any changes by calmly telling them the day before what will be happening. Visual supports always work well so use photos or simple pictures to explain what will be happening. It is also important to explain to your child what is expected of them, e.g. to say hello how are you' to guests and sit at the table to share the meal. Your child will also need to be given permission to leave the festivities and you can rehearse this together with some simple role play. This is really important as it gives your child an exit strategy and also allows them to get through the celebrations without going into meltdown. Additionally if you see that he/she is becoming distressed you can also activate the exit cue so your child gets out before the situation deteriorates. Following these simple steps should lead to a much more positive experience for everyone and will provide your Aspergers child with the love, support, reassurance and above all confidence to participate fully in these wonderful occasions.

So to summarize briefly it is important to keep preparations and discussions around the holidays to a minimum when the child with Aspergers is around. Preparing them as to what will be expected of them at this time, as well as incorporating an exit strategy, will help further. Good luck!

Dave Angel is a social worker with families who have children on the Autistic Spectrum and is the author of a new e-book that answers the 46 most asked questions by parents of children with Aspergers. To claim your free 7 day Mini-Course for parents of children with Aspergers Syndrome, visit http://www.parentingaspergers.com today.

By Leah Fendi

Child discipline is one of the most important factors on successful parenting. Parents who have good behavior and excellent self management skills children are successful parents. A child with good behavior knows how to respect the rights of others, which behaviors are acceptable and which are not, has good self-confident, and does not get too frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday life. This is not an easy task. Many parents already know about the importance of child discipline but they just do not know how and what to do. That is why every parent should learn about child discipline.

Here are 10 basics of child discipline guidelines:

1) First of all, you must understand that discipline is not same as punishment. It has more to do with teaching.

2) Be strict but not abusive. It means that you have to be consistent in your discipline method, or how you punish your child.

3) Think proactive. Before you act think ahead what is the consequences of your action.

4) Talk positively with love and care to your child. This is a good motivator. Tell your child what is the consequence of his/her misbehavior. Also tell him/her that you want them to be a good child.

5) Do you like to hear constantly what you have done wrong? Most of us do not like it. Same goes for children. By telling many times that they are doing wrong will tear them down. Praise and reward them whenever they behave good. If they always misbehave think of other techniques besides tell them that they are doing wrong. It is important that in disciplining children, we build them up rather than tear them down.

6) Set up a daily routine for your younger children and try to find a way on how to stick to it every day. I have a friend who set up a schedule for her children. Whoever misses any jobs will be marked as red and get less marks. A child who has lower marks will get less school allowance. By this way her children will try to get all their jobs done!

7) Be careful when using threats. You tend to say things you do not mean when you get angry. Too many threats will effect your child behavior too. They will learn from you and use your words to threat other people thus leads to bad manner.

Do not offer choices for must-do routine. For example when you set routine for them to get sleep at 10 pm, then you should say 'Its time for bed' rather than ' Do you want to go to bed now?'.

9) Experts say that giving too much command or repeating the same command is not an effective discipline method. You should give a command once and if not followed, then repeat it once again and warn him of the consequences for his misbehave will be. If still not effective, then apply the consequences.

10) Sometimes it is good to have 'calm down' time. It gives benefit not only for your child but also for you. One of a popular discipline technique among parents is time-out. Time-out is a discipline technique that involves placing children in a very boring place for several minutes following misbehavior. It is an effective discipline tool when used appropriately. Make sure the place is safe for your child and no distractions.

The above guidelines are only a few of many methods to discipline your child. There are many methods but you have to know how to use them. Different method works with different behavior. Before implementing any methods make sure you have studied about it. If you are really serious in getting your child to be discipline, buying a few books related to child discipline as your guidance is absolutely a good action.

Leah Fendi is a work-at-home mom who really concerns about positive parenting, health and fitness issues.

By Leah Fendi

Child discipline is one of the most important factors on successful parenting. Parents who have good behavior and excellent self management skills children are successful parents. A child with good behavior knows how to respect the rights of others, which behaviors are acceptable and which are not, has good self-confident, and does not get too frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday life. This is not an easy task. Many parents already know about the importance of child discipline but they just do not know how and what to do. That is why every parent should learn about child discipline.

Here are 10 basics of child discipline guidelines:

1) First of all, you must understand that discipline is not same as punishment. It has more to do with teaching.

2) Be strict but not abusive. It means that you have to be consistent in your discipline method, or how you punish your child.

3) Think proactive. Before you act think ahead what is the consequences of your action.

4) Talk positively with love and care to your child. This is a good motivator. Tell your child what is the consequence of his/her misbehavior. Also tell him/her that you want them to be a good child.

5) Do you like to hear constantly what you have done wrong? Most of us do not like it. Same goes for children. By telling many times that they are doing wrong will tear them down. Praise and reward them whenever they behave good. If they always misbehave think of other techniques besides tell them that they are doing wrong. It is important that in disciplining children, we build them up rather than tear them down.

6) Set up a daily routine for your younger children and try to find a way on how to stick to it every day. I have a friend who set up a schedule for her children. Whoever misses any jobs will be marked as red and get less marks. A child who has lower marks will get less school allowance. By this way her children will try to get all their jobs done!

7) Be careful when using threats. You tend to say things you do not mean when you get angry. Too many threats will effect your child behavior too. They will learn from you and use your words to threat other people thus leads to bad manner.

Do not offer choices for must-do routine. For example when you set routine for them to get sleep at 10 pm, then you should say 'Its time for bed' rather than ' Do you want to go to bed now?'.

9) Experts say that giving too much command or repeating the same command is not an effective discipline method. You should give a command once and if not followed, then repeat it once again and warn him of the consequences for his misbehave will be. If still not effective, then apply the consequences.

10) Sometimes it is good to have 'calm down' time. It gives benefit not only for your child but also for you. One of a popular discipline technique among parents is time-out. Time-out is a discipline technique that involves placing children in a very boring place for several minutes following misbehavior. It is an effective discipline tool when used appropriately. Make sure the place is safe for your child and no distractions.

The above guidelines are only a few of many methods to discipline your child. There are many methods but you have to know how to use them. Different method works with different behavior. Before implementing any methods make sure you have studied about it. If you are really serious in getting your child to be discipline, buying a few books related to child discipline as your guidance is absolutely a good action.

Leah Fendi is a work-at-home mom who really concerns about positive parenting, health and fitness issues.

By Sagit Hadad

Take a deep breath…YES your little baby is going to school. And therefore, this is just the time for the final preparations for the big day.

Why now? Because a child who is about to go to school for the first time in his life must partake in special preparations which are more time consuming than an ordinary pupils preparations.

I know how exited you are about the first day at school. Just think about it; you have already been there. You know what its like to be a new pupil, but still you are very exited. Imagine how your child feels, he doesnt know what to expect. When you dont know what to expect it is even more nerve racking.

The best way to reduce the anxiety level is to introduce the child to the things that he will have to deal with when he starts school, and this requires time, so dont postpone it until the last minute. Start now!

Take your child to buy school supplies.

Teach your child how to organize his pencil case efficiently - pencils, eraser and sharpener in one compartment, colored pencils in the second compartment and glue and scissors in the third. Efficient organization of his pencil case will make finding the equipment much easier.

Teach your child to organize his backpack efficiently - one compartment for exercise books, one compartment for text books and one compartment for food.

Buy your child some preparation for first grade books and spend time working with him in the books each day. The practice will prepare him to deal with studying in school and will also develop their fine motor skills.

At the first possible opportunity, before the opening of the school year, take your child for a tour of the school. Make sure to show him his classroom, the secretaries office and no less important…(and yes I know this sounds a bit strange) the bathroom.

Many schools hold a 'getting acquainted meeting' with the first graders before the opening of the school year. Do not miss this meeting! If the school does not plan on holding a meeting, demand a meeting with the homeroom teacher during the vacation. The homeroom teacher is the most significant figure at school for your child, and it is therefore imperative that your child meets her before the opening of the school year. On the first day of school she will be a familiar face in a new and unfamiliar place.

On the first day of school accompany your child to school and stay with him for a while. Promise him that you will collect him at the end of the day and then go off on your way. He may cry when you part, in which case, support him, encourage him, but dont stay too long at school. Trust that the educational staff will know how to calm him down.

At the end of the school day, collect your child from school and take him for a few hours of fun; eat lunch together, talk about the first day at school, buy him an ice-cream, and dont forget to tell him that you love him and how proud you are of him.
May you have a pleasant beginning and a successful school year!

Sagit Hadad is a teacher of elementary school and an instructor in informal education. Visit http://www.activities-for-kids.net/index.html where you can find a collection of the most successful activities that she initiated over the years with children.